Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me: A Guide to Living with Impeccable Grace and Style

400 Pages·2008·1.23 MB·English

by  Lucia van der Post

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things i wish my mother
had told me
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things i wish
my mother had told me
A GUIDE TO LIVING WITH
IMPECCABLE GRACE & STYLE
LUCIA VAN DER POST
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
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Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are
claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Da Capo Press
was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed in initial capital letters.
Copyright © 2007, 2008 by Lucia van der Post
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval sys-
tem, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Printed in
the United States of America.
Originally published in Great Britain in 2007 by John Murray (Publishers), and Hachette
Livre UK company. This edition, which has been revised for North American readers, is
published by arrangement with John Murray.
Grateful acknowledgment is made to the estate of Elizabeth David for permission to
reprint the recipe for orange soufflé on page 292, from A Book of Mediterranean Food, orig-
inally published by Penguin Books in 1950.
Designed by Pauline Brown
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Van der Post, Lucia.
Things I wish my mother had told me : a guide to living with impeccable grace and style
/ Lucia van der Post. — 1st Da Capo Press ed.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 978-1-60094-060-6 (alk. paper)
1. Beauty, Personal. 2. Feminine beauty (Aesthetics) 3. Women—Psychology.
4. Conduct of life. I. Title.
HQ1219.V36 2008
646.7'042--dc22
2008030618
First Da Capo Press edition 2008
Published by Da Capo Press
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
www.dacapopress.com
Note: Although every effort was made to ensure that the information in this book was cor-
rect at the time of going to press, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby dis-
claim any liability to any party for any loss or damage caused by any errors or omissions.
Da Capo Press books are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the United
States by corporations, institutions, and other organizations. For more information, please
contact the Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300 Chestnut
Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call [phone], ext. 5000, or e-mail
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For my family, who matter more and more as the years go by,
and in memory of my own mother, whose grace and dignity
in the face of life’s adversities taught me much.
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Contents
A Note to Readers, xiii
O N E
Z how to wear clothes Z
How to Dress, 3
Finding Your Own Style, 7
How to Dress for Work, 13
How to Be Glam, 19
How to Wear Black, 20
Makeup for Wearing Black, 22
Occasion Dressing, 24
Party Time, 26
Cheap Chic, 28
Up, Up, and Away, 34
Sunglasses (or Shades), 35 • How to Pack, 37 •
The Yacht, 40 • The Plane, 42 • The Safari, 44 •
The Beach, 44 • The City Weekend, 45 • Snow, 46
Underpinnings, 48
Specialist Shops Around the World, 51
One’s Chapeau, 54
Shoes, 58
Handbags, 64
Cheaper Options, 68 • Bag Shoppers, 68
Jewels, 70
Good Places to Buy, 72
Jeans, 75
The Perfect Jeans, 76
T-Shirts, 78
Cashmere, 78
vii
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viii Contents
Specialist Help, 81
Personal Shoppers and Wardrobe Advisors, 81 • How to
Get Rid of Unwanted Clothes, 86 • Cleaning, Alterations,
Repairs, and Storage, 87
The Sales, 89
T W O
Z how to look good Z
Why It Matters, 93
Skin, 96
Cleansers, 97 • Exfoliators, 98 • Toners, 99 •
Moisturizers, 99 • Nourishing Creams, 99 • The War
Against Wrinkles, 104 • Treats and Facials, 105 • Eyes, 108
• Tips for Eyes, 111 • Necks and Chests, 112
Makeup, 114
Primers, 116 • Radiance, 116 • For the No-Makeup
Look, 117 • Need a Bit of Cover-up?, 117 • Beauty on
the Cheap, 118 • Makeup Specialists, 118
Teeth, 121
Hair, 123
Hands, 126
Nails, 127
Legs, 128
Feet, 129
Top Beauty Tips, 132
Vitamin Injections, 133
The Nonsurgical Face-lift, 134
Plastic Surgery: Should You or Shouldn’t You?, 137
Questions to Ask Your Plastic Surgeon, 140
Health, 141
How to Detox and Love It, 141 • So You Want to Be
Fitter?, 143 • So You Want to Be Thinner?, 144
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Contents ix
Massage, 146
Scent, 148
Roja Dove’s Guide to Choosing Scent, 151 • Shops for
Scent Around the World, 152
T H R E E
Z love, marriage, and happiness Z
Love, 159
Marriage, 160
A Few Things I’ve Learned Along the Way, 167
Money, 168
Getting Help, 169
Divorce, 170
Widowhood, 171
Friendship, 172
On Being a Daughter, 174
On Being a Grandmother, 176
Ten Things to Do with Grandchildren, 178
F O U R
Z how to work and have a life Z
Having It All, 183
Time to Take Stock, 186
It’s Not All Bad News, 189
Getting Help, 190
Sleep Problems, 190 • Child Care, 191
Throwing Money at the Problem, 193
Get Organized, 195
Learn to Compromise, 196
Stress Relievers, 198