The No-Self Help Book: Forty Reasons to Get Over Your Self and Find Peace of Mind

227 Pages·2018·3.88 MB·English

by  Kate Gustin

“Drawing on psychological research and clinical experience, Kate
Gustin offers a profound understanding of our truest identity under-
neath the mind’s story, helping us connect with the peaceful, inter-
connected consciousness at our core. The No-Self Help Book is a
refreshing and timely antidote to the rampant loneliness of our
times.”
—Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times bestselling
author of Happy for No Reason
“Kate Gustin’s The No-Self Help Book is a new approach to emo-
tional healing that provides simple, clear-minded lessons on getting
away from the negative, bullying voice of the constructed self. As
you learn to ignore the false narrative, you’ll see yourself through
new eyes as you discover that you’re not who the voice inside you
says you are, or who you pretend to be. Instead, you discover the
authentic being within each of us who is capable of relaxed joy and
awareness.”
—Anne Lamott, author of Almost Everything
“If you were to try to define yourself, how would you do that and
what would your SELF look like? Treat yourself to the concept of
NO SELF and discover how you are not just your mind’s stories.”
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Love
“Kate Gustin’s quirky and compelling book subtracts the self out of
self-help! She communicates a powerful and ageless spiritual truth
in a way that is accessible, humorous, and compassionate. Highly
recommended!”
—Mariana Caplan, PhD, MFT,
author of Yoga and Psyche and Eyes Wide Open
“Kate Gustin has written a book that is at once insightful, refresh-
ing, playful, and truly wise. The No-Self Help Book goes to the very
root of our unhappiness and insecurity: as long as we think we’re
separate from the rest of life, we aren’t enough and will remain stuck
in the prison of our minds. When we learn to see ourselves from the
illuminating perspective presented in these pages, we can under-
stand that from the beginning we were always enough just as we are.
Then we can play at being who we truly are instead of taking our-
selves so seriously. How liberating!”
—James Baraz, cofounder of Spirit Rock Meditation
Center in Woodacre, CA; coauthor of Awakening Joy
THE
NO-SELF
HELP
BOOK
40
Reasons to
Get Over Your Self &
Find Peace of Mind
KATE GUSTIN, PhD
NON-DUALITY PRESS
An Imprint of New Harbinger Publications
Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information
in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the
publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other
professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of
a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2018 by Kate Gustin
Non-Duality Press
An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup; Acquired by Elizabeth Hollis Hansen;
Edited by Jean Blomquist
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
To the Great Mystery,
with gratitude
from a “spiritual being having a human experience.”
(Pierre Teilhard de Chardin)
A human being is part of the whole, called
by us “Universe,” a part limited in time
and space. He experiences himself, his
thoughts and feelings as something
separate from the rest—a kind of optical
delusion of his consciousness. The striving
to free oneself from this delusion…to try
to overcome it is the way to reach the
attainable measure of peace of mind.
—Albert Einstein
Contents
Foreword ix
Introduction 1
Part 1: Selfhoods
1. The Imposter Self 11
2. The Self Slices and Dices 13
3. The Self Freezes 15
4. The Dictator Self 17
5. The Self Seeks Esteem 19
6. The Self Wants 21
7. The Self Needs 23
8. The Self Whines 25
9. The Self Is Picky 27
10. The Self Smirks 29
11. The Self Strikes Out 31
12. The Self Steals Credit 33
13. The Self Is Selfish 35
14. The Self Gets Rejected 36
15. The Self Checks Out 38
The No-Self Help Book
16. The Self Stays Stuck 40
17. The Self Second-Guesses 42
18. The Self Suffers Scarcity 44
19. The Self Erodes 46
20. The Self Dies 48
Part 2: No-Self Speaks
21. No-Self: The Biggest Bang 53
22. No-Self: Fuel Efficient 55
23. No-Self: The Better Lover 57
24. No-Self, No Shoulding 59
25. No-Self, No Calories 61
26. No-Self, No Judgment 63
27. No-Self, No Time to Lose 65
28. No-Self, No Tests 66
29. No-Self: Selfless Parenting 68
30. No-Self Tastes Better. 70
31. No-Self, No Lost or Found 72
32. No-Self, No Lack 74
33. No-Self, No Target 76
34. No-Self, No Aging 78
vi