Table Of ContentYOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME
READING IRIS RAINER DART!
’TIL THE REAL THING COMES ALONG
“The characters are romantic and lively and the plot moves along with
engaging force…. She understands people and that’s Dart’s strong point
as an author. $he takes us into their emotions and makes us understand
them, mainly because they make the same mistakes and have the same
dreams as the readers.”
—Ocala Star-Banner
“Iris gives you her world in her voice. The behind-the-scenes of ;i
comedy star show, the survival of writers who are used to big salaries,
the male-dominated suites of the networks…. [She can] make you
laugh, cry, and think.”
—California Jewish Press
“Dart, the author of Beaches, writes with…humor and compassion.”
—Cleveland Plain Dealer on Tbe, Stork Club
“If Iris Rainer Dart were a performer instead of a writer, she’d almost
certainly be Bette Midler…Midler’s brash style is Dart’s fiction made
flesh.”
—Chicago Tribune
Books by Iris Rainer Dart
’Til the Real Thing Comes Along
Beaches
The Stork Club
Beaches II: I’ll Be There
Show Business Kills
Copyright
Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint lyrics from the
following songs: “CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU” By Bob Crewe and
Bob Gaudio. Copyright © 1967 Saturday Music, Inc. & Seasons Four Music.
Used by permission only. All rights reserved. “I’M GLAD THERE IS YOU (IN
THIS WORLD OF ORDINARY PEOPLE)” by Paul Madeira and Jimmy
Dorsey. Copyright 1941,1942 MORLEY MUSIC CO. Copyright © renewed
1969, 1970 MORLEY MUSIC CO. International copyright secured. All rights
reserved. Used by permission “IT’S ALL IN THE GAME” (Dawes-Sigman).
Copyright 1912 and 1951 renewed and terminated and assigned to Larry Spier,
Inc. and Major Songs Co. Reprinted with permission of The Copyright Owners.
“WHEN YOU WORE A TULIP (AND I WORE A BIG RED ROSE),” words
by Jack Mahoney, Music by Percy Wenrich. Copyright 1914, renewed 1942
LEO FEIST, INC. Rights assigned to CBS CATALOG PARTNERSHIP. All
rights controlled & administerd by CBS FEIST CATALOG INC. All rights
reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission. “THEY ALL
LAUGHED” by George and Ira Gershwin. Copyright 1937 by Gershwin
Publishing Corp. Copyright renewed, assigned to CHAPPELL & CO. INC.
International copyright secred. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
“SMALL WORLD, ISN’T IT?” by Stephen Sondheim & Julie Styne. Copyright
© 1959 and 1960 by Norbeth Productions & Stephen Sondheim Williamson
Music Co., and Stratford Music, Owner of publication and allied rights
throughout the world. CHAPPELL & CO. Sole selling agent. International
copyright secured. All rights reserved. Used by permission. “GETTING TO
KNOW YOU” by Richard Rodgers & Oscar Hammerstein IL. Copyright 1951
by Richard Rodgers & Oscar Hammerstein IL Copyright renewed, Williamson
Music Co., owner of publication and allied rights throughout the Western
Hemisphere and Japan. International copyright secured. All rights reserved.
Used by permission “RHINESTONE COWBOY” (Larry Weiss). Copyright ©
1974 WB MUSIC CORP and HOUSE OF WEISS MUSIC. All rights reserved.
Used by permission. “YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO YOUNG” (Joseph Myrow
and Mack Gordon). Copyright 1946 WB MUSIC CORP. (Renewed). All rights
reserved. Used by permission. “I’M FOREVER BLOWING BUBBLES” (John
William Kellette and Jean Kenbbrovin) Copyright 1919 WARNER BROS. INC.
(Renewed). All rights reserved. Used by permission. “ON THE BOARDWALK
IN ATLANTIC CITY” (Joseph Myrow and Mack Gordon). Copyright 1946 WB
MUSIC CORP. (Renewed). All rights reserved. Used by permission.
WARNER BOOKS EDITION
Copyright © 1987 by Iris Rainer Dart All rights reserved.
This Warner Books Edition is published by arrangement with the author.
Warner Books, Inc.
Hachette Book Group 237 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com
First eBook Edition: October 2009
ISBN: 978-0-446-56761-9
This book is dedicated to the memory of
my parents, Rose and Harry Ratner.
and
to my blessings, my son and daughter,
and
to Stephen Dart,
my knight in shining armor
Prairie Hili Books
6508 Old Independence Rd.
Brenham, TX 77833-6634
(979) 836-9226
[email protected]
www.prairiehillbooks.com
THANK-YOUS
Barry Adelman
Doctor Howard Allen
Sylvia Angel
Ann Beckett
Mary Blann
Hank Bradford
Francois R. Brenot
Joyce Brotman
Ethel Eisner
Sandy Ferguson
Joe Mansfield
Elaine Markson
Doctor Alfred Pasternak
Fanny and Benny Rabinowitz
Elliot Ratner
Joe Singer
Meg Sivitz
Susan Sivitz
and a special thank-you to my
editor, Linda Grey, for the confidence,
enthusiasm, and support she’s given
me since the very first day.
Contents
Books by Iris Rainer Dart
Copyright
THANK-YOUS
BOOK ONE: R.J.
BOOK TWO: DAVEYAND ROSIE JANE
DAVEY’S STORY
ROSIE JANE’S STORY
DAVEY’S STORY
ROSIE’S STORY
DAVEY’S STORY
R.J.’S STORY
BOOK THREE: R.J.
BOOK FOUR: DAVEY AND ROSDE JANE
DAVID’S STORY
ROSIE’S STORY
DAVID’S STORY
R.J.’S STORY
DAVID’S STORY
BOOK FIVE: R.J. and David
BOOK ONE
R.J.
1979-1981
I
t was three o’clock in the morning and a thick gray cloud of
cigar smoke hung in the air over the conference table. R.J. took another sip of
coffee from a white mug that had the words THE BROAD printed boldly in red
on the side, then held the mug next to her cheek, hoping the heat would soothe
her pounding headache.
“Patsy’s gotta say it right out on the air,” Harry Elfand announced. “‘My
husband left me for a younger woman.’ America is gonna love her for tellin’ the
truth, so let’s run with it.”
“How young is the other woman?” Eddie Levy asked, knowing the other
writers would rise to the bait.
“She’s so young, when he takes her out to dinner he has to cut her meat,”
Marty Nussbaum offered.
“He has to strain the food.”
“He comes home with pablum on his breath.”
“The only social disease he worries about is diaper rash.”
The voices of the writers were strained with exhaustion.
“You’re makin’ the girlfriend too young,” Harry Elfand said. Then he
absently put a lit match to the cigar he was chewing, even though the cigar was
already lit.
R.J. wriggled her toes inside her boots. She would never get through another
hour of this. She was freezing and sleepy. A younger woman. What’s funny
about a younger woman? she thought.
“Everyone reads the Enquirer. We’ve gotta make Patsy come out smelling
like a rose. She caught her old man cheating. The girlfriend’s eighteen. Patsy’s
thirty-six.”
“How’d Patsy catch him?” Eddie Levy asked.
R.J. put her cup down on the table and answered in a sleepy voice. “She
found Clearasil on his collar.”
“That’s funny,” someone muttered very quietly.
“Good one,” Harry Elfand said to R.J. “Stay with it.”
“Freddy’s so cheap, he’ll marry the girl ’cause he can get her into the movies
for half price,” R.J. said. She was so punchy that she laughed a sharp little laugh
out loud at that one. No one else even cracked a smile.
“Okay, two jokes about the girl is enough,” Harry Elfand said, turning to face
