Table Of ContentAIKIDO
in Everyday Life
BLUE SNAKE BOOKS
BERKELEY,CALIFORNIA
Terry Dobson
and
Victor Miller
AIKIDO
in Everyday Life
GitlinfJ in to Get Your Wa"
12 13 14 15 16 MALLOY 16 15 14 13 12
ISBN 13:978-1-55643-151-7
PLEASE NOTE: The creators and publishers of this book disclaim
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tices,exercises,and advice contained herein. To reduce the chance of
injury or any other harm, the reader should consult a professional
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tive arts, health, or exercise program. The instructions and advice
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Cover photograph
by Jan Watson
Cover design by Paula Morrison
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Copyright
© 1978,1993
by Terry Dobson
and Victor
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Dedicated to the memory of
MORIHEI UESHIBA
PART 1.BEGINNING ATTACK-TICS
I. Losers Weepers
3
II. Conflict
17
III. There's More to Conflict than Fight or Flight.
28
IV.Your Conflict Options
36
V.Centering
77
VI. Aiki
86
VII. Aiki and the Circular Attack
109
VIII. A Day in the Life
123
PART 2. ADVANCED ATTACK-TICS
IX. Geometry: The Shape of Conflict.
147
X. Multiple Attack
181
XI. But Isn't It Hard to Change?
201
XII. Now You Try It
212
XIII. The Most Hostile Aggressor of All
237
XlV. The Spirit of Attack-tics and the Attack-tics
of Spirit
246
Attack-tics Reminders
253
Preface to the Second Edition
ix
Introduction
xi
Contents
In 1977,when this book was written, strut and muscle were
"in" in the United States. Books titled Winning Through
Intimidation and Taking Care of Number One topped the
best-seller lists, and IBM's chest-thumping slogan for their
salespeople
was "It's hard to be humble when you know
you're the best!" The art of Aikido was virtually unknown
outside of Japan, and the idea that precepts deriving from a
martial art (much less a martial art devoted to peace) could
illuminate the conduct of one's daily affairs was too radical
a notion for most publishers to consider seriously.Add to that
Aikido's insistence on responsibility for the protection .of
one's adversary and it seems an absolute miracle the book
got published when it did.
As it was, the publisher had a number of "considerations."
For example, if we were going to espouse such far-out atti-
tudes as the restoration of harmony is the goal of all conflict
and the best "victory" is the one in which everyone wins then,
by God, we would do it systematically. "Systems" were a big
deal in those days, and Aikido was not. We were told to come
up with a system. This requirement caused me great concern.
Morihei Ueshiba had created this incomparable model of
conflict resolution. Who was I to come along and try to shoe-
Preface to the
Second
Edition
Terry Dobson
Vermont, 1992
horn the principles he had so laboriously uncovered into a
"system" to please somebody else? Then I remembered the
many times O-Sensei had encouraged me to write about Aiki-
do. "You must explain to the people of your country what
you have learned by my side," he would say, "You must do
your best to spread non-violence." So, with that as our rubric,
Victor Miller and I sat down and worked out the "Attack-tics
System." The publisher liked "Attack-tics"-the
word had a
tight, no-nonsense ring to it, just the thing to off-set the blue-
sky babble about "harmony" and "confluence." Now, sixteen
years later, "Attack-tics" is unknown and Aikido is a house-
hold word. It is as it should be. Still, the spirit of the book
is true, its premises are sound, and I feel it should be re-
published. The reader is asked to excuse the outdated tone
of the book-the
attempt to be timely-and
penetrate to the
intent of the words. The feedback from the first printing has
shown me that these words have changed lives for the better
-perhaps
they can change yours.
Preface to the Second Edition
x
It would be relatively easy to write a book about harmony,
singing the praises of cooperation and talking about the mar-
vels of pacifism. We could all soothe one another and be
thankful that conflict had been banished from our lives. No
more squabbles with our children about going to bed, no
more rages at the person who squeezes ahead of us in line,
no more arguments with our friends about who did what to
whom and why. In the blink of an eye we'd transform our
existences into idyllic frolics on some pearl-white beach, at-
tended by adoring friends who want nothing more than to
share our peace and tranquility. (If we were travel agents and
knew where this fantasy picture could be realized, we
wouldn't have to write a book at all.)
But our lives are not like that. No one's is, regardless of
social standing, financial leverage, or talent. Every day brings
us painful conflicts, and there are days when we are the
architects of other people's conflicts. We scold our children
when they refuse to eat dinner, we swear at the other driver
who claims he had the right of way, our bosses yell at us
because they're mad at somebody else, we tell our wives or
husbands they did this and that wrong, the cop claims the
light was red, not yellow, and by the time we're ready to pack
'{
Introduction
We yearn for that elusive harmony, that peaceful beach.
Unable to find it, we think there must be something wrong
with us, and so off we troop to our psychoanalytic couches,
self-help emporia, or instant-acting cure-alls. We drink a bit
too much to blunt the pain of conflict. Or, if the pain becomes
too great, we end it all.
All this tension about conflict is not really our fault, be-
cause we've never been told three very important things:
One, conflict is neither bad nor good, it simply is; two, con-
flict is absolutely necessary to almost every life process;
three, people need training in how to respond effectivelyand
appropriately to conflict situations. For far far too long we've
had a single view of conflict: that it is bad and that it de-
mands a winner and a loser. Now, nobody would be foolish
enough to suggest that people be taught how to engage in
something bad, yet we do teach ourselves and our children,
providing we are sufficiently motivated, how to execute a left
jab, an uppercut, a karate chop. Even then we feel a vague
sense of guilt or anxiety about somehow sanctioning conflict.
