This book is gay

273 Pages·2018·17.595 MB·English

by  Dawson, Juno

JUNO DAWSON
ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPIKE GERRELL
INTRODUCTION BY DAVID LEVITHAN
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This book is dedicated to anyone
who has ever wondered.
Copyright © 2015 by Juno Dawson
Cover and internal design © 2015 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover designed by Jet Purdie
Illustrations copyright © Spike Gerrell
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any
electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—
except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without
permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information
in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the
publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service.
If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent
professional person should be sought. —From a Declaration of Principles Jointly
Adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of
Publishers and Associations
All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered
trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks, Inc., is not
associated with any product or vendor in this book.
Published by Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.
P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410
[phone]
Fax: [phone]
www.sourcebooks.com
Originally published in 2014 in the United Kingdom by Hot Key books.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is on file with the publisher.
Printed and bound in the United States of America.
VP 10 9 8
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CONTENTS
Introduction v
Welcome to the members club 1
The name game 15
You can’t mistake our biology 35
Stereotypes are poo 45
The fear 67
Haterz gon’ hate 89
Coming out 113
Where to meet people like you 137
The ins and outs of gay sex 165
Nesting 203
Hats 227
A guide to recognizing your gay saints 233
Build a bridge 247
The cheat sheet 255
Acknowledgments 263
About the author 264
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THIS INTRODUCTION IS GAY
(BUT IT TOOK SOME TIME TO GET HERE)
by David Levithan
So, yeah, I was pretty oblivious.
Even though I had kissed boys (and liked it). Even though
other people had called me gay (rarely as a compliment). Even
though my friends had asked if I was gay (later, I found out it
was okay that I was). Even though it was pictures of guys that
turned me on (I had a stash). Even though I had a gay uncle
who brought his boyfriend to Thanksgiving (without incident).
Even though all the signs were there—I still didn’t make the
connection. I was—what’s the phrase? Willfully ignorant.
What I’m saying is: Even though it was obvious, it took
me a while to figure out I was gay.
Granted, now is a different time. At this point, even five
years ago is a different time.
But the timeless reason I was so clueless was this:
I couldn’t recognize the clues.
And since I didn’t recognize them, I couldn’t find them.
Until I did.
For me, it was a quote in my college newspaper. A fellow
student was interviewed about how he knew he was gay. And
his answer was simple—he said that whenever he fantasized,
he thought about being with guys.
And I thought: Oh, yeah. That.
Hmm.
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vi
I gathered more clues. I pieced together more answers. It
got easier and easier.
I was fine.
No, better than that.
I was who I was meant to be.
When I was in high school, there’s no way a book like
this would have made it to me. But what if it had? I imagine I
would have figured out things sooner. I would have been less
clueless—because this is, if nothing else, an extraordinarily
helpful book of clues. And here’s the thing about clues: They
don’t tell you what to do, but they do show you what you
can do.
This book is gay…but you don’t have to be gay in order
to read it. Whether you’re curious about the gay people in
your life (clue: They’re there!), questioning your own iden-
tity, or very sure of your own identity (thank you very much)
but a little lost in the ins and outs of…well, the ins and
outs—this is a crash course to prevent you from crashing, the
honest truths in a world where there are few simple truths.
I’ve been gay longer than any current teenager has been alive
(pauses, freaks out a little), but I still found a new clue or
two. Or two dozen.
When I travel, I love to read guidebooks first to hear
what other people have to say about where I’m going before
I get there. Then when I arrive, I close the guidebooks and
have my own experience of the place. So, think of this as a
handy guidebook. Take in what it has to say. See what it
helps you figure out. Then close it, and experience.
I promise: There’s a lot to experience.
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Author’s note:
This Book Is Gay is a collection of facts, my ideas,
and my stories but also the testimonies of more
than three hundred amazing LGBT* people who
shared their stories. In July 2013, I conducted an
international survey from which many of the
quotes are taken, and also carried out more in-
depth interviews with some selected participants.
As not all of the participants are “out” or open
about their sexuality, or may have sensitive
careers, some names have been changed.
Throughout This Book Is Gay, I’ve used LGBT* to
represent the full and infinite spectrum of
sexual and gender identities. It’s certainly not
my intention for anyone to feel excluded by that
initialism; I just needed a shorthand or the book
would have been a LOT longer!
A huge thank you to everyone who took part. I’m
so proud of what we’ve achieved with this book.
Juno Dawson
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CHAPTER 1:
WELCOME TO THE
MEMBERS CLUB
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2
Lesson One
• Sometimes men like men.
• Sometimes women like women.
• Sometimes women like men and women.
• Sometimes men like women and men.
• Sometimes people don’t like anyone.
• Sometimes a man might want to be a woman.
• Sometimes a woman might want to be a man.
• Sometimes people don’t identify as a man or as a woman.
Got that? It really is that simple.
I could end the lesson there, but I don’t think a few pages
would make a very good book, so I suppose I should go into a
bit more depth…
WELCOME TO THE MEMBERS CLUB
There’s a long-running joke that, on “coming out,” a young
lesbian, gay guy, bisexual, or trans person should receive a
membership card and instruction manual.
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