Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About it

305 Pages·2001·2.58 MB·English

by  Allan Pease

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WHY MEN
DON'T LISTEN

&

WOMEN CAN'T
READ MAPS

Barbara & Allan Pease

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Copyright © Allan Pease 2001
All rights reserved
The right of Allan Pease to be identified
as the author of this work has been
asserted by him in accordance with the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
This edition published in 2001 by
Pease International Pty Ltd
Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Email: info@peaseinternational
Web: www. peaseinternational. com
Published in Great Britain by
Orion Publishing Group
Distributed in Australia and New Zealand
by HarperCollins Ltd
Imported to Great Britain by Pease Training International Ltd.
Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone]
Email: peaseuk@compuserve. com
A CIP catalogue record for this book
is available from the British Library
Designed by Karen Stirling Printed by Griffin
Press, Netley
ISBN 0 957 81081 4
Sc/PR JaBay
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CONTENTS

Acknowledgments
Introduction 14
A Sunday Drive
Why Writing This book Was So Tough
1. Same Species, Different Worlds I9
Some Things Are Obvious

Different Job Specs

The 'Stereotype' Argument
Is it All a Male Conspiracy?
Where We (the Authors) Stand
The Nature Versus Nurture Argument
Your Human Guidebook
How We Got This Way

We Didn't Expect it to Be Like This
Why Mum and Dad Can't Help
We're Still Just Another Animal
2. Making Perfect Sense 34
Women as Radar Detectors
The Eyes Have It
Eyes in the Back of her Head?
Why Womens' Eyes See So Much
The Slippery Case of the Missing Butter
Men and Ogling
Seeing is Believing
Why Men Should Drive at Night
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Why Women Have a 'Sixth Sense'
Why Men Can't Lie to Women
She Hears Better Too...
Women Read Between the Lines
Men Can 'Hear' Direction
Why Boys Don't Listen
Men Miss the Details
The Magic of Touch
Women Are Touchy-Feely
Why Men Are So Thick-Skinned
A Taste for Life
Something in the Air
The X-Philes
Why Men Are Called 'Insensitive'
3. It's All In The Mind 57
Why We're Smarter than the Rest
How Our Brains Defend Territory
The Brains Behind Success

What's Where in the Brain

Where Brain Research Began

How the Brain is Analysed
Why Women Are Better Connected
Why Men Can Only Do One Thing at a Time!
Try the Toothbrush Test
Why We Are Who We Are
Programming the Foetus
The Brain-Wiring Test
How to Score the Test
Analysing the Result
A Final Word

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4. Talking And Listening 85
The 'Blue or Gold Shoes' Strategy Why Males
Can't Talk Proper
Boys and Their Schooling
Why Women Are Great Talkers
Why Women Need to Talk
The Hormonal Connection
Women Love to Talk
Men Talk Silently to Themselves
The Downside of Silent Talk
Women Think Aloud
The Downside of Thinking Aloud
Women Talk, Men Feel Nagged
Why Couples Fail
How Men Talk

Women Multi-Track
What Brain Scans Show
Strategies for Talking with Men
Why Men Love Big Words
Women Use Words for Reward
Women Are Indirect
Men Are Direct

What to Do About It

How to Motivate a Man to Action
Women Talk Emotively, Men Are Literal
How Women Listen
Men Listen Like Statues
How to Use the Grunt

How to Get a Man to Listen

The Schoolgirl Voice

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5. Spatial Ability: Maps, Targets And Parallel
Parking 118
How a Map Almost Led to Divorce
Sexist Thinking
The Lunch-Chaser in Action
Why Men Know Where to Go
Why Boys Hang Out in Video Arcades
Boys' Brains Develop Differently
Diana and her Furniture
Testing Spatial Ability
How Women Can Navigate
What if You Can't Find North?
The Flying Map
The Upside-Down Map
A Final Test
How to Avoid an Argument
How to Argue While Driving
How to Sell to a Woman

The Pain of Reverse Parallel Parking
Women Are Safer Drivers
How Women Were Misled
Spatial Ability in Education
Spatial Skill Occupations
Billiards and Nuclear Science
The Computer Industry
Maths and Accounting
All Things Being Equal...
Boys and their Toys
How Women Feel

Can You Improve Your Spatial Skill?
Some Useful Strategies
In Summary

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6. Thoughts, Attitudes, Emotions And Other
Disaster Areas 149
Our Different Perceptions
Boys Like Things, Girls Like People
Boys Compete, Girls Co-operate
What We Talk About

Talking Dirty
What Modern Men and Women Want
Emotion in the Brain
Women Value Relationships, Men Value Work
Why Men 'Do Things'
Why Men and Women Leave Each Other
Why Men Hate to Be Wrong
Why Men Hide Their Emotions
Why Men Hang Out with the Boys
Why Men Hate Advice
Why Men Offer Solutions
Why Stressed Women Talk
Why Stressed Men Won't Talk
Using Spatials to Solve Problems
Why Men Flick the TV Channels
How to Get Boys to Talk
When They're Both Stressed
The Complete Shut-Out
How Men Alienate Women
Why Men Can't Handle Women Being Emotional
The Crying Game
Eating Out
Shopping: Her Joy, His Terror
How to Give a Woman a Sincere Compliment

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7. Our Chemical Cocktail 176
How Hormones Control Us The
Chemicals of 'Falling in Love'
Hormonal Chemistry
Why Blondes Have High Fertility PMT
and Sex Drive
Woman's Chemical Gloom
Testosterone: Bonus or Curse?
The Case of the Flying Crockery Why
Men Are Aggressive
Why Men Work So Hard Testosterone
and Spatial Ability Why Women Hate
Reverse Parking Mathematics and
Hormones Modern Man's Hunting
Why Men Have Pot Bellies and Women Have Large
Rears

8. Boys Will Be Boys, But Not Always 197
Gays, Lesbians and Transsexuals
Homosexuality is Part of History
Is it Genetic or a Choice?
Why People Look to the Father
Can the 'Choice' Be Changed?
The Case of Identical Gay Twins
It's in their Genes
The 'Gay Gene'
Gay Fingerprints and Family Studies
Experimental Changes
It's What Happens in the Womb
The Transsexual Brain
Are We Slaves to Our Biology?

Why Gay Men Aren't All Alike

Lesbian Differences

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9. Men, Women and Sex 216
How Sex Began

Where is Sex in the Brain?
Why Men Can't Help Themselves
Why Women Are Faithful
Men Are Microwaves, Women Are Electric Ovens

Why We Argue About Sex

Sex Drive and Stress
How Much Sex Are We Having?
Sex on the Brain
How Sex Improves Your Health
Monogamy and Polygamy
Why Men Are Promiscuous
The Rooster Effect
Why Men Want Women to Dress Like Tarts
(But Never in Public)
Why Men Are Three-Minute Wonders
The Ball Game
Balls Have Brains Too
Men and Ogling
What Men Need to Do
What We Really Want, Long-Term
Why Men Want 'Just One Thing'
Why Sex Suddenly Stops
What Men Want From Sex
What Women Want From Sex
Why Men Don't Talk During Sex
The Orgasm Objective

What Turns Us On?

How Men Get a Raw Deal

The Aphrodisiac Myth
Men and their Pornography
Are There Female Sex Maniacs?

Lights Off or On?
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