The Tactful Teacher: Effective Communication with Parents, Colleagues, and Administrators

142 Pages·2005·0.9 MB·English

by  Yvonne Bender

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Tactful
The
Teacher
Effective
Communication
with Parents,
Colleagues,
and Administrators
Yvonne Bender
Nomad Press
A division of Nomad Communications
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
Copyright © 2005 by Nomad Press
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without
permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer
who may quote brief passages in a review.
The trademark “Nomad Press” and the Nomad Press
logo are trademarks of Nomad Communications, Inc.
Printed in the United States.
ISBN: 0-9749344-3-7
Questions regarding the ordering of this book should
be addressedto Independent Publishers Group
814 N. Franklin St.
Chicago, IL 60610
Nomad Press
2456 Christian St.
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www.nomadpress.net
Also by Yvonne Bender:
The Power of Positive Teaching: 35 Successful Strategies for Active,
Enthusiastic Classroom Participation
and
The New Teacher’s Handbook:
Practical Strategies & Techniques for Success in the Classroom
Acknowledgments
I wish to gratefully acknowledge the following people
for their assistance in writing The Tactful Teacher:
Melanie Gaieski for many hours spent reading
and reviewing, designing charts and forms,
and offering advice on content and style.
Lauri Berkenkamp for editing that greatly improved the book.
Table of Contents
Part I:
Building Effective Communication 3
Ten Strategies for Building Effective Communication
• Adjust Your Communication to Fit the Situation 5
• Follow Your School’s Chain of Command 7
• Open Lines of Communication 10
• Begin Positively 10
• Practice Active Listening 12
• Emphasize Areas of Agreement 14
• Be Willing to Compromise 15
• Respect Confidentiality 15
• Avoid Gossip 16
• End on a Positive Note 18
Part II:
Tailoring Communication for a Perfect Fit 19
Communicating With Parents 20
Communicating With Administrators 33
Communicating With Colleagues 41
Communicating With the Community 46
Part III:
Communicating With Difficult People 53
Communicating Effectively With Angry People 54
• Peeved Parent 59
• Annoyed Administrator 63
• Cranky Colleague 65
• Crabby Custodian 69
Communicating With Overly Controlling People 71
• Authoritarian Administrator 75
• Overly Helpful Parent 77
• Charmingly Assertive Colleague 82
Communicating Effectively With Apathetic People 85
• Lassez-Faire Administrator 88
• Uninvolved Parent 92
• Indifferent Colleague 96
Communicating Effectively With Anxious People 98
• Overly Protective Parent 102
• Indecisive Administrator 104
• Insecure Colleague 107
Part IV:
Communicating Under Duress 110
Communicating Unpleasant Information 110
• To Parents 113
• To Administrators 117
• To Colleagues 122
Communicating in Less-Than-Ideal Circumstances 125
• In Impersonal Learning Environments 125
• In Cynical Environments 127
• In Fearful Environments 128
Appendix:
Interpreting Non-Verbal Communication 131
• Body Language 132
• Detrimental Behavior 133
• Style of Dress 134
Introduction
As a beginning teacher many years ago, I was assigned a particularly
challenging group of students. On my first day on the job, the
assistant principal called me into his office and told me not to
worry about student discipline problems: he strongly supported
his teachers and if any students gave me a hard time, he would
deal with them. I was new to teaching and determined to begin
on the right foot. I spent long hours planning and preparing (what
I believed to be) engaging lessons, but was unable to teach them
because my students were so poorly behaved and uncooperative.
After several futile attempts to get things under control on my own,
I began sending the class troublemakers to my assistant principal,
as he had told me I should, so he could deal with them.
Unfortunately, this strategy did not improve matters; rather, it
made them worse. It wasn’t long before the assistant principal
called me into his office and asked me to stop sending so many
students to him.
“Ms. Bender,” he said. “I suggest you start building a more positive
rapport with your students. I want you to meet daily with Mr. X
and Ms. Y, who are veterans of this school, to get a few practical
pointers on how classroom management is really done.”
I did as directed, miserable that I had misunderstood my assistant
principal’s initial communication with me, and concerned that my
teaching career was about to end before it actually began.
With the help and guidance of some kind colleagues, I made it
through to the end of the year, and was even rewarded with a few,
small teaching successes that inspired me to continue to a second
year—and eventually a long and satisfying teaching career.

This rocky beginning forced me to quickly master basic classroom
management techniques, but equally important, it made me acutely
aware of the problems that result from confusing communication.
After my unpleasant experience with the assistant principal, I was
much more sensitive to all of the communications of others, and
thus more attuned to the exact meaning of those exchanges.
As I gained experience in the work world, I learned that good
communication builds good public relations—and good public
relations are essential to successful teaching. Teachers with effective
communication skills have more positive working relationships
not only with their students, but also with parents, administrators,
supervisors, resource personnel, and the community at large.
More importantly, their highly effective communication skills help
them resolve complex problems and avoid long-term difficulties
that teachers with weaker communication skills often struggle to
overcome.
When faced with angry parents, overly critical supervisors,
autocratic administrators, less than helpful guidance counselors,
or careless custodians, these tactful teachers employ strategies that
keep the lines of communication open, the dialogue collegial, and
help all concerned reach some measure of common agreement.
They employ definite strategies to master the politics of difficult
communication.
The Tactful Teacher contains many of these strategies and explains
in detail how to implement them. These strategies are based on
actual teaching experiences, and are explained in step-by-step
detail. They provide effective, easily implemented solutions to
vexing communication problems, and will help you communicate
in a proactive, positive, and respectfully assertive fashion with
those whose support and goodwill is essential to your teaching
success—even when the information you must communicate is
unpleasant and difficult.

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Part I
Building Effective
Communication
P
eople communicate both directly and indirectly. Most direct
communication is intentional and includes what we choose to
say, write, and do. When we teachers distribute guidelines for a
research paper, review them with our students, and insist that they
follow them, we are using direct communication.
In addition to direct communication we also communicate in
indirect and unintentional ways through body language, facial
expressions, and speech patterns. Most indirect communication is
the result of long habit, personality traits, and social customs. It
is unintentional and requires a concerted effort to control. The
beginning teacher who repeatedly asks “okay?” when working with
her class unintentionally communicates her lack of self-assurance to
her students, inadvertently inviting them to question her authority.
In order to communicate in a more authoritative manner, she must