When AA doesn't work for you : rational steps to quitting alcoho

340 Pages·1992·11.647 MB·english

by  Albert Ellis

When AA Doesn't Work For You
RATIONAL
TO
STEPS
QUITTING
ALCOHOL
Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
and
Emmett Velten, Ph.D.
Alcohol & Drug Abuse Institute Library
1107 NE 45th Street, Suite 120
Univ. of Washington, Box 354805
Seattle WA 98105-4631
[phone]
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When AA Doesn't work for You
Rational Steps
to Quitting Alcohol
Alcohol & Drug Abuse Institute Library
1107 NE 45th Street, Suite 120
Univ. of Washington, Box 354805
Seattle WA 98105-4631
[phone]
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When AA Doesn't Work for You
Rational Steps
to Quitting Alcohol
by Albert Ellis Ph.D. and Emmett velten, Ph.D.
Barricade Books Inc.
Fort Lee, New Jersey
Published by Barricade Books Inc., 150 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10011
Copyright © 1992 by The Institute for Rational-Emotive Therapy
All rights reserved.
No part of this book maybe reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted
in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, record¬
ing, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a
reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for
inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.
Printed in the United States of America.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ellis, Albert.
When AA doesn’t work for you : rational steps to quitting
alcohol / Albert Ellis and Emmett Velten.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-942637-53-4 (pbk.) : $14.95
1. Alcoholics—Rehabilitation. I. Velten, Emmett Charlton.
II. Title.
HV5278.E45 1992
362.29'286—dc20 91-38539
CIP
9 8 7 6 5 4 3
W
Contents
1 How Do You Know When Alcohol Is a
Problem? 1
2 How Do I Know When My Drinking Is a
Problem? 17
3 Denial 37
4 Alcohol and Drugs Addicted Me 53
5 Why Do People Drink Too Much and Addict
Themselves? And What Does It Take To
Change? 63
6 But Therapy Doesn’t Work! 77
7 What Are Your Self-Help Goals? How Will
You Reach Them? 95
8 Step By Step 113
9 How To Stop Self-Defeating Bs (Stinking
Thinking) 127
10 How To Dispute and Really Change Your
Stinking Thinking 139
11 Easy Does It (But Do It!): Integrating
Rational Ideas Into Your Self-Help Work 163
12 More Ways To Catch Your Stinking Thinking
and Turn Affirmations Into Actions 185
13 Other Cognitive or Thinking Techniques of
RET 197
v
Vi Contents
14 Teaching RET To Others (Twelfth-Stepping,
RET Style) 223
15 How To Get in Touch With Your Feelings
. . . and Make Them Better 233
16 How To Use RET’s Behavioral Methods 259
17 Relapse Prevention: Getting To Recovery,
Staying There, and Moving on 273
Notes 291
Appendices
A Sources of Help 297
B The Twelve Negative Emotions 299
C The Twelve Criteria of Psychological Health 303
References 307
Index 325
_
HOW DO YOU Know
When Alcohol
is a Problem?
Ever since human beings discovered alcohol thousands of
years ago, some have drunk too much of it. They’ve sabo¬
taged themselves and others. Many have killed themselves
with it. Alcohol is deadlier than all the “hard’’ drugs put
together. It kills ten times more Americans than heroin
does, and twenty times more than cocaine and crack. (Only
tobacco is deadlier.)1 The death toll is a small part of the
story, because alcohol abuse also leads to appalling suffer¬
ing and expense for us, the living. Its worst effects are child
and spouse abuse, other violence, incest, broken families,
accidents, injuries, absence at work and at home, ill
health, and higher insurance rates for us all. In addition,
hundreds of thousands of people feel scarred by having
been raised with alcohol-addicted family members.
And the heavy drinkers themselves? Not only do
many die, but so do the hopes, loves, and dreams of many
others. Every day we see on television and in the movies,
in magazines and grocery store tabloids the stories of deg¬
radation and recovery from the powers and perils of alco¬
hol. Every neighborhood—almost every block!—has its
own “meeting. ” The more we think we know about demon
1
How Do You Know when Alcohol is a Problem?
2
rum and “the disease of alcoholism, ” the more its dangers
seem to grow. And it isn’t just alcohol. Other addictions,
unheard-of mere years ago, pop up everywhere and seem
to run our lives.
Has the number of addictions increased? If so, why?
Is it the stress of modem life? Is it because our parents (and
their parents!) had alcohol problems? What about the idea
that addictions are caused by our genes?
You may have questions that hit closer to home.
People you care about—loved ones, friends, relatives,
neighbors—may drink too much. You’d like to help, but
you wonder; “If I try to, will I contribute to their prob¬
lems? Will I ‘enable’ them?” “Did I contribute to their
problems?” Maybe someone told you so. And even
showed you one of the many books that point the finger!
But how valid is that line of thinking?
Then there’s you, the reader, who may ask: “Do I
have a problem? If my relatives have drinking problems,
does that mean I have the wrong genes? Must I develop a
drinking (or drug) problem some day? Do I drink too
much? Should I (or could I) cut down on my drinking?
Why is it so hard to do so? Will I become an alcoholic?
What on earth is an alcoholic?”
Now that you think about it, with just about every¬
body claiming to be “in recovery” from familiar addictions,
like alcohol and drugs, as well as from new ones now in
vogue, like “codependency,” could you be an addict and
not even know it? Or maybe you do know it. Do you count
yourself among the recovering (but never the recovered)?
It can give you a good, warm, frizzy feeling—and a safety
net—to be part of the “in” group. But here, too, you may
have nagging questions:
“Am I addicted to recovery meetings?”
“Even if I’m not addicted to the meetings, do I
have to go to them the rest of my life?”