We The People's Guide to Divorce: A Do-It-Yourself Guide to Reaching an Agreement with Your Spouse and Getting a Hassle-Free Divorce

242 Pages·2005·1.79 MB·English

by  Ira Distenfield

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We The People’s
G U I D E TO
Divorce
A Do-It-Yourself Guide
To Reaching an Agreement with
Your Spouse and Getting a
Hassle-Free Divorce
Ira and Linda Distenfield
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
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12634_Distenfield_ffirs.r.qxp 7/5/05 10:03 AM Page i
We The People’s
Guide to
Divorce
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We The People’s
G U I D E TO
Divorce
A Do-It-Yourself Guide
To Reaching an Agreement with
Your Spouse and Getting a
Hassle-Free Divorce
Ira and Linda Distenfield
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
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This book is printed on acid-free paper. (cid:1)(cid:1)(cid:1)
Copyright © 2005 by Ira and Linda Distenfield. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
ISBN-13 978-0-471-73045-3
ISBN-10 0-471-73045-9
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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CONTENTS
Foreword Bill Lockyer vii
About the Authors ix
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction 1
Chapter 1: “I Want a Divorce!” 9
Chapter 2: Grounds (Reasons) for Divorce 29
Chapter 3: Preparing for Divorce 51
Chapter 4: Alimony, Child Support, and Custody 77
Chapter 5: Divorce Court 105
Chapter 6: Retirement Benefits, Health Care, and
Your Children 133
Chapter 7: Odds and Ends in (Marriage and) Divorce 155
Chapter 8: Frequently Asked Questions 175
Chapter 9: Definition of Terms 191
Appendix A: Links to State Divorce Courts 201
Appendix B: We The People Store Addresses 205
Appendix C: Worksheets 211
Index 219
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FOREWORD
A
ccess to information is essential to life. Access to the legal system often supports a
successfullife. As Attorney General of California, I am a great admirer of We The Peo-
ple and the progress this enterprise has made to significantly improve access to the legal
system for all Americans. We The People has led the way by being dedicated to arming peo-
ple with the information to understand difficult legal situations and the role that certain legal
documents can play in their lives.
My ability to access quality information has allowed me to make good decisions through-
out my personal and professional life. That’s the whole point of information: It permits you to
solve problems and be a smart and confident decision maker. Information educates, trains,
prepares, and opens new doors. It imparts knowledge; and it can also console, warn, and
advise. I like to think of access to information as a basic necessity alongside food and water,
and therefore it should be easy, inexpensive, and inviting. Unfortunately, it’s not always that
way. When it comes to the legal system, the gap between those privileged to access and use
the law to their advantage and those who cannot is real for many Americans. And for the more
than 1 million Americans who file for divorce each year, facing the courts can be an over-
whelming task.
As Attorney General, I have witnessed the law’s positive impact on people’s lives, but I’ve
also watched the legal system grow more complex and expensive every day. For too many
Americans, the legal system is an 800-pound gorilla that sits on the other side of the table.
One can have all the technology that money can buy and yet still feel completely cut off from
the legal system, which is a necessary part to getting a divorce...or an annulment or legal
separation, and even determining paternity.
Every day, millions of Americans need to complete and file basic legal documents with the
courts. (You are three times more likely to find yourself in a court of law than in a hospital.)
Many of these documents don’t require an attorney or a fancy degree to complete. I understand
the need for competent independent counsel when necessary, but I also support the right to
manage one’s own legal affairs. Ira and Linda Distenfield founded We The People with a sim-
ple mission: to serve people who need to make uncontested legal transactions but who don’t
know how to approach the legal system and who have neither the resources nor the desire to
hire a lawyer. What I like best is seeing people served regardless of wealth or privilege.
This book helps you navigate the complex and daunting procedures for filing for divorce
while providing do-it-yourself assistance for clerical preparation and court filing. Whether
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FOREWORD
viii
you can afford legal representation or not, this book equips you with knowledge and skills
required by the courts for understanding and completing your own divorce filing, including
how to reach certain agreements with your spouse to minimize the pain and costs related to
divorce.
Twenty years ago few people had personal computers; no one had heard of the Internet;
no one had e-mail or a way to carry a library of information on a computer chip that you keep
in a handheld device the size of your wallet. Fast-moving technology has given us ever more
access to more information, has changed our expectations, and has changed our way of think-
ing. The impact that widespread information has had on Americans is evident: Americans feel
better equipped and comfortable making pivotal life decisions, such as entering the housing
market, changing careers, or starting a small business. Why? Information empowers people
to change their lives for the better and make hard decisions. It is the ultimate equalizer.
My experiences have taught me about responsibility, leadership, and the value of being an
independent thinker. I prepare relentlessly and always encourage others to do the same
through studying, reading, and learning independently. My advice for anyone contemplating
divorce or going through a divorce is to gather as much information as you can before, dur-
ing, and after the process. Only then can you be assured that you’re doing your absolute best
to plan for and safeguard your future. You must also keep the best interests of your children
in mind.
Success is not measured by status or wealth, but by how we deal with the challenges we
face, by how we overcome those challenges through the decisions we make, and by the steps
we take to move forward in our lives. This book allows you not only to access and gain infor-
mation, but to use its information to make sense of a difficult situation and take control of
your life. You are entitled to the law’s help in restarting your personal life as much as anyone
else. Be prepared for whatever course you take—with or without a lawyer by your side—and
you’ll welcome the rewards that await you in your future.
Bill Lockyer
California Attorney General