What do you say after you say hello?: The psychology of human destiny

484 Pages·1972·46.235 MB·English

by  Eric Berne

Y7711 * $1.95 *|£J A BANTAM BOOK
The New
Runaway Bestseller
Gamebysthe Author of
People Play
and Originator of
I'Wm Q.hKt.h-eYIodaeuas'rinetO.K.!
do you
i
you
after
hello
Here are just a few
of the fascinating and
valuable things you
will learn in this book:
The all-important difference between
what your parents say and what they sig-
nal. It is their unconscious cues that form
the basis for your script.
How a child uses "Martian" thinking
to interpret his parents' words—with unin-
tended, and often astonishing, results!
The "counterscript." Some people fol-
"
low for years a false life plan based on V '
what their parents told them long ago. \y
—
But the script the way their parents v
actually programmed them — may spring P
back at any time.
The "antiscript." To live your antiscript,
you simply take your script and defiantly Q
turn it around. (But if you think this means <fc
freedom, think again!) J
The five elements that are always pres- v u\
ent in any genuine script. \ \\
Whatyourgiven namemay reveal about
the life script your parents had in mind
foryou.
-
Fairy tales the classic scripts. Eric
Berne's intriguing interpretations of "Little
Red Riding Hood," "Sleeping Beauty,"
"Cinderella," and otherfamiliartalesfilled
with characters whose living counterparts
pass you on the street every day. (There
are some absorbing case histories by way
ofillustration.)
Your life script and your life span —
the amazingly potent influence your script
can have on how many years you will live.
(Continued on inside backcover)
WHAT DO YOU SAY
AFTER YOU SAY HELLO?
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF HUMAN DESTINY
Eric Berne's extraordinary new bestseller is a
book about the scripts that p—eople follow com-
pulsively throughout their lives as if they had no
more choice than the characters in a tragedy, or a
melodrama, or a farce.
—
YOUR LIFE SCRIPT AND
WHAT IT DOES TO YOU
As a—psychiatrist, Dr. Beme found that each
person—under the powerful influence of his
parents writes in early childhood the script that
will govern the general course of his life.
Your script dictates what kind of person you
will marry . . . howmany children you will have
. . . eventhe kind ofbed youwill die in, andwho
willbepresentwhenyoudo. Itdetermineswhether
you will be a winner or a loser, a spendthrift or a
skinflint, atowerofstrengthoradoomedalcoholic.
Some people have scripts that call for them to
fail in their professions, or to be repeatedly disap-
pointed in love, or to be chronic invalids. Some
have scripts that end in suicide.
WHAT DO YOU SAY AFTER YOU SAY
HELLO?demonstrateshowlifescripts getwritten,
and how to find out what kind of script you have.
If your sc—ript is a bad one, it shows you how to
break out so that you may begin at last to live a
life of true freedom and fulfillment.

