When a Loved One Falls Ill: How to Be an Effective Patient Advocate

209 Pages·2011·2.07 MB·English

by  Gerri Monaghan

MORE PRAISE FOR WHEN A LOVED ONE FALLS ILL
“As a trial lawyer, Brian Monaghan stood alone—GovernorGray Davis of
California once said he would rather wrestleJesse Ventura than face Brian in
trial. In 1998, at the peak of his career, he stood before a massive crowd to
receive the Association of Trial Lawyers of America’s most coveted award—the
Steve J.Sharp Public Service Award; he had just been diagnosed with
melanoma. Unbeknownst to the audience, he now faced his last case, the
greatest trial of his life, his battle for survival.The story of how Brian and his
wife, Gerri, conquered cancer should be read by anyone with a life-threatening
illness. It will make you laugh and cry. … It’s the greatest tribute to the power of
positive thinking since Norman Cousins wrote of his experiences.”
—DAVID CASEY, TRIAL LAWYER, FORMER
PRESIDENT,THE ASSOCIATION OF TRIAL LAWYERS OF
AMERICA
“By one of America’s great trial lawyers, the saga of an extraordinary,
successful battle against brain cancer. From a devastating prognosis of months
to live, this couple tamed the dragon with courage, intelligence, pluck, humor,
and yes, luck. It is a story about the industrial-medical complex of America, with
its towering strengths and its frailty. But mostly it is about the strength of two
good people who never stopped believing that they would survive to enjoy their
families, friends, and each other.This is a book for all seasons.”
—BILL GORHAM, FOUNDER, THE URBAN INSTITUTE,
WASHINGTON, D.C.
“With When a Loved One Falls Ill, Brian and Gerri Monaghan have hit one out
of the park. This is not only a great story, but it’s a winner when it comes to
helping all of us cope with cancer or any other tough medical challenge. A tip of
my hat to them both!”
—DAVE WINFIELD, BASEBALL HALL OF FAMER
WHEN A LOVED ONE FALLS ILL
How to Be an Effective Patient Advocate
by Gerri & Brian Monaghan
Workman Publishing, New York

A Note to the Reader:
The authors are not, nor do we pretend to be, experts in the medical field. The
knowledge we have acquired and the information shared with the reader is based
on our experience and our common sense. It is not, and should not be
considered, medical advice. We urge you to consult with and seek treatment
from a medical professional. Neither the authors nor the publisher shall be liable
or responsible for any loss, injury, or damage allegedly arising from any
information or suggestions contained in this book.
Copyright © 2009, 2011 by Brian Monaghan and Gerri Monaghan All rights
reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced—
mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying—
without written permission of the publisher. Published simultaneously in
Canada by Thomas Allen & Son Limited.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
eISBN 9780761166498
Originally published as The Power of Two, now revised and updated.
Cover photo by Michael Spengler Workman books are available at special
discounts when purchased in bulk
for premiums and sales promotions as well as for fund-raising or educational
use. Special editions or book excerpts can also be created to specification.
For details, contact the Special Sales Director at the address below or send
an e-mail to [email protected].
WORKMAN PUBLISHING COMPANY, INC.
225 Varick Street
New York, NY 10014-4381
To each of you who has begun a journey of your own;
you are in our thoughts and our prayers.
Acknowledgments
Because our book is a chronicle of our last thirteen years, space doesn’t allow us
to give thanks and recognition to all of those who have helped us through this
journey. If you are mentioned within these pages, you know that you have
played a significant part in our journey. “Thank you” isn’t adequate to express
what we feel, but we truly do thank you, and again, we thank you.
To our family, most especially our children, Kathi and Tom Vaughn, Patrick
and Roseanne Monaghan, Todd and Jennifer Wortmann, and Mark and Sharon
Wortmann, and our grandchildren, Dylan and Kyra Vaughn, Jake Monaghan,
Trevor and Cassidy Wortmann, and Riley and Reagan Wortmann: there is
simply no way we could have gotten through these last thirteen years without
your love and support. You have made the fight worthwhile.
To Gerri’s Verge family siblings, Carol, Marion, Bill, Helen, and Diane:
although thousands of miles separate us, I always know that you “have my
back.” To Susan and Steve Parker: you were with us every step of the way, and
it goes without saying that you hold a special place in our hearts. Our love and
special thanks to “our” cousins, Don and Carol O’Connell, as well as to friends
of old, Pat and Jack Durliat, Arch and Carol Woodard, and Clark and Denise
Hodgson. A toast to The Lads for always being there, and especially to the first
traveling group: Vince Bartolotta, Larry Broderick, Kim Broderick, Dennis
Broderick, Terry Broderick, Tim Broderick, Ed Chapin, Brian Forbes, Chuck
Fox, Bill Hall, Noel Hall, John Lynch, Mickey McGuire, Dave Monahan, Mike
Neil, Terry O’Malley, Mike Reidy, Leo Sullivan, Mike Thorsnes, and Bob
Vaage.
And thanks to each of you who at some critical point in our battle stepped in
to offer your love and support: Kingsley Aikens, Russ Block, Kim Broderick,
Dave and Lisa Casey, Toni and Mark Cincotta, John and Mary Clark, Steve and
Rita Conway, Jim Eckman, Emily Einhorn, Lou and Judy Ferrero, Joe and Geri
Waranke Kennedy, Jerry and Nancy Kohlberg, Judge Gerry and Laura Lewis,
Cathy Lynch, Larry and Stacey Lucchino, Ceci Doty MacNamara, Jeanie and
Jim Milliken, Dan and Mary Mulvihill, Debbie Malloy, Elaine and Rich
Murphy, Cathy Philips, Sandra Rockhill, Milt and Maria Silverman, and Sue
Young Vaage. A special thanks to Gerri’s empathetic listening post, Judith
Oakes. Brian’s assistants deserve special recognition: Lauren Berry, Shawna
Songer, and the best of the best, Vanessa Marshall Praggastis. Brian’s thanks for
their understanding to the Boards on which he serves: the San Diego Padres,
Hastings College of the Law, the American Ireland Fund. We recognize and will
always miss two valiant warriors who put up a great fight yet still lost the battle,
Judy Keep and Bob MacNamara.
A special thank you to John for his generosity in helping us donate our book
to cancer patients across the country.
Our thanks to our agent, Linda Chester, whose guidance was instrumental in
opening doors for us and for helping us understand the process, and to Karen
Olson, who helped give shape to our story and was truly responsible for writing
the all-important book proposal. Our thanks to our “book doctor,” Kyra Ryan,
who helped us to tell our story in our own words, yet was able to help craft those
words into a book that will be more easily understood by those who need it most
—patients and their advocates. Our thanks to each of the fantastic members of
the Workman Publishing team, and especially to Mary Wilkinson, our line
editor, Janet Vicario, our book designer, production editor Irene Demchyshyn,
and typesetters Barbara Peragine and Jarrod Dyer. And to Susan Bolotin, who
believed in the value of our story, and not only understood the role of the
advocate but became one on our behalf.