Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges into Music

588 Pages·2008·2.72 MB·English

by  Bathroom Readers' Institute

By the
Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Bathroom Readers’ Press
Ashland, Oregon
UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER®
PLUNGES INTO MUSIC
Copyright © 2007 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press).
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without
written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
“Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor. All
rights reserved.
For this expanded edition, a few select articles have been included from the following books: The Best of
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader © 1995 Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle John’s Ultimate Bathroom Reader
© 1996 Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle John’s Giant 10th Anniversary Bathroom Reader © 1997
Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle John’s Great Big Bathroom Reader © 1998 Bathroom Readers’ Press;
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into History © 2001 Portable Press; Uncle John’s Supremely
Satisfying Bathroom Reader © 2001 Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle John’s Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom
Reader © 2002 Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into Great Lives © 2003
Portable Press; Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader © 2003 Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle
John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into History Again © 2004 Portable Press; Uncle John’s Bathroom
Reader Plunges Into Texas © 2004 Portable Press; Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader ©
2004 Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Christmas Collection © 2005 Portable
Press; Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into Michigan © 2005 Portable Press; Uncle John’s Fast-
Acting Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader © 2005 Bathroom Readers’ Press; Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
Plunges Into Hollywood © 2005 Portable Press; Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into New Jersey ©
2005 Portable Press; Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into Ohio © 2007 Portable Press.
For information, write:
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute, P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520
www.bathroomreader.com • 888-488-4642
Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld, San Rafael, CA ([email protected])
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader® Plunges into Music
by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute
ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-605-0
E-book edition: February 2012
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Uncle John’s bathroom reader plunges into music.
p. cm.
1. Music—Humor.
ML65.U58 2008
780—dc22
2007039215
Hiya, Sophie! Hiya, Jesse!
THANK YOU!
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and
assistance made this book possible.
Gordon Javna
Thom Little
Brian Boone
Amy Miller
Jay Newman
John Dollison
Julia Papps
JoAnn Padgett
Melinda Allman
Michael Brunsfeld
Angela Kern
Maggie McLaughlin
Dan Mansfield
Jef Fretwell
Stephanie Spadaccini
Jeff Cheek
Kyle Coroneos
Brândon Williams
David Harp
Debbie Pawlak
Gabriella Toth
J. Carroll
Jenness Crawford
Janet Spencer
Jennifer Payne
John Scalzi
Kathryn Grogman
Heather Holliday
Lisa Meyers
John Javna
Kerry Kern
Malcolm Hillgartner
Jahnna Beecham
Lea Markson
Maggie McLean
Bethanne Patrick
Megan Kern
Toney Lee
Vickey Kalambakal
Sue Steiner
Alan Reder
Sydney Stanley
Scarab Media
Nancy Toeppler
Karen Malchow
Laurel Graziano
Monica Maestas
David Calder
(Mr.) Mustard Press
Steven Style Group
Publishers Group West
Raincoast Books
Porter the Wonder Dog
Thomas Crapper
CONTENTS
Because the BRI understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by
length as well as subject
Short—a quick read
Medium—2 to 3 pages
Long—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is
required
* Extended—for those leg-numbing experiences
BEHIND THE HITS
Medium
Cover Me!
Behind the (Silly) Hits
I Hate My Song
One-Hit Wonders
Hits of the 1970s
Who’s That Song About?
Behind the Hits
It Began as a Joke
“Cop Killer”
INSTRUMENT HISTORY
Medium
A Cymbal of Success
Ancient Instruments: The Bronze Lur
They’re Instrumental
Let’s Play the Ngarrriralkpwina!
Long
Twang! A Brief History of the Electric Guitar
The Uke
Secrets of the Stradivarius
Eatin’ the Tin Sandwich
Music Makers
*Banjo Rising
WE’RE WITH THE BAND
Short
The Reunion-nots
Juzt Nutz
Who’s That Band?
Medium
The Replacements
Guess Who’s Playing at the County Fair?
The Who?
Long
The Fifth Beatle
FADS & FLOPS
Medium
Killer Albums
Failed Comebacks
“The Next Bob Dylan”
Long
The Next Big Thing
CONCERT TICKETS
Short
Attack!
Stage Frights
Medium
Hot Fun in the Summertime
Concerts Gone Bad
Long
Venerated Venues
MYTHS & RUMORS
Short
Oh, Frankie!
Medium
Keith Urban Legends
Legendary Songs
Long
Was John Fogerty Really Stuck in Lodi?
AMERICANA
Medium
Musical Presidents, Part I
“Hail to the Chief”
Musical Presidents, Part II
Musical Presidents, Part III
THAT’S DEATH
Medium
Swan Songs
The Unlucky 27 Club
Rock ‘n’ Roll Heaven
More Swan Songs
Autopsies of the Rich and Musical
Long
The Suicide Song
GIVE A LISTEN
Medium
Outsider Music
The Other Sopranos
Long
Influential Unknowns
Jobriath
*Twelve Recordings that Changed Music
MUSICAL FEUDS
Medium
Strange Lawsuits
Musical Mayhem
Banned Music
Battling the Band
Long
Tipper vs. Music
MUSIC BUSINE$$
Medium
Show Them the Money
Music to Go Shopping By
Why Gold? Platinum?
Check the Label, Part I
How iPod Changed the Music Business
Check the Label, Part II
Long
The Sound of Muzak
HAVE YOU HEARD…?
Medium
Odd Homemade Instruments
The Aeolian Harp
Lost Instruments
Long
Seven Instruments Bigger Than a Tuba
MOUTHING OFF
Short
Crazed Conductors
Music Lessons
Origin Stories
“Thank You, Boston!”
Laugh Tracks
The Power of Music
Music Lessons 2: The Biz
Random Quotes
Quotin’ Country
More Laugh Tracks
Classical Opinions
Jazz Is …
More Laugh Tracks
Dead-Heads
Final Thoughts
Medium
Film Muzik
GREAT COMPOSERS
Medium
Modern Mozarts