What Causes Anger - Seasons Therapy

38 Pages·2013·9.36 MB·English

A N G E R
M A N A G E M E N T
W O R K B O O K
WHAT CAUSES

Some common causes of
ANGER?
anger include:
The causes vary from person to person

and from situation to situation.
Stress
Anger affects your body.
Stress related to work, family,
When you get angry, your body creates
health and money problems may
energy.
make you feel anxious and irritable.
Here’s what happens:

• Adrenaline and other chemicals
Frustration
enter your bloodstream.
You may get angry if you fail to
• Your heart pumps faster.
reach a goal or feel as if things are
• Your blood flows more quickly.
out of your control.
• Your muscles tense.

Fear
Everyone gets angry sometimes.
Anger is a natural response to
Handling anger well can help you:
threats of violence, or to physical or
• Overcome problems
verbal abuse.
• Reach your goals

• Stay healthy
Annoyance
• Feel better about yourself
You may react in anger to minor

irritations and daily hassles.
But too much anger or

uncontrolled anger can cause
Disappointment
problems.
Anger often results when
Examples:
expectations and desires aren’t met.
• Problems in your relationships with

family and friends
Resentment
• Problems at work
You may feel angry when you’ve
• Legal and financial troubles
been hurt, rejected or offended.
• Physical and mental health
problems
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POORLY
But ignoring anger or giving
HANDLED
up control over it can lead to:
ANGER CAN

CAUSE
Physical health problems
These may include:
MANY
PROBLEMS. • Headaches
• Sleep problems
Some people try to pretend they aren’t
angry. Other people feel as if their
• Digestive problems
anger is out of control. They don’t
believe they can handle it. • High blood pressure

• Heart problems
Depression
Anger that’s kept bottled up can affect
your thoughts and feelings. You may Poor decision making
begin to feel unhappy and lose interest in Anger can make it hard to think clearly.
things you used to enjoy, such as You may have trouble concentrating or
hobbies, work, friends or sex. may use poor judgment. This can lead to
car crashes, injuries and other problems.
Problems at work
If you blow up on the job, co-workers, Problems with relationships
supervisors and customers may develop If you can’t control your anger, you may
a negative impression of you. Your end up insulting, criticizing or
career may suffer as a result. threatening those close to you. They
may respond with anger or resentment.
Alcohol or other drug problems Getting angry may also keep you from
telling your loved ones how you really
You may use alcohol or other drugs to
feel.
try to:

• Dull anger and other strong
Low self-esteem
feelings
If you have trouble managing anger, you
• Forget about the negative
may feel bad about yourself. You may
consequences of an angry outburst.
feel as if you have little control over
But using alcohol or other drugs won’t
what happens.
solve any problems. And it usually

results in more anger and problems.
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W H A T S E TS Y O U O F F ?
Different things trigger a person’s anger. Some common triggers are listed below.
Check the ones that trigger your anger. Use the blank spaces to fill in your own
triggers.

I feel angry when I: I feel angry when faced with these
□ Think I am treated unfairly events or situations:
□ Am embarrassed □ Traffic jams and encounters with other
□ Feel ignored drivers
□ Don’t get credit for something I’ve □ Conflict at work
done □ Family arguments
□ Have to follow orders □ Child misbehavior or temper tantrums
□ Fail at something or don’t do □ Waiting in line at the bank, store, etc.
something well □ Financial problems
□ Feel helpless or out of control □ Yelling or loud noises
□ Get jealous □ Mistakes or errors
□ _____________________________ □ Wasted time
□ _____________________________ □ Losing a game or a contest
□ _____________________________ □ Name-calling or teasing
□ _____________________________ □ Child abuse
□ Prejudice toward anyone
I feel angry when people: □ Mistreatment of animals
□ insult me □ ____________________________
□ criticize me or my work □ ____________________________
□ don’t listen to me disagree with me □ ____________________________
□ don’t work as hard as I do □ ____________________________
□ lie to me
□ tell me what to do
□ are rude or inconsiderate Once you’re aware of things that set you off,
□ are late you can work to change the way you respond
□ don’t act or feel the way I think they to them.
should
□ _____________________________
□ _____________________________
□ _____________________________

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KEEP AN “ANGER
JOURNAL.”
Use these 2 pages to start your journal. Over the next

several days keep track of things that trigger your anger.

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BE AWARE OF When you get angry, ask yourself:

HIDDEN ANGER.
Are my level of anger and my reaction
out of proportion to the trigger?
Sometimes what triggers your
Do you seem to overreact to minor
anger isn’t the only thing
annoyances? Perhaps there is something else
causing angry feelings.
on your mind that’s making you angry.

What are your warning signs?
Am I directing my anger at an
Think about how you feel when you get angry.
innocent person?
Check the warning signs you often have when
Are you really angry with the person who
you get angry. Write in signs that aren’t listed.
triggered your feelings? For example, suppose

you have a disagreement with your boss. It
My warning signs are:
bothers you all day, but you say nothing.
□ Tense muscles
Later, you let your anger out by blowing up at
□ Tight fists
your partner or child.
□ Clenched jaw

□ Sweaty palms
Am I taking something personally?
□ Racing heartbeat
Learning to deal well with anger means
□ Fast breathing
learning not to take problems or arguments
□ Trembling or feeling shaky
personally.
□ Feeling warm or flushed

□ Upset stomach
Is this how I usually respond in
□ Loud or mean voice
□ __________________________ similar situations?
□ __________________________ You may respond with anger in certain
□ __________________________ situations because that’s what you’ve always
□ __________________________ done. You may have learned this behavior
□ __________________________ growing up. But you can change the way you
□ __________________________ react.

