The only-child adolescent's lived experience of parental divorce

146 Pages·2015·2.29 MB·English

The only-child adolescent’s lived
experience of parental divorce

DH Dorfman
23368489

Dissertation submitted in fulfilment of the requirements for the
degree Masters in Social Work in Play Therapy at the
Potchefstroom Campus of the North-West University

Supervisor: Mrs I.F. Jacobs

May 2015
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

With much appreciation and gratitude I would like to thank the following people who
contributed to this research and provided me with assistance, guidance and much
needed encouragement and motivation to complete this study.

Issie Jacobs, my study leader – thank you for all the support, guidance,
encouragement, motivation and enthusiasm you provided throughout this process.

The participant involved in the study – thank you for agreeing to be interviewed, for
your co-operation, honesty and willingness to share your experiences with me.

My family, friends and boyfriend – thank you for having the patience and support
during this time. Your love, guidance and encouragement will never be forgotten and
I appreciate your support and patience throughout this process.

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DECLARATION BY RESEARCHER

I hereby declare that this study, titled “The only-child adolescent’s lived experience of
parental divorce”, is my own work and that all references used or quoted have been
indicated and recognised.

_______________________ ________________
SIGNATURE DATE
Student number: 23368489

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DECLARATION BY LANGUAGE PRACTITIONER

I hereby declare that the thesis, The only-child adolescent’s lived experience of
parental divorce by Dayle Hayley Dorfman, has been language edited by me.

After a career as editor-in-chief at a leading publishing house, I now work as a
freelance text editor.

Lambert Daniel Jacobs (BA Hons, MA, BD, MDiv)
September 2014

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PREFACE
Due to the fact that only one participant partook in the study and she therefore might
be easily identifiable, the following ethical measures have been put into place in
discussing the data:
• Nor the participant’s name or those of her parents were mentioned, in order to
maintain her anonymity as well as that of her parents.
• Nor her school or suburb that she resides in was mentioned.
As it was extremely difficult to find information on the only-child adolescent, the
researcher made use of a few out-dated and classical sources within the text. One of
these is the work of Adler (1932), who was one of the first researchers to refer to an
only-child adolescent. His work even up to today is considered relevant and
applicable.

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ABSTRACT
The only-child adolescent’s lived experience of parental divorce.
The aim of this study was to explore and describe the experience of an only-child
adolescent’s lived experience of parental divorce. Gestalt field and
phenomenological theory in conjunction with current literature provided an overview
of the theoretical underpinnings pertaining to the study. A qualitative research
approach with a case study of an only-child adolescent dealing with parental divorce
was conducted in an ethical manner by means of two face to face, one-on-one, in
depth interviews.
Two main themes were identified. The first being experienced feelings associated
with grief and bereavement, which revealed feelings of anger in the notion that the
participant’s childhood was lost as a result of the divorce and being caught between
the parental conflicts. The participant seemed to take it upon herself to take care of
those significant to her in fear that she would lose them and that the loss would
continue to be repeated. It was further revealed that when the only-child adolescent
felt a loss of her own identity she in turn felt out of control. The second theme
identified was; experience pressure due to being an only-child. Pressure in being an
only-child was very significant surrounding the participant. The participant shared a
great deal of feelings pertaining to feeling lonely and longing for a sibling. As parents
in divorce situations seem to be focussed on their divorce often the child suffers from
stress and the unrealistic expectations parents often have surrounding their children.
In this study the only-child could not seem to cope with the pressure and in times of
despair made use of coping mechanisms, mainly that of cutting to compensate for
the emotional pain experienced.
The researcher is of the opinion that the study delivered new found awareness into
the only-child adolescent’s lived experience of parental divorce and is in hope that
the new found results are utilised as a platform for further studies about this
vulnerable population.

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KEY TERMS
Adolescent development
Only-child adolescent
Parental divorce
Trauma
Gestalt therapy

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OPSOMMING
Die adolessent as enigste kind se ervaring wanneer ouers skei.
Die doel van hierdie studie was om die subjektiewe ervaring van ’n adolessent as
enigste kind wie se ouers skei, te verken en te beskryf. Gestalt veldteorie en
fenomenologiese teorie in samewerking met die jongste literatuur; verskaf ’n oorsig
van hierdie teoretiese ondertoon. ’n Kwalitatiewe navorsingsbenadering met ’n
gevallestudie van ’n enigstekind- adolessent wie se ouers geskei is, is op ’n etiese
wyse uitgevoer deur middel van twee onderhoude wat in diepte uitgevoer is: van
aangesig tot aangesig, en een-tot-een.
Twee temas is geïdentifiseer. Die eerste is gevoelens wat verband hou met hartseer
en verlies, wat aan die lig gebring word deur gevoelens van woede en die idee dat
die deelnemer se kinderjare verlore gegaan het as gevolg van die egskeiding en die
deelnemer was ook vasgevang tussen die ouers se konflikte. Dit het voorgekom asof
die deelnemer dit op haarself geneem het om te sorg vir diegene rondom haar in
vrees dat sy hulle sou verloor en dat die verlies in die toekoms herhaal kon word. Die
studie het ook getoon dat die enigstekind- adolessent '’n verlies van haar eie
identiteit voel en op haar beurt het sy buite beheer gevoel. Die tweede tema wat
geïdentifiseer is, is die ervaring dat die adolossent onder druk was weens die feit dat
die adolossent die enigste kind is. Druk as ’n enigste kind het ’n gevoel geskep van
eensaamheid en die verlange na ’n broer of suster. Ouers in egskeidingsituasies is
baie gefokus op hulle egskeiding en dikwels ly die kind dus aan stres en die
onrealistiese verwagtinge wat ouers gewoonlik vir hulle kinders het. In hierdie
gevalle studie kom dit voor asof die enigste kind nie die druk kon hanteer nie en het
gebruik gemaak van meganismes om die druk te hanteer, veral die toedien van snye
in tye van wanhoop om te vergoed vir die emosionele pyn ervaar.
Die navorser is van mening dat die studie nuwe bewustheid kweek in die
enigstekind-adolessent se ervaring wanneer ouers skei en vertrou dat die
nuutgevonde resultate gebruik sal word as ’n platform vir verdere studies oor hierdie
kwesbare bevolkingsgroep.

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SLEUTELTERME

Adolessente ontwikkeling
Enkel adolessente kind
Ouers se egskeiding
Trauma
Gestaltterapie

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS i
DECLARATION BY RESEARCHER ii
DECLARATION BY LANGUAGE PRACTITIONER iii
PREFACE iv
ABSTRACT v
KEY TERMS vi
OPSOMMING vii
SLEUTELTERME viii

CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION TO THE STUDY 1
1.1 INTRODUCTION 1
1.2 PROBLEM STATEMENT 1
1.3 RESEARCH AIM AND OBJECTIVES 6
1.4 CENTRAL THEORETICAL ARGUMENT 7
1.5 RESEARCH METHODOLOGY 7
1.5.1 Literature review 7
1.5.2 Research design 7
1.5.3 Research method 8
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