Sorcerer’s Handbook

“It must be wonderful to soak in a hot spring and watch the snow at Xuemang.”
“I want to order a set of Master Ronan’s patterned thrust swords.”
“Can’t you all look further ahead and not just focus on these vulgar material pleasures? I’m different-I want to buy a villa in the suburbs. I heard Galaxia is planning to develop Satellite Cities. Buying a house now means it’ll appreciate in value and I can use it myself.”
“But isn’t it inconvenient to work if you buy a house in the suburbs?”
“If I’ve bought a house, do I still need to work? I have to work before buying a house, and after buying a house I still have to work-doesn’t that mean I bought it for nothing?”
When Sonya returned to the dorm after training, she immediately heard her roommates discussing some very adult topics.
While pouring herself some water, she said, “I’m glad to hear you all looking forward to the future, but since even Adelle is joining in-did some new TV drama about dreams just premiere?”
“Hey, hey!” Adelle said, “I’m not a TV drama addict! I wouldn’t do something just because a show is airing!”
Sonya gulped down a big glass of water and asked, “How many visits do you have left on your archery club membership card that’s partnered with ‘Heartshot’?”
“What were you doing last night, the night before, the night before that, and all those early mornings this month?”
“Watching dramas… but that’s the poison of Galaxia’s film industry for ordinary folks like me!” Adelle spread her hands. “A bunch of handsome men and beautiful women acting out thrilling love and hate on the Holographic Screen just to entertain a naive young college girl like me. If I didn’t get addicted, I’d be letting down those thousands and tens of thousands spent on big productions!”
“Young?” Lois looked a bit confused.
“Lois, we’re the same age.” Adelle was speechless.
“Sorry, it’s just you always tell dirty jokes like a middle-aged person, and you wear pajamas all day like an old lady who hates exercise. I can’t really tell.” Lois said, “I’ve always suspected you came to college to retire, or maybe to retire the professors-rumor has it this year’s faculty health reports show their blood pressure has gone up a lot.”
“How is that my fault?” Adelle blinked. “Isn’t it because something big happened in the Virtual Realm?”
“The Virtual Realm only tortures sorcerers for a few hours, but you can torture them for a whole semester.” Lois said, “Now failing a class means adding another semester. I believe when the professors reach the end of their lives, they won’t remember the smart, diligent students, but they’ll definitely remember you, the demon.”
“Can you not go so off-topic?” Adelle looked helpless. “Let’s just talk about me being a TV drama addict.”
“We were just discussing those three fugitives.” Engulite explained to Sonya. “One thing led to another, and we started talking about the bounty, then how we’d spend the reward money.”
Sonya took off her boots, slipped her thumb under the edge of her stockings, and gently slid the black silk down her thigh. “If I remember the notice right, those three fugitives… seem to all be sanctuary sorcerers?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re discussing how to spend the bounty for catching those three fugitives?”
“Yes.”
The village girl looked at the three of them, shrugged, and said, “Well, at least you’re not outnumbered.”
“If you got thirty thousand gold coins, how would you spend it?” Adelle asked. “Buy property, start your own studio, or invest in a custom-made female lead TV drama?”
“If I had thirty thousand gold coins, I’d definitely buy the Supernova Life Extension Insurance from the Stars business association.” Sonya shrugged. “And Supernova isn’t even the most expensive-my god…”
“You’re not even twenty yet, why are you already researching life extension?” Lois was baffled. “You don’t even plan to go to the Abyss. The only things on the surface that threaten you are legendary sorcerers and chiffon cake-have you gained weight?”
Lois reached out and pinched the belly of the stretching paw sword saint. The sword saint wasn’t afraid at all and let her pinch. “I just got stronger. My belly is all muscle, not fat!”
“Really? Let me feel too.”
“Damn, it feels pretty good. Aren’t Swordmasters supposed to have barrel waists? You’re an unqualified Swordmaster!”
Sonya slapped their hands away and said, “Speaking of money, Lois, see if you can get me a few more endorsements. I’ll consider any job with a high payout.”
“Didn’t you say before that you’d rather have none than settle, and you wouldn’t ruin your reputation by taking jobs you’re not interested in?” Lois said. “You’re still a student-you should enjoy your rosy university days. There’s no need to waste your precious youth on work. You won’t even need to work after graduation; the Stars will support you sanctuary sorcerers.”
“That’s so nice, getting supported by the country after graduation.” Adelle pouted. “The only people willing to support me are Dad, my fiancé, and the five-year-old boy next door-“
“It’s unethical to target little kids.” Engulite said seriously.
“No, I just want to trick him out of his pocket money for ice cream.” Adelle snorted. “I spent too much last semester, and Dad won’t give me a cent at home, but it doesn’t matter-there’s always a man willing to spend money on me!”
Lois raised her hand in surrender. “I take back what I said. You really are young-at least young enough that even that five-year-old feels obligated to support you…”
“I want to earn more money lately.” Sonya said. “I want to buy more insurance for my mother. She’s not that young anymore. When I looked into it, I found out there are so many types of commercial insurance: savings, critical illness, life extension… I’ve saved a bit, but it’s nowhere near enough.”