Am I trying to take charge with my
Talk with your health-care provider. anger?
Certain physical and mental health problems, Anger is a common reaction when a person
such as Alzheimer’s disease or brain injury, feels as if he or she is losing control. But the
may increase your anger. And handling anger best way to show control is to react calmly and
poorly can lead to health problems. Talk to manage your feelings.
your health-care provider about your anger and
how it affects you. Have regular checkups.

HOW ANGER CAN The results of uncontrolled
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HELP YOU anger may include:

Learning to recognize and express

anger appropriately can make a big
Verbal attacks or physical
difference in your life.
assaults

You may lose control and attack others
Anger can help you:
physically or verbally. For example, you

may:
Reach goals
§ Throw or break things
Trying to reach a goal can be frustrating.
Frustration can lead to anger, which in § Yell, insult or threaten
turn can motivate you to work harder.
§ Slap, shove, kick or hit.

Communicate with others

Talking about your anger can help keep
Abuse
it from building up. You may release
tension and enjoy better communication Tension and frustration may build.
with family, friends and co-workers. Family members may become your
target, even if your anger has little to do
Solve problems with them. The abuse may be:
§ Physical
Anger is a sign that something is wrong.
It may serve as a warning for you to
§ Verbal
think about your feelings and attitudes.
§ Sexual

Handle emergencies

and protect yourself
Anger can cause an immediate burst of Other criminal behavior
strength and energy. This allows you to Anger is often a driving force behind:
react quickly if you’re in danger. § Destruction of property

§ Murder

§ Other violent crimes
You can find ways to help anger
work for you – not against you.

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D EA LI N G W I TH S O M EO N E
E L S E ’ S A N G E R
Here are some tips: Meditation
Keep your cool. This can help calm you and clear your mind of
anger. Follow these steps:
Don’t answer anger with anger.
1. Find a quite place. Wear loose,
Remember that anger can lead people to
comfortable clothing. Sit or lie down.
say things they don’t really mean.
Criticism, threats or name-calling won’t 2. Close your eyes. Take slow, deep
help resolve the situation.
breaths.

3. Concentrate on a single word, object or
Don’t take it personally.

Try to understand why the person is calming thought.
angry. His or her feelings may have
4. Don’t worry if other thoughts or images
little or nothing to do with you.
enter your mind while you are doing

Listen to the person. this. Just relax and return to what you
Sometime an angry person just needs to
were focusing on.
“blow off steam”. Let the person
5. Continue until you feel relaxed and
express his or her feelings. Don’t
interrupt. Maintain eye contact to show refreshed.
you are listening.

Deep-breathing exercises
Think of solutions together. These can help keep anger from getting out of
If you’re having a conflict with control. Follow these steps:
1. Sit comfortably or lie on your back.
someone, try to find solutions that you
can both agree on. Do this only when 2. Breathe in slowly and deeply for a count
you are both calm.
of 5.

3. Hold your breath for a count of 5.
Don’t take chances.
§ If you’re worried about your 4. Breathe out slowly for a count of 5,
safety, get help right away. Try to pushing out all the air.
leave yourself an escape path.
5. Repeat several times until you feel calm
§ If the person has a weapon, seek
and relaxed.
safety at the first opportunity.
Don’t confront or try to restrain
him or her.
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SOURCES OF
HELP
You don’t have to face your problems
alone. Let others know that you want
help controlling your anger. They can
provide valuable support and
encouragement.

Consider contacting:

Your health-care provider
Hotlines
Your health-care provider can give you a
Hotlines may provide emergency counseling
physical exam and suggest relaxation
to help you control angry feelings or behavior.
techniques. He or she may also prescribe
Check your local phone book.
medications for related health conditions.

Mental health professionals and
Employee assistance programs (EAPs)
mental health centers
These may offer referrals or counseling to help
These provide a variety of services, including employees deal with issues like alcohol or
outpatient treatment and support groups. other drug problems, job stress and
relationship problems.

Counselors, family therapists or social
workers
They can help you learn ways to manage Religious leaders
anger, control stress and solve problems. They may offer advice and reassurance – or
just listen when you need someone to talk to.

Asking for help is a sign of strength
–not weakness.

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DEVELOP AN Follow these steps:

ANGER
1. Set positive goals and a time
MANAGEMENT
frame
PLAN. Your goals should address both a specific
behavior and your reaction. For example,
Now that you’ve learned more about over the next month, your goal could be to
anger and how you respond to it, you communicate your feelings using “I”
can develop your own plan for managing statements whenever you get angry at
work.
your anger.

You can set different goals for yourself.
But don’t try to meet too many at one time.
You’re less likely to reach them.

2. Get support
Tell family, friends and co-workers about
your goals. They can offer encouragement
and advice. Seek out their help if you’re
having trouble with your anger. Or
consider seeing a mental health
professional.

3. Track your Progress
Consider keeping a daily log or journal.
Make note of times when you avoid getting
angry or handle anger well. Seeing
improvement over time can keep you from
feeling discouraged.

4. Reward yourself!
Treat yourself when you reach a goal or get
halfway there. For example, go to a movie
or enjoy a special meal.

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