The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women

265 Pages·2009·2.98 MB·English

by  Jessica Valenti

t he pu r it y my t h
How America’s
Obsession with

Virginity Is Hurting
Young Women
j e s s i c a v a l e n t i
Author of Full Frontal Feminism
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Pr aise for j essic a v ale nti
“A gutsy young third-wave feminist.”
—liesl schillinger, The New York Times
“Valenti’s writing has a wonderful defiant quality reminiscent of
the days of the movement’s youth.”
—linda hirshman, The Washington Post
“It’s hard not to love Jessica Valenti. The Brooklyn-based founder
of Feministing.com—the uncompromising, balls-out, feminist
blog—is brilliant, beautiful, and not even 30 years old.”
—BUST magazine
“Fierce and funny. . . . In-your-face feminism is what Valenti
is about.”
—antonia Zerbisias, The Toronto Star
“[Feministing] it is head and shoulders above almost any writing
on women’s issues in mainstream media.”
—alissa Quart, Columbia Journalism Review
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for FUll Fr o nTal FeminiS m
“Valenti writes slangy, profane and disconcertingly funny prose.
She’s like the Fran Lebowitz of women’s rights . . . ”
—rebecca traister, Salon.com
“Valenti’s analysis is cogent and sharp.”
—emma Kivisild, Herizons
“ . . . an irreverent guide to why young women should embrace
the F-word.”
—emma Pearse, New York Magazine
“Valenti’s book, packed with sound advice and solid research, is filled
with enough wit and sass to convince young women that feminism
is far from boring—that it is, in fact, necessary.”
—Patricia justine tumang, The Women’s Review of Books
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The Purity Myth
How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women
Copyright © 2009 by Jessica Valenti
Published by
Seal Press
A Member of Perseus Books Group
1700 Fourth Street
Berkeley, California
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may
quote brief excerpts in connection with a review.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Valenti, Jessica.
The purity myth : how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting
young women / Jessica Valenti.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-1-58005-253-5
ISBN-10: 1-58005-253-3
1. Young women—Sexual behavior—United States. 2. Virginity—Social
aspects—United States. I. Title.
HQ29.V338 2009
306.73—dc22
2008042226
Cover and Interior design by Domini Dragoone
Printed in the United States of America by Maple-Vail
Distributed by Publishers Group West
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f o r a n d r e w
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contents
introduction .............................. 9
1. the cult of virginity .................. 17
2. tainted love ............................... 41
3. forever young ............................ 61
4. the porn connection ................. 81

5. classroom chastity .................... 101
6. legislating sexuality .................. 121

7. public punishments ................... 145

8. beyond manliness ..................... 167
9. sex, morals, and
trusting women ......................... 185
10. post-virgin world ...................... 203
purity myth facts at a glance .... 217

questions for discussion ........... 221

notes ......................................... 223

resources ................................... 239

index ......................................... 251
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“I believe that there is an ideal of fastidiousness
in the world. An ideal of impossible purity in a
world that is, in its very essence, impure.”
m ar y g or d o n
in I Need to Tell Three Stories
and to Speak of Love and Death
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i nt ro duc t ion
there is a moral Panic in america over young women’s
sexuality—and it’s entirely misplaced. Girls “going wild” aren’t damaging a
generation of women, the myth of sexual purity is. The lie of virginity—the
idea that such a thing even exists—is ensuring that young women’s percep-
tion of themselves is inextricable from their bodies, and that their ability to
be moral actors is absolutely dependent on their sexuality. It’s time to teach
our daughters that their ability to be good people depends on their being good
people, not on whether or not they’re sexually active.
A combination of forces—our media- and society-driven virginity fetish,
an increase in abstinence-only education, and the strategic political rollback
of women’s rights among the primary culprits—has created a juggernaut of
9
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