Table Of ContentContents
Title Page i
Publisher Information ii
Dedication iii
Acknowledgements iv
Foreword v
Introduction 1
Part One 6
Chapter One 7
Chapter Two 14
Part Two 38
Chapter Three 39
Chapter Four 69
Chapter Five 90
Chapter Six 109
Part Three 130
Chapter Seven 131
Chapter Eight 148
Part Four 164
Chapter Nine 165
Chapter Ten 192
Chapter Eleven 212
About the Author 233
Toxic Masculinity
Curing the Virus: Making Men, Smarter,
Healthier, Safer
Stephen M Whitehead
Published in 2021 by
AG Books
www agbooks co uk
Digital edition converted and distributed by
Andrews UK Limited
www andrewsuk com
Copyright © 2021 Stephen M Whitehead
The right of Stephen M Whitehead to be identified as
the author of this work has been asserted in accordance
with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
All rights reserved No reproduction, copy or transmission
of this publication may be made without express prior
written permission No paragraph of this publication may be
reproduced, copied or transmitted except with express prior
written permission or in accordance with the provisions of the
Copyright Act 1956 (as amended) Any person who commits
any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be
liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damage
The views and opinions expressed herein belong
to the author and do not necessarily reflect those
of AG Books or Andrews UK Limited
For Gavin, Jay and Robert
Acknowledgements
So many individuals have been a positive part of my own
masculinities journey that it would be impossible to list them all,
though I acknowledge each of you now Some of you are mentioned
in the text, most are not I owe every one of you a debt of gratitude
As for this book, I am very grateful to the following for their
comments, suggestions and for taking time to read early drafts
and for their reviews of the book: Denry Machin, Sigrid Twibell,
Roy Moodley, Carlton Rounds, Patrick Lee, Jing Yi Tan, Caroline
Whitehead, Steve Cropper, and Gabriela Corbera Thanks to Sheila
French and Anissa Talahite for contributing to the original idea for
a book on modern masculinity and the rise of women
Finally, my thanks to Eva Pascal and Adam Dedman for the
conversations we had over a decade ago during which for me
at least, the concept of ‘toxic masculinity’ first got named and
discussed
Foreword
This book began its genesis many decades ago, long before I had
any inclination to study, write, and question the gender norms
which existed in my life from birth onwards It has taken shape
over seven decades, it is still taking shape though at some point one
has to stop thinking, reflecting and start writing Well, I have to
I started writing Toxic Masculinity in the autumn of 2018 and
the ebook version was subsequently published by AG in November
2019 This paperback version was published nearly 18 months later
and for the most part is identical to the ebook version In which
case, you’ll notice some important and relevant global events are
not referred to or examined: the global covid-19 pandemic and the
appalling responses to this crisis by many male politicians; the 2020
US Presidential election and the attempt to deny the democratic
result; the George Floyd murder (USA); the global Black Lives
Matter protests; the attack on the US Capitol by Trump supporters;
the Sarah Everard murder (UK); the Boulder, Colorado shootings
(USA); the first incel terrorist charge filed in Canada; and the rise
in racist attacks and hate crimes against Asians, exemplified by the
shootings in Atlanta, (USA) in March 2021
That is one of the problems with toxic masculinity – it keeps on
going, inflicting more pain Every day, every week, every month,
the deluge of male hate, violence, and anger continues more or less
unabated
At time of writing this Foreword, yet another example of Toxic
Masculinity is surfacing and impacting global consciousness,
especially in the UK That is the overwhelming evidence of a ‘rape
culture’ in UK schools, with many thousands of reports of sexual
harassment, abuse and assault of female pupils posted on the www
everyonesinvited uk website
We seem to be living through an age of disillusionment and
while that is sad maybe it is inevitable, if not essential We have to
let go of our myths and illusions and face reality if we are to mature
as a global society and as individuals Unfortunately, when it comes
to confronting the toxic masculine culture at large in our schools,
the illusion we have to let go of is the innocence of our children
The next generation of male rapists, murderers, abusers, torturers
are in our schools right now And they are already practicing for
being toxic men
• Do we recognise the problem?
• Are we happy with this situation?
• What are we going to do about it?
We cannot blame the children We adults must take responsibility
for the continuation or erasure of toxic masculinity in our lives,
in our communities, in our world No one is going to do this for
us We must act and do so now This book is merely adding to the
growing chorus for change as well as indicating where and how
that change should come about if we are to progress the civilising
process referred to in these pages
But there is also evidence of progressive masculine values
taking deeper root in society – not all men are a problem indeed a
growing number are very much part of the solution and active in
resisting toxic masculine values And as for collapsed masculinity,
introduced and examined in this book, even the Chinese
government is now forced to recognise it as a distinct masculine
identity Though the Chinese government’s somewhat predictable
response is to see the emergence of more ‘feminine Chinese males’
as a big problem and one to be dealt with by ‘developing more manly
values in schools’ Will China’s male leaders succeed in replacing
collapsed masculinity with toxic masculinity in their young men?
One would hope not, though from a sociological perspective it will
be fascinating to see them try
Stephen Whitehead
April 2021
Introduction
Teach men to be peaceful and the world will follow
I have been writing about men and masculinities for 30 years
This is my twelfth book Each book has been part of an ongoing
research not only into men but also the theories and dynamics
of gender identity Throughout these decades I have also been
studying myself
From the start of my journey into men and masculinities I
realised that no man can or should venture into this field unless
he has first declared himself to be a (pro)feminist That is, he is
fully aligned with the central tenets of feminism Why? Because
gender identity work is not apolitical It is fundamentally about
power Gender is not now and never has been, neutral And nor is
sexuality This is not a biological issue, it is a social one Therefore, if
you are a straight man and you wish to help change the traditional
gender order, challenging and overturning hegemonic masculine
values, attitudes, practices, then do so from a feminist standpoint
Any other standpoint means you are merely contributing to the
problem
At the same time, (pro)feminist men are not here to colonise
feminism We are here to strengthen it And the best way to do so is
to first recognise our relationship to that which we are investigating
This is not me going off into some anxious hand-wringing guilt
trip, it is simply me noting the truth of what I write about Males
are not born destined to be a problem But many millions become a
