When Someone You Love Suffers from Posttraumatic Stress: What to Expect and What You Can Do

305 Pages·2011·1.949 MB·English

by  Claudia Zayfert PhD, Jason C. DeViva PhD

Praise for
When Someone You Love Suffers
from Posttraumatic Stress
“Being in a relationship with someone with PTSD [posttraumatic stress disor-
der] is extremely hard. I was constantly wondering what I was doing wrong
and why my fiancé was upset. This informative book helped me understand
exactly what PTSD is, why it isn’t always me that is causing the problem,
and why I can’t just ‘fix it.’ It is a great resource for those looking for help in
understanding their loved ones. I learned how I not only can help my fiancé,
but also can help myself.”
—B. M.
“An easy-to-read, comprehensive, research-based resource. This book is filled
with practical advice.”
—Andrew Christensen, PhD, coauthor of
Reconcilable Differences
“Finally, a resource for all sufferers of PTSD and their families and friends. As
the wife of a veteran and an advocate who works with families dealing with
combat trauma, I have been searching for a book like this. It provides up-to-
date information that is relevant for readers worldwide. This book will save
many relationships. It’s not a book to borrow; it’s one you have to own!”
—Donna Reggett, Head Advocate, Ipswich District
Veterans’ Support Centre, Australia
“I only wish that I had had this book when my husband and I were dealing
with the full force of his PTSD last year. My husband is heading to Afghani-
stan for his third tour any day, and after reading this book, I feel more pre-
pared to handle any symptoms that may re-emerge when he returns. The
book helped me understand what he was going through and give voice to my
own feelings and struggles. The authors provide actual strategies for dealing
with the symptoms and making sure that everyone’s needs are met, not just
the survivor. Just fabulous!”
—M. C.
“Zayfert and DeViva are to be applauded for recognizing the ripple effects of
trauma on loved ones, and their important role in the recovery process. . . .
Anyone who cares about someone who has been traumatized will be grateful
for this book.”
—Candice M. Monson, PhD, Department of
Psychology, Ryerson University, Toronto, Canada

When Someone You Love Suffers
from Posttraumatic Stress

When
Someone
You Love
Suffers from
Posttraumatic
Stress
What to Expect
and What You
Can Do
Claudia Zayfert, PhD
Jason C. DeViva, PhD
THE GUILFORD PRESS
New York London
© 2011 The Guilford Press
A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc.
72 Spring Street, New York, NY 10012
www.guilford.com
All rights reserved
The information in this volume is not intended as a substitute for
consultation with healthcare professionals. Each individual’s health
concerns should be evaluated by a qualified professional.
Except as indicated, no part of this book may be reproduced, translated,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording,
or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
Last digit is print number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Zayfert, Claudia.
When someone you love suffers from posttraumatic stress : what to
expect and what you can do / Claudia Zayfert, Jason C. DeViva.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-60918-196-3 (hardcover) — ISBN 978-1-60918-065-2
(pbk.)
1. Post-traumatic stress disorder—Popular works. I. DeViva,
Jason C. II. Title.
RC552.P67Z39 2011
616.85′21—dc22
2011000368
To my mother, Ada, for being there through this
—C. Z.
To my parents, for always believing in me;
to my wife, for her unquestioning support;
and to the wives and partners of the CT NG
AVCRAD, for telling me how things really are
instead of listening quietly
—J. C. D.

Acknowledgments
We would like to acknowledge all the people who contributed to the
writing of this book. First and foremost, we thank our patients and
those who love them and support them during treatment for having
the courage to trust us with their stories and their recovery. Without
the work that patients and their loved ones have been willing to do, we
simply would not have been able to write this book. We are immensely
grateful to our editors at The Guilford Press: Kitty Moore, whose vision
made this book possible, and Christine Benton, whose insightful and
meticulous editing helped us bring it to life. Their inspiration, guid-
ance, and diligent feedback helped shape our ideas and experiences
and sharpen our focus on the needs of the loved ones who stand, quiet
and steadfast, beside trauma survivors everywhere.
Many mentors and colleagues have influenced our thinking on
trauma and its effects on those around the survivor, and contrib-
uted to our professional development over the years. We would like
to acknowledge Dharm Bains, Carolyn Black Becker, Bill Bloem, Scott
Driesenga, Candace Monson, Jacqueline Persons, Paula Schnurr, Kelly
Bemis Vitousek, and VA Connecticut’s OEF/OIF Outreach and Clinical
Team. We are also grateful to all the trauma survivors, veterans, family
members, and clinicians who have given us feedback in our clinical
practice and at the various workshops and outreach talks we have pre-
sented over the years.
Finally, we express our deepest gratitude to our loved ones, Chris
Wilcox and Kimberly DeViva, for supporting us as we labored on this
book.
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