You Always Change the Love of Your Life (for Another Love or Another Life)

220 Pages·2018·26.72 MB·English

by  Amalia Andrade

PENGUIN BOOKS
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
penguinrandomhouse.com
First published in Spanish as Uno siempre cambia al amor de su vida (por otro amor o por otra vida) by Espasa, an imprint of
Editorial Planeta Colombiana S.A., Bogotá, Colombia Copyright © 2015, 2017, 2018 by Amalia Andrade Arango Translation
copyright © 2018 by Ezra E. Fitz Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free
speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws
by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing
Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
ISBN 9780143133469 (paperback) ISBN 9780525505266 (ebook)
The recipes contained in this book are to be followed exactly as written. The Publisher is not responsible for your specific health or
allergy needs that may require medical supervision. The Publisher is not responsible for any adverse reactions to the recipes contained
in this book.
Cover design: Brianna Harden
Cover illustration and hand lettering: Amalia Andrade
Version_1
FOR LA MAMMA, WHO TAUGHT ME THAT LOVE IS A SUPERPOWER
FOR MOM
Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Before You Start Reading
Alternate Titles
Treat Yourself to Stickers
Chapter One: Crying
A List of Things That Definitely Do Not Work Right Now
A List of Things That Absolutely Do Work Right Now
Masters of Emotions
People Who’ve Had It Worse
Medical Explanations
Chapter Two: Self-Destruction
Love Addict Recovery Kit
Self-Destructive Behavior Checklist
Results
On the Meaning of Self-Destruction
Types of Internal Monologues
The Death-Rebirth Cycle
Chapter Three: Anger, Revenge, and Other Related Feelings
How to Insult Someone with Sweet Talk
Notes on Anger
Chapter Four: Depression
How to Tell If You’re Depressed
Depression = Desperate Measures
Signs of Normal Grief vs. Signs of Abnormal Grief
Magical Thinking
Songs to Sing in the Shower
Your Personal Playlist
Healing Rituals
Chapter Five: It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
People Who Understand That Catastrophe Can Lead to Victory
It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
Acceptance Is a Superpower You Don’t Know You Have
Other Superpowers
Chapter Six: Reinventing Yourself
Everything Changes
Number One
Number Two
Number Three
Number Four
Number Five
Number Six
Chapter Seven: When the Tears Are Gone
João’s future
Rio, 21 Years Later
Theory of Affective Non-Return: A Thesis on Positive Psychoactiveness
A Guide to Finding Love After Heartbreak
Part One: How Not to Love
Part Two: Just Looking for a Little Love
Part Three: The Travel Theory
Part Four: Experts on Love Reborn
Part Five: Falling in Love . . . with Yourself
Part Six: Falling in Love . . . with Someone Else
Part Seven: The Ice Cream Theory
Recipes
Magic Soup That Cures Everything
Feeling Feelings Cookies
Eggs and Rice
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Pancakes in a Caserola
Croissant Bread Pudding
No-Bake Cheesecake
Grilled Cheese Sandwich with Fries
Oven Roasted Chicken
Acknowledgments
About the Author
One thing I am never going to do when I grow up is fall in love, drop
out of college, learn to subsist on water and air, have a species named
after me, and ruin my life.
—NICOLE KRAUSS, The History of Love Is there a word for
when you are young and pretending to have lived and loved a
thousand lives? Is there a German word for that? . . . Let’s
say it’s Schaufenfrieglasploit.
—AMY POEHLER, Yes Please
BEFORE YOU START READING
This book is for you if you are heartbroken because:
The love of your life is gone.
You let the love of your life go and now you’re regretting it (deeply).
You were born with a broken heart.
You are heartbroken over the death of your dog, cat, or boa constrictor.
You broke up with your best friend.
You broke your own heart.
Someone you love very much has passed away.
You broke up with your imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend.
Other:

(Write your emotional situation here, total anonymity guaranteed.)*
ALTERNATE TITLES
1. What People Promise When They Are in Love: How to Deal with Broken
Promises, Broken Hearts, and Other Related Complications
2. Heartbreak: A Portable Encyclopedia of Bad Romances, Bad Breakups,
Bad Vibes, and Other Related Feelings
3. ___________________ (Write your own title here.)
TREAT YOURSELF TO STICKERS
Stickers (available wherever stickers are sold) can be used whenever you feel
you are making progress. Any sparkly star sticker, smiley face sticker, good
job sticker, or the kind of stickers that smell good if you scratch them (not
you, licorice sticker, you suck) will work PERFECTLY FINE for the purposes of
this book. Use a sticker when:
You haven’t cried in public in over a week.
You have refrained from writing passive-aggressive tweets and/or
Instagram captions.
You haven’t asked your friend who follows him/her on Instagram to show
you pictures in more than three days.
You have showered, gone to work, and eaten a proper meal in the past
twenty-four hours.