Unleash Your Dreams: Tame Your Hidden Fears and Live the Life You Were Meant to Live

268 Pages·2008·0.85 MB·English

by  Michael E. Silverman

Unleash
Your
Dreams
Tame Your Hidden Fears
and Live the Life You Were Meant to Live
i
Michael E. Silverman, Ph.D.
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
ffffiirrss..iinndddd iiiiii 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5533 PPMM
ffffiirrss..iinndddd iiii 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5533 PPMM
Unleash
Your
Dreams
ffffiirrss..iinndddd ii 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5522 PPMM
ffffiirrss..iinndddd iiii 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5533 PPMM
Unleash
Your
Dreams
Tame Your Hidden Fears
and Live the Life You Were Meant to Live
i
Michael E. Silverman, Ph.D.
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
ffffiirrss..iinndddd iiiiii 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5533 PPMM
Copyright © 2008 by Michael E. Silverman, Ph.D. All rights reserved
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada
Design and composition by Navta Associates, Inc.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning,
or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copy-
right Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization
through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222
Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone], or on the web at
www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the
Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030,
[phone], fax [phone], or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and the author have used
their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with
respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifi cally dis-
claim any implied warranties of merchantability or fi tness for a particular purpose. No
warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials.
The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You
should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the au-
thor shall be liable for any loss of profi t or any other commercial damages, including but
not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Cus-
tomer Care Department within the United States at [phone], outside the United
States at [phone] or fax [phone].
Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that ap-
pears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley
products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Silverman, Michael, date.
Unleash your dreams : tame your hidden fears and live the life you were
meant to live / Michael Silverman.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references (p. ) and index.
ISBN 978-0-470-13714-7 (cloth)
1. Fear. 2. Success. I. Title.
BF575.F2S48 2008
152.4'6—dc22
2008001361
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
ffffiirrss..iinndddd iivv 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5533 PPMM
To my father
Prior to the completion of this manuscript, my father’s illness
took a turn for the worse. One day as we sat in his hospital
room in Boston, we had an unusual conversation, one that I had
yearned for my entire life, yet, as it unfolded, also regarded with
dread.
My father was a quiet and uniquely private person. We
rarely had conversations of a personal nature. Rather, we tended
to speak about things like the local sports teams, the right tool for
a household job, or my professional development. If anything,
our conversations seemed one-sided: I doing the talking, he
doing the critiquing.
I remember as a kid I used to sneak through my father’s
dresser drawers just to try to get a glimpse of what made him
tick. But baseballs, Zippo lighters, and a handful of old coins and
medals never really amounted to much information. Then, after
nearly forty years, part of my father that had been unknown to
me was now accessible—and I found his words at times uncom-
fortable to hear.
As he spoke to me from his hospital bed, I learned about the
joys and sorrows he felt at the completion of his life. I learned
about the opportunities that he’d never taken advantage of and
the regrets he had for not doing so. Most surprisingly, I learned
how much my accomplishments had meant to him and how
much joy they had brought him. At the end of our conversation,
ffffiirrss..iinndddd vv 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5533 PPMM
when I told him that I would be dedicating this book to him, his
response was, as usual, self-deprecating: “Why?”
My father may never have fully understood how positive
a force he was in my life, but after our conversation I had no
doubts about how strong and good-natured he really was.
Although he never got the chance to read these words, I dedicate
this book to a loving father who gave me the permission to
pursue my dreams—even if it meant that I would go on to
accomplish some of his.
ffffiirrss..iinndddd vvii 22//1111//0088 77::1166::5533 PPMM
Contents
Acknowledgments xi
INTRODUCTION The Gorilla in the Room 1
P A R T O N E
Uncover Your Dreams
1 Know Your Own Mind—Even if It Scares You 19
2 Imagine the Life That’s Right for You 39
P A R T T W O
Identify Your Hidden Fears
3 Three Big Fears: Failure, Mediocrity, and Success 57
4 Overcome Your Fear of Fear Itself 85
5 Free Yourself from Your Fear of Guilt 105
6 Face Your Fear of Anger 131
7 Conquer Your Fears of Envy and Isolation 149
vii
ffttoocc..iinndddd SSeecc11::vviiii 22//1111//0088 77::1177::5500 PPMM