The roommates fell silent. Adelle hugged her plush toy and said, “Now this is what I call not being able to tell someone’s age. I could never bring up such a weighty, serious topic-I’m so nervous I almost need to pee.”
“Sonya, why don’t you just buy a few of the more important insurance policies? And I remember these can be paid as annuities, so you only need to spend a small amount each year. You can totally afford it,” Lois said. “Don’t tell me you’re planning to buy them all in one go?”
“It costs a lot less to buy them all at once…” Sonya said quietly, “And my insurance plan is based on the hope that my mother can live to eighty without any decline in her physical health, so…”
“Sonya, you’re the best insurance your mother could have.” Engulite said, “A sanctuary sorcerer’s daughter guarantees her quality of life better than any policy.”
“Mm, I know.” The village girl let out a soft hum. “But it’s always good to be prepared, just in case…? Anyway, earning more money never hurts. Do you have any suggestions?”
Adelle blinked and tapped the Holographic Screen, saying, “Then we’ll leave these three fugitives to you. Want me to send you the real-time fugitive info app?”
“No, I only take safe jobs that pay well and require little work.” Sonya tilted her head. “Preferably jobs where I can use my sorcerer status to rake in cash.”
“That probably won’t work,” Lois said. “Now that there’s the Tax Bureau, I really wouldn’t recommend competing with them.”
Just then, the alarm went off, ending the conversation. Lois and Engulite got ready to shower, and Adelle looked at Sonya. “Sonya, are we rewatching ‘Blade of Shifting Time’ tonight or checking out the latest ‘Echoes of the Mortal World’?”
Since Lois and Engulite were heading to the Meditation Building to enter the Virtual Realm, only Sonya and Adelle would be left in the dorm at night. Plus, both were TV drama fans, so naturally, they’d spend the evening watching shows together.
As Sonya pondered, her expression suddenly changed. She jumped up and said, “Wait!”
Everyone froze. Lois, who was about to enter the bathroom, stopped, and they all watched as Sonya walked solemnly to the bathroom door, pushed it open, closed it behind her, and then came the rustling sounds of undressing.
“I’m showering first tonight! Lois, bring me some clothes!”
Lois was so annoyed she wanted to curse. “No way!”
“Then I’ll have to come out naked!”
“You…”
Lois clicked her tongue, opened Sonya’s wardrobe, picked out an outfit, and handed it through the bathroom door.
Sonya finished her shower surprisingly fast. Soon, she came out steaming, hurriedly combed her hair, put on her short boots, lifted her long hair and tied it up with a hairband, then shook her head to let it fall loose. The scent of shampoo spread through the dorm.
“I get it!” Adelle declared. “Your soul has healed, hasn’t it?”
“How did you know?” Sonya asked in surprise.
“Of course, thanks to my amazing insight, outstanding analytical skills, and the blush on your face from the post-shower rush.” Adelle shrugged. “You tried your best, but in front of the legend of the romance Sect, your secrets are laid bare.”
Sonya instinctively covered her warm cheeks. “But it really is just because I showered!”
“I know, I know.” Adelle nodded repeatedly. “If I showered for an hour, I’d look the same.”
“Is that because of the shower or because you play role-play games with your boyfriend, ‘Detective Adelle’?” Lois said.
Adelle glared at Lois and muttered, “Both.”
“Sonya, congratulations.” Engulite smiled. “In every sense of the word.”
“Thanks.” The stretching paw sword saint picked up her sword bag and left the dorm with a spring in her step. They heard Sonya greeting people in the hallway, even singing as she left, as if every breeze in the night was tinged with happiness.
“What did she mean by ‘just in case’?” Engulite suddenly asked.
“Besides ‘in case she’s not around,’ what other options are there?” Lois said. “I’ve never met her boyfriend, but my impression of him is extremely, extremely poor.”
“Wait,” Adelle suddenly realized, “You’re both going to the Meditation Building tonight, so I’ll be alone in the dorm?”
“Isn’t that great? You can watch shows at full volume.”
“Of course not! I’m scared to sleep alone! I have to sleep with Debbie when I go home now!”
“Who’s Debbie?”
“My dog!”
Lois spread her hands. “Pets aren’t allowed in the dorm building, so I guess you’ll have to find a doghouse to sleep in.”
“No way,” Adelle bit her thumb, “Even if it’s just so I don’t have to sleep alone, I have to become a sorcerer!”
Lois: “As much as I want to encourage you, if I were the Virtual Realm, I’d never let you pass Knowledge Resonance.”
“Why?” Engulite asked in surprise. “Don’t you want to see how many days Adelle would cry after being bitten to death by a Blade Fish Dragon?”
Lois shook her head. “What’s the point of betting on that… She’d definitely use it as an excuse to take leave and binge-watch shows in the dorm.”
Adelle gritted her teeth. “You two… actually cursed me like this…”
“No, we’re not cursing you!” Lois called out sincerely. “We just want to see you cry and act all pitiful after your bad luck, out of pure goodwill!”
“That’s a curse!”