Walking on Custard & the Meaning of Life: A Guide for Anxious Humans

330 Pages·2015·3.48 MB·English

by  Neil Hughes

Walking On Custard
& the Meaning of Life
by Neil Hughes
Walking on Custard & the Meaning of Life
Copyright © 2015 Neil Hughes
The right of Neil Hughes to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him, in accordance
with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,
without the prior written consent of the publishers.
Published by Enthusiastic Whim
www.enthusiasticwhim.com
Kindle edition ISBN: 978-0-9931668-2-2
Featuring cover art by Tom Humberstone
www.tomhumberstone.com
Chapter opening art by Tom Humberstone & Neil Hughes
Unprofessional doodles by Neil Hughes
"You're Beautiful" © Kelly, Johnston, Emmausongs/IMRO 1999, recorded by Emmaus from the album
"Closer Nearer", excerpt quoted with kind permission.
"I’m Intense" © Smith, Luke. Originally published with Beautiful Jo Records 2000, recorded by Luke
Smith from the album "It’s Not Wrong It’s Just Different", excerpt quoted with kind permission.
"Time Trades" © Lewis, Jeffrey. Rough Trade Records 2011, recorded by Jeffrey Lewis from the album "A
Turn in the Dream-Songs", excerpt quoted with kind permission.
This book does not contain professional advice, on mental health, psychology, or on any subject
whatsoever. It is not intended as a substitute for advice of any kind. If expert advice is needed, appropriate
qualified professionals should be consulted.
Except for stories from the author’s own life, this is a work of fiction. All names, characters, businesses,
places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious
manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Where stories are based on the author’s own life, names, identifying details, events and incidents have been
changed, to protect the privacy of individuals, and also for entertainment purposes.
The author gratefully acknowledges the creators of the following typefaces, which were used in the
production of some artwork:
‘Euphoria Script’ and ‘Condiment’, available under the SIL Open Font Licence, and ‘Florante at Laura’
(“Nyek!”), ‘Quikhand’ (no named licence), ‘Belligerent Madness’ (Font Monkey) and ‘Drafting Table’
(paid licence).
For Dad, who would have been very proud.

And for Mum, who has selfishly given me more patience and love than I could
ever repay, thus leaving me forever in her debt.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I am lucky to have had the support of many wonderful people in taking this
book from initial idea to completion. In no particular order, I’d like to publicly
thank:
Alasdair Dawson, Ellen Spaeth, Jon Matthias, Caitlin Watson, Tina
Hannemann, Oscar Robson, Paul Dormand, Joshua Keel, Steph Pickerill,
Pauline Potter, Lily Rattray and all the various Wrights and Hugheses.
Many thanks to each of you for your encouragement, ideas, comments,
corrections and general excellence.
The fantastic cover and outlines for the chapter art are courtesy of the
magnificently talented Tom Humberstone. Please don’t blame him for any of the
dodgy illustrations I attempted myself.
Thanks also to Glenn Thomas Davis, Ray Lardie (and all at the Puttytribe),
Albert Johnson and John Rogers, who are always there to provide morale when
hope fades.
Special acknowledgements must go to Bob Ginger and Gemma Scott for their
expert assistance in eliminating errors and ensuring that no sentence ever trailed
off without

… but seriously, despite all this hard work it is impossible to entirely avoid
mistakes, and so I can only apologise in advance for any errors that have
accidentally crept in, be they typographical, factual, or simply terrible jokes.[1]
Walking On Custard
& the Meaning of Life