The Power of Understanding People: The Key to Strengthening Relationships, Increasing Sales, and Enhancing Organizational Performance

210 Pages·2013·2.18 MB·English

by  Dave Mitchell

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3GFFIRS 11/09/2013 10:1:49 Pagei
T H E
P O W E R
O F
Understanding
P E O P L E
THE KEY TO STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIPS,
INCREASING SALES, AND ENHANCING
ORGANIZATIONAL PERFORMANCE
D A V E M I T C H E L L
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Cover image and design: Wiley
Copyright © 2014 by Dave Mitchell. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData:
Mitchell,Dave,1961-
Thepowerofunderstandingpeople:thekeytostrengtheningrelationships,increasingsales,
andenhancingorganizationalperformance/DaveMitchell.
pagescm
Includesindex.
ISBN978-1-118-72683-9(cloth);ISBN978-1-118-72689-1(ebk);
ISBN978-1-118-72688-4(ebk)
1. Customerrelations. 2. Customerservices. 3. Interpersonalrelations. I. Title.
HF5415.5.M5782013
650.1ʹ3—dc23
2013034150
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
3GFTOC 11/09/2013 10:20:45 Pageiii
Contents
Preface vii
Introduction WeAreAllDelusional! 1
SocioculturalSchemas 3
InteractiveStyles 4
HollywoodStyle! 10
ADisclaimer 11
TheAssessment 12
Chapter1 UnderstandingRomanticsandWarriors:
It’sFeelingsversusLogicforThese
Styles 17
Romantics 27
Warriors 28
iii
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iv Contents
Chapter2 UnderstandingExpertsandMasterminds:
TriedandTrueContrastedwith
Possibilities 33
Experts 46
Masterminds 48
Chapter3 The12InteractiveCombinations—
HollywoodStyle! 51
TheBestFriend 51
TheLoveInterest 56
TheCrusader 61
TheHiredGun 66
TheSage 71
ThePowerBroker 76
TheVoiceofReason 80
TheSpecialist 85
TheDetective 90
TheEccentric 97
TheSocialReformer 104
TheAdventurer 109
Chapter4 RecognizingEachStyle:TheBehavioral
CuesThatMightIndicateAnother
Person’sStyle 115
HowDoIRecognizeRomantics
andWarriors? 118
HowDoIRecognizeExpertsand
Masterminds 121
Chapter5 LeadingEachStyle:CreatingaHigh-
PerformingCulturebyUnderstanding
InteractiveStyle 127
CoachingandCounselingbyStyle 132
ProgressiveCounseling 134
ThingstoConsiderWhenCounselingEach
Style 137
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Contents v
Chapter6 SellingtoEachStyle:YouCanExpand
YourMarketSharebyAdjustingtoYour
Consumer’sInteractiveStyle 141
EstablishRapport 145
FramingTips 150
CommonObjections 159
HandlingObjectionModel 162
Chapter7 ProvidingCustomerServiceto
EachStyle:TheKeytoHighCustomer
SatisfactionResultsIsAdjustingtothe
Customer’sStyle 171
BehaviorBreedsBehavior 172
YouCanChooseYourBehavior 173
PositiveBehaviorOvercomesNegative
Behavior 173
InteractwithPeopletheWayTheyPrefer 174
ServingtheRomantic 174
ServingtheWarrior 175
ServingtheExpert 175
ServingtheMastermind 176
LASTModelofServiceRecovery 177
Chapter8 PersonalRelationshipsandInteractive
Style:BetterUnderstandFamilyand
FriendsandEnhanceYourMarriage 183
ConflictResolution 186
AModelforConflictResolution 188
Conclusion The UnusualGoalofanEducator 193
Index 196
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WEBPREF 11/16/2013 11:11:24 Page7
Preface
This book is the result of a lifetime of fascination with human
behavior.
“The world would be a wonderful place if it weren’t for
people,” exhaled my father. He had just dealt with an unhappy
customer who, in my father’s words, “didn’t just chew my ass
out; he chewed around it and let it drop out.”
Imusthaveheardmyfather—whohadaflairforbothprofanity
and cliché—utter that first sentence a hundred times growing
up.Hesoldappliancesandheatingandair-conditioningsystems
in a sleepy little town in rural Illinois. I learned—first from him,
andeventuallythroughoutlife—thatanyjobthatrequiresyouto
makeyourlivingsatisfyingthegeneralpublic’sneedswillinvolve
both good days and bad ones.
My dad was a good salesperson and more than competent at
buildingrapportwithawidevarietyofpeople.Still,thestressof
vii
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viii Preface
earning money based on making people happy—people with
differentexpectationsanddiverselifestyles—wasaconstantpart
ofhislife.Evenasakid,IwasawareoftheeffortsDaleMitchell
tooktobuildsuccessfulrelationships.Inmanyways,longbefore
my education and career choices, the seeds of my interest in
human behavior were sewn working in that little store in
Greenup, Illinois.
Thisbookistheculminationofyearsofinformalobservation,
academic research, and career responsibilities both inside the
corporate world and as an international speaker, author, and
consultant. It also contains my personal opinions, based on
practical experiences that, although not supported by formal
evidence, have worked for me. It is designed to be both enter-
tainingandinformativeandisorganizedaroundmyphilosophy
of learning: the three elements of absorb, connect, and apply,
depicted in Figure P.1.
Absorb activities expose you to information that you may or
may not already know. Think of sitting through a teacher’s
lecture or watching a television documentary. You watch with
interest(hopefully)andallowthecontenttoenteryourworking
Apply is
actually using
Connect the skills to
enhance your
means seeing
life.
the value of
the content in
Absorb means your daily life.
paying
attention to
content.
FIGUREP.1 ASimpleModelfortheTransferofLearning