Understanding Narcissists: How to Cope with Destructive People in Your Life

228 Pages·2022·6.873 MB·English

by  Nina W. Brown

Understanding Narcissists

Understanding Narcissists
How to Cope with Destructive
People in Your Life
Nina W. Brown
Copyright © 2022 by Nina W. Brown
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, except for the inclusion of brief
quotations in a review, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Brown, Nina W., author.
Title: Understanding narcissists : how to cope with destructive people in your life /
Nina W. Brown.
Description: Santa Barbara, California : Praeger, [2022] | Includes
bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2021018798 (print) | LCCN 2021018799 (ebook) | ISBN
9781440876813 (hardcover ; alk. paper) | ISBN 9781440876820 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Narcissism. | Narcissists.
Classification: LCC BF575.N35 B763 2022 (print) | LCC BF575.N35 (ebook) |
DDC 616.85/854—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021018798
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021018799
ISBN: 978-1-4408-7681-3 (print)
978-1-4408-7682-0 (ebook)
26 25 24 23 22 1 2 3 4 5
This book is also available as an eBook.
Praeger
An Imprint of ABC-CLIO, LLC
ABC-CLIO, LLC
147 Castilian Drive  
Santa Barbara, California 93117
www.abc-clio.com
This book is printed on acid-free paper
Manufactured in the United States of America
This book is dedicated in loving memory of our son and brother
Michael R. Brown (1960–2019).

Contents
Preface ix
Chapter 1 The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern 1
Chapter 2 DNP Actions: Exploitation and Manipulation
Are Their Norms 25
Chapter 3 The Model and Healthy Adult Narcissism:
DNP Types 45
Chapter 4 Grandiosity and the Impoverished Self 63
Chapter 5 Exploitation and Entitlement 83
Chapter 6 Extensions of Self: Attention-Seeking Behavior 103
Chapter 7 Admiration-Hungry Behavior, Unique and
Special Attitude and Shallow Emotions 121
Chapter 8 Lack of Empathy, Emptiness, and Envy 137
Chapter 9 Why They Are So Successful: Coping Strategies 155
Chapter 10 Working or Living with Someone with a DNP 173
Chapter 11 Healthy Adult Narcissism 189
References 209
Index 211

Preface
The story of Narcissus has been used by many as being descriptive of
narcissism, especially pathological narcissism. Narcissus, in Greek
mythology, was a young man of exceptional beauty, and all of the nymphs
desired him, but he ignored them. One nymph, Echo, loved him deeply
and tried to tell him of her love, but he rudely rejected her. Echo was very
ashamed and grieved so deeply that she faded away until only her voice
remained. The nymphs were outraged and petitioned the gods to punish
Narcissus. The gods agreed and set the stage for Narcissus to experience
the unrequited love that Echo did. Narcissus saw his reflection in a pool
of water, thought it was a beautiful water spirit, and fell in love. The reflec-
tion did not respond to him and disappeared every time he tried to
embrace it. He continued to try to get a response, but to no avail. He
gradually pined away and died. When the nymphs came to bury him,
they found a flower facing the water in his place. This story has come to
symbolize excessive self-absorption, indifference to others, and lack of
empathy, which are all characteristics of pathological and destructive
narcissism.
This book, the third in a series about destructive narcissism and its
effect on relationships and interactions, describes and illustrates the
beliefs, attitudes, and actions that signal a destructive narcissistic pattern
(DNP). The first book in the series, The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern
(1998), proposed to conceptualize someone with a DNP as having and
exhibiting behaviors and attitudes reflective of the more serious narcis-
sistic personality disorder (NPD, as per the Diagnostic and Statistical Man-
ual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition [DSM-5]) but different in that the
person has not been assessed or diagnosed for the NPD, and the exhibited
behaviors and attitudes are less in number and in severity. Even so, peo-
ple with a DNP can behave in ways that are troubling to others and are