What
Do You
\
Ck
After You K *
Say
Hello?
The Psychology
of Human Destiny
Eric Berne, M. D.
/
Thislow-pricedBantamBook
hasbeen completely resetin a typeface
designedforeasy reading, and wasprinted
from newplates. Itcontainsthe complete
textoftheoriginalhard-coveredition.
NOTONEWORDHASBEEN OMITTED.
WHATDOYOUSAY AFTER YOUSAYHELLO?
ABantamBook/publishedbyarrangementwith
GrovePress, Inc.
PRINTING HISTORY
Grove Press edition publishedJune 1972
5 printingsthroughJanuary 1973
Bantam edition published May1973
2ndprinting
3rdprinting
4thprinting
5thprinting
6thprinting
7thprinting
8thprinting
Copyright©1972,AlClitryigNhatstiroensaelrvBeda.nk,BeverlyHills,
California;Robin Way;Janice WayFarlinger.
Thisbook may not be reproducedin whole or in part, by
mimeographoranyothermeans, withoutpermission.
Forinformation address: GrovePress, Inc.,
53East 11th Street, New York, N.Y. 10003
Publishedsimultaneously in the UnitedStates and Canada
Bantam Books are published by Bantam Books, Inc., a National
General company. Its trade-mark, consisting of the words "Bantam
Books" and the portrayal of a bantam, is registered in the United
States Patent Office and in other countries. Marca Registrada.
Bantam Books, Inc., 666 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10019.
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
CONTENTS
Table of Figures xiii
Preface xv
Semantics xvii
part I General Considerations 1
chapter one Introduction 3
A What DoYou Say After You Say Hello? 3
B How Do You Say Hello? 3
C An Illustration 5
D The Handshake 8
E Friends 10
F The Theory 10
References 10
chapter two Principles of TransactionalAnalysis 11
A
Structural Analysis 11
B Transactional Analysis 14
C Time Structuring 21
D Scripts 25
Notes & References 26
part n Parental Programing 29
chapter three Human Destiny 31
A
Life Plans 31
Magda 31
Delia 33
Mary 34
B On Stage and Off Stage 35
C Myths and Fairy Tales 39
The Story of Europa 40
Little Red Riding Hood 42
A
Martian Reaction 43
A Little Red Riding Hood Script 45
D
Waiting for Rigor Mortis 47
The Waiting for Rigor Mortis Script 49
The Story of Sleeping Beauty 50
E The Family Drama 51
F Human Destiny 53
VI CONTENTS
G Historical 56
Notes & References 59
chapter four Prenatal Influences 63
A Introductory 63
B Ancestral Influences 66
C The Conceptive Scene 69
D
Birth Position 71
E Birth Scripts 76
F Forenames and Surnames 77
Notes & References 79
chapter five Early Developments 83
A Early Influences 83
B Convictions and Decisions 84
—
C Positions The Pronouns 85
D Winners and Losers 89
E Three-Ha—nded Positions 90
F Positions The Predicates 91
G Selection of the Script 95
References 96
chapter six The Plastic Years 97
A
Parental Programing 97
B Thinking Martian 100
Butch 100
C The Little Lawyer 104
D The Script Apparatus 106
Notes & References 109
chapter seven The Script Apparatus 110
A The Script Payoff 110
B The Injunction 113
C The Come-On 114
D The Electrode 115
E Bags and Things 117
F The Prescription 118
G
Parental Patterns 120
H The Demon 122
I Permission 123
CONTENTS Vll
J The Internal Release 125
Chuck 126
K The Script Equipment 128
Clementine 128
L Aspirations and Conversations 130
M
Winners 131
N Does Everyone Have a Script? 131
The Antiscript 132
P Summary 133
Notes & References 134
chapter eight Later Childhood 136
A Plots and Heroes 136
B Rackets 137
C Trading Stamps 139
D Illusions 147
E Games 156
F The Persona 158
G The Family Culture 159
Notes & References 164
chapter nine Adolescence 166
A Pastimes 166
B New Heroes 167
C The Totem 167
D New Feelings 168
E Physical Reactions 169
F TheFrontRoomand theBackRoom 170
G
Script and Antiscript 171
H The World Image 172
1 Sweatshirts 176
You Can't Trust Anybody 178
Doesn't Everybody? 180
References 182
chapter ten Maturity and Death 183
A
Maturity 183
B The Mortgage 184
C Addictions 185
D The Drama Triangle 186
VU1 CONTENTS
E Life Expectancy 188
F Old Age 190
G The Death Scene 194
H The Gallows Laugh 195
I The Posthumous Scene 196
J The Tombstone 197
K The Testament 198
Notes & References 198
part in The Script in Action 201
chapter eleven TypesofScripts 203
A Winners, Nonwinners, and Losers 203
B Script Time 205
C Sex and Scripts 207
D Clock Time and Goal Time 210
References 212
chapter twelve Some Typical Scripts 213
A Little Pink Riding Hood, or The Waif 213
B Sisyphus, or There I Go Again 216
C Little Miss Muffet, or You Can't Scare Me 218
D Old Soldiers Never Die, or Who Needs Me? 221
E TheDragon-Slayer, or DaddyKnowsBest 223
F Sigmund, or If You Can't Do It One Way,
Try Another 224
G Florence, orSeeItThrough 225
H Tragic Scripts 227
Notes& References 228
chapter thirteen Cinderella 230
A Cinderella's Background 230
B The Story of Cinderella 231
C Interlocking Scripts 233
D Cinderellain Real Life 236
E AftertheBall IsOver 238
F Fairy Tales and Real People 240
Notes & References 242
chapter fourteen How Is the Script Possible? 244
A The Plastic Face 245