Thirty Rooms to Hide In : Insanity, Addiction, and Rock n Roll in the Shadow of the Mayo Clinic

317 Pages·2012·4.97 MB·English

by  Sullivan

THIRTY ROOMS TO HIDE IN
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THIRTY ROOMS
TO HIDE IN
Insanity, Addiction, and Rock ’n’ Roll
in the Shadow of the Mayo Clinic
LUKE LONGSTREET SULLIVAN
University of Minnesota Press
Minneapolis • London
Readers interested in seeing more about the Sullivan family,
including letters, photographs, and home movies,
may visit the website thirtyroomstohidein.com.
A prior edition of this book was published in electronic and print-on-demand formats.
Th e photograph on page 294 by Shelley Aubin. Photographs on page 300 by Susie Blackmun.
Th e illustration of the Millstone’s gate light on title page courtesy of Tom Lichtenheld.
Copyright 2012 by Luke Longstreet Sullivan
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published by the University of Minnesota Press
111 Th ird Avenue South, Suite 290
Minneapolis, MN 55401-2520
http://www.upress.umn.edu
Design and composition by Yvonne Tsang, Wilsted & Taylor Publishing Services
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Sullivan, Luke.
Th irty rooms to hide in : insanity, addiction, and rock ’n’ roll in the shadow of the Mayo Clinic /
Luke Longstreet Sullivan.
ISBN 978-0-8166-7955-3 (hc : alk. paper)
ISBN 978-0-8166-7971-3 (pb : alk. paper)
1. Sullivan, Luke—Health. 2. Orthopedists—United States—Biography.
3. Alcoholics—Family relationships—United States—Biography.
4. Mentally ill—Family relationships—United States—Biography.
5. Children of the mentally ill—United States—Biography. I. Title.
RD727.S85 2012
362.292092—dc23
[B]
2012017395
Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper
Th e University of Minnesota is an equal-opportunity educator and employer.
20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Gone
A poem by my mother, 1981
You disappeared before they were born,
all of them—
except maybe the fi rst
when you weren’t quite gone
just beginning to go—
not over a cliff
with punctilious grace
leaving me most of a body to mourn;
not with somebody’s gaudy wife
a fl ick of rue on your face
a farewell fl ourish on the MG’s horn
and a monthly check
to prove your going was done.
No, you just disappeared
in bits,
like grain from a sack invaded by rats
a farmer fi nds
still standing in the corner,
empty.
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Contents
Funeral 1
Th e Millstone 5
Skeletons in the Closet 9
Bone Doctors 15
Grandma Rock Sentences Everyone to Hell 21
Little Christians, All in a Row 27
Little Monsters in Every Room 33
Memory: Th rowing Up 36
A Library of Her Own 39
Forts, Death, and Bedtime 45
Cold War 51
Five O’clock Shadow 55
Head X-ray: Roger in 1957 57
Shit Gathers in General Area of Fan 59
Cyclops and the Fallout Shelter 65
Memory: Dad Helps with Homework 68
Hidden Books, Hidden Letters 71
Eleven Twenty-Two 77
Fun at the Foot of the Volcano 81
Rat Helicopters 89
Cause of Death: Unknown 93
Th e Pagans 97
“Spats with the Wife” 103
Memory: I Am “Suave Ghost” 107
Th e Alcoholic’s Guide to Ruining Evenings 109
Snowballs Somehow Made in Hell 115
Memory: I Am “Little Brother Man” 119
Leaving the Millstone 123
“We’ve Always Lived in Th is Castle” 129
Haunted House 135
Ceiling Tiles over a Psychiatrist’s Couch 141
Memory: I Am “Quiet Man” 144
Th ings Th at Were Scarier Th an Dad 147
Baba Yaga 161
Memory: I Am the Fift h Beatle 163
Hiding in the Bathroom from Bullets 167
Hiding in the Tower Library 175
Memory: I Am the Incredible Hulk 176
Memory: I Am “Lonely Guy” 177
Pagan Rites 181
Eye of the Hurricane 187
No Help from God 191
Case #34233 195
Daydream: I Am “the Bullshit Police” 196
Suicide 201
One Last Good Christmas 205
Tiny Details in Family Pictures 211
Daydream: I Save Dad 213
Goodnight, Irene 217
Whiteout/Blackout 223
Meltdown in West Palm Beach 229
“Do I Owe You Any Money?” 233
Th e Famous Final Scene 237
Zee Tortured Arteest 241
Phone Calls from the Dead 245
Th is Mortal Coil 249
Room 50 251
Th e Irish Flu 255
Sunday, July 3, 1966 259
Pagans in the Temple 267
One Last Look 271
Sunlight Streams through a High Window 275
I Believe in God Briefl y 279
Th e Big Bad World 283
Take a Sad Song and Make It Better 289
Th is Very Room 295
“And Every Winter Change to Spring” 301
Epilogue 304
Acknowledgments 305
Author’s Note 305