Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a baby's brain

319 Pages·2014·1.59 MB·English

by  Sue Gerhardt

Why Love Matters
Why Love Matters explains why loving relationships are essential
to brain development in the early years, and how these early inter-
actions can have lasting consequences for future emotional and
physical health. This second edition follows on from the success of
the fi rst, updating the scientifi c research, covering recent fi ndings
in genetics and the mind/body connection, and including a new
chapter highlighting our growing understanding of the part also
played by pregnancy in shaping a baby’s future emotional and
physical well- being.
Sue Gerhardt focuses in particular on the wide-r anging effects
of early stress on a baby’s or toddler’s developing nervous system.
When things go wrong with relationships in early life, the depen-
dent child has to adapt; what we now know is that his or her brain
adapts too. The brain’s emotion and immune systems are particu-
larly affected by early stress and can become less effective. This
makes the child more vulnerable to a range of later diffi culties such
as depression, anti- social behaviour, addictions or anorexia, as well
as physical illness.
Why Love Matters is an accessible, lively account of the latest
fi ndings in neuroscience, developmental psychology and neurobi-
ology – research that matters to us all. It is an invaluable and
hugely popular guide for parents and professionals alike.
Sue Gerhardt has been a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in
private practice since 1997. She co- founded the Oxford Parent
Infant Project (OXPIP), a pioneering charity that today provides
psychotherapeutic help to hundreds of parents and babies in
Oxfordshire and is now the prototype of many new ‘PIPs’ around
the country. She is also the author of T he Selfi sh Society (2010).
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Why Love Matters
How affection shapes a
baby’s brain
Second edition
Sue Gerhardt
Second edition published 2015
by Routledge
27 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 2FA
and by Routledge
711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
© 2015 Sue Gerhardt
The right of Sue Gerhardt to be identifi ed as author of this work has been
asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs
and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or
utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now
known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any
information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the
publishers.
Trademark notice : Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered
trademarks, and are used only for identifi cation and explanation without intent
to infringe.
First edition published by Routledge 2004
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Gerhardt, Sue, 1953- author.
Why love matters : how affection shapes a baby’s brain / Sue Gerhardt. —
Second edition.
p. ; cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
I. Title.
[DNLM: 1. Brain—growth & development. 2. Parent-Child Relations. 3. Brain
Chemistry. 4. Emotions—physiology. 5. Infant. 6. Love. 7. Mental
Disorders—prevention & control. 8. Personality Development. WL 300]
RJ134
155.42´2—dc23
2014011544
ISBN: 978-0-415-87052-8 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-0-415-87053-5 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-1-315-75831-2 (ebk)
Typeset in New Century Schoolbook
by Refi neCatch Limited, Bungay, Suffolk
For my children, Jessica and Laurence
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Contents
Foreword by Steve Biddulph ix
Acknowledgements xii
Introduction to the second edition 1
PART 1
The foundations: babies and their brains 13
1 Before we meet them 15
2 Back to the beginning 28
3 Building a brain 48
4 Corrosive cortisol 74
Conclusion to Part 1 104
PART 2
Shaky foundations and their consequences 107
5 Trying not to feel: the links between
early emotional regulation and the immune
system 113
6 Melancholy baby: how early experience can
alter brain chemistry, leading to adult
depression 134
7 Active harm: the links between trauma in
babyhood and trauma in adult life 157
8 Torment: the links between personality
disorders and early experience 174
9 Original sin: how babies who are treated
harshly may not develop empathy for others 193
viii CONTENTS
PART 3
Too much information, not enough
solutions: where do we go from here? 219
10 ‘If all else fails, hug your teddybear’:
repairing the damage 221
11 Birth of the future 238
Bibliography 251
Index 298
Foreword
When our children were little, we once, when they were
fi nally asleep in bed, settled down to relax by watching a
movie called P arenthood . In this fi lm, Steve Martin’s char-
acter, a harassed but caring dad, had two fantasies in rapid
succession, triggered by moments with his little boy. In the
fi rst fantasy, his now grown-u p son is giving the graduation
address as the star student, and thanking his wonderful
father for all his help. He points to his dad in the audi -
torium, and the audience applauds! Then, the dad is jerked
back to reality, his little boy is misbehaving. And suddenly
he fi nds himself imagining a very different scene – chaos on
a campus as students ran from a crazed shooter in a high
tower.
‘It’s the “Martin” kid!’ they are screaming. ‘His father
was no good!’
We all do this, I think – hope for our kids, and fear for
them. But in the last few decades the fearing side of this has
reached a kind of fever pitch. It’s as if parents have never
felt quite so lost, while at the same time so plagued by
so- called experts. It all seems to get more and more complex,
and we doubt ourselves more and more.
Part of the problem, though it’s almost never admitted,
is that the experts themselves have been confused. That
happens in science sometimes, when the old models no
longer match the data, and a new way of looking is needed.
A period of confusion precedes a sudden leap to a new under-
standing, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Luckily, we
have just arrived at one of those times. In the last ten years,
helped hugely by the technology that allows us to look inside