What we need is a new definition of conflict, a new way
of looking at it, a new way of experiencing it, and a new way
of responding to it.
Attack-tics offers us two things: a better way of viewing
our daily struggles and a more effective way of handling
them. On the way there, we will try to redefine winning and
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight
Where ignorant armies clash by night....
it in for bed, we're fighting our own selves about smoking,
drinking, being stupid, being lazy . . .
Some days we're perfectly justified in saying that it's all too
much, or, like Matthew Arnold in "Dover Beach":
Introduction
xii
losing, moving away from the traditional
"poker game"
mentality toward a structure that will maximize everyone's
potential. There are no losers in Attack-tics.
The route by which we arrived at this unique view and
process was in itself unique. Attack-tics is the result of a
wedding of the martial arts and theater-in
this case, one
very special martial art, Aikido, and one little-known aspect
of theater, the rehearsal and training process. The two came
together in the form of Terry Dobson, a teacher of Aikido,
and Victor Miller, a teacher of theater games. The result,
Attack-tics, uses the physical throws and body movements
of Aikido as metaphors for the way in which to handle all
forms of social or psychological attack.
Aikido, in its most formal manifestation, was the discov-
ery of Morihei Ueshiba, a Japanese who at a very young age
set out on the road to becoming the most ferocious martial
artist in Japan. His motivation was quite simple. He had seen
his father brutally assaulted by a gang of thugs, and resolved
that he would never again be helpless. He reasoned that he
could have come to his father's aid if only he had known how
to fight.
In a relatively short time, Ueshiba had outstripped his
masters in several of the martial arts. Acknowledged as the
leading exponent of the way of the warrior, he should have
settled down to teach, grow old, and make wise pronounce-
ments. Fortunately, Ueshiba was troubled. With advancing
age, he realized that his powers and prowess were deserting
him. He saw that all his training, all his knowledge, was
founded upon the principle of physical strength. He could hit
harder, move faster, and dodge better than his opponents.
But for how long? Like the aging gunfighter in American
Westerns, Ueshiba was a ripe target for every younger, faster,
stronger warrior who came along.
Mystical revelations do not necessarily occur on moun-
~
xiii
Introduction
taintops. Ueshiba's revelation came to him while he was
dumping a bucket of cold water over himself after a long, hot
journey. "It was as if suddenly I could see everything
clearly," he said. He realized that he, along with all the rest
of us, had been sold a bill of goods-told
that big is better
than small, strong is better than weak, and quick is better
than slow. From the very beginning we are taught that
strength is physical.
It isn't.
Strength has more to do with intention than with the size
of your biceps. It has more to do with your spirit and your
energy flow than with the number of push-ups you can do.
Aikido is the distillation ofUeshiba's vision and appreciation
of what actually happens in nature. In hundreds of dojos
(practice halls) across the world, Aikidoists are daily proving
that a unified intention can accept and redirect the most
awesome brute strength. It may be hard to accept, but it is
a fact that a single reed can pierce a solid oak when blown
with the force of a typhoon. You need only think of this
image to appreciate the strength of a unified intention.
"Aikido," loosely translated, means a harmony of spirit
and body, the opposite of what most of us experience when
faced with conflict. It requires that the participant be "cen-
tered," relaxed, and alert. Moreover, Aikido is primarily a
form of self-defense; it does not teach you how to run right
out and break the nearest arm. Likewise, Attack-tics will not
teach you how to start conflicts. The balanced person rarely
feels the need to cause trouble.
We should bear in mind, finally, that Aikido (and, by
extension, Attack-tics) is not a series of techniques for ward-
ing off disaster. It may begin that way, but you will quickly
find that the more you practice the techniques and principles
in this book, the more ingrained they will become, until they
are simply part of a whole new outlook on conflict in inter-
Introduction
xiv
New York and Stratford
I977
personal relationships, and a whole new outlook on life.
Now, where does the element of theater join with martial
arts? For years theater games have been vehicles for teachers
and actors and directors to explore the dynamics of human
relationships on stage. In our Attack-tics workshops and
training seminars we have borrowed these exercises in order
to discover alternative methods for handling interpersonal
conflict. In short, we improvise conflict situations with our
clients so that they can practice their new behaviors in a
low-risk setting. Some of the games and exercises are in-
cluded in this book to give you the same opportunity.
What we hope you will take away from your reading and
practice of Attack-tics is a new sense of power-the
power
that comes from knowing you can handle conflict in a way
that is positive, humane, and mature; that you never have to
fight someone unless you choose to; that in most situations
you and your opponent can remain friends; that you don't
need to win in situations where even the winner is really a
loser.
And so, paradoxically, we are writing a book about har-
mony. Our goal is to help you achieve balance and harmony
through the resolution of conflict. Remember, however, that
harmony is inextricably bound up with the conflict from
which it sprang. You may never find that tranquil beach-
after all, the sand upon which you lie is the result of the
conflict of rock and water against rock-but
you need not be
afraid to face your struggles. "Growing up," as a wise person
once said, "is not for sissies."
xv
Introduction
BEGINNING
ATTACK-TICS
PART 1
YOU LOSE!
You losebecause your idea of winning-and-losing will keep
you losing until you change that idea.
You lose because, like most of us, you've been sold a bill
of goods about victory.
You lose because you've been living your life as if your
family, friends, and co-workers had just suited up for a game
and you were the Oakland Raiders' front line.
You lose because your sense of yourself has mistakenly
become bound up with your tally on a nonexistent score-
board.
You lose because even when you win, sometimes it feels as
if you lost.
"Lose" is one of the most depressing words in our lan-
guage. Try a few of these expressions on for size:
Conflictwouldn't be so bad if
it weren't for the losing.
-Anonymous
Losers Weepers
