The lost art of the good schmooze : building rapport and defusing conflict in everyday and public talk

238 Pages·2011·1.246 MB·English

by  Boxer, Diana

The Lost Art of the
Good Schmooze

The Lost Art of the
Good Schmooze
Building Rapport and
Defusing Confl ict in
Everyday and
Public Talk
DIANA BOXER
Copyright 2011 by Diana Boxer
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise,
except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without prior
permission in writing from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Boxer, Diana, 1948-
The lost art of the good schmooze: Building rapport and defusing confl ict in
everyday and public talk / Diana Boxer.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-313-38341-0 (hard copy : alk. paper)—ISBN 978-0-313-38342-7
(ebook) 1. Social interaction. I. Title.
HM1111.B68 2011
302.3(cid:2)46—dc22 2010049790
ISBN: 978-0-313-38341-0
EISBN: 978-0-313-38342-7
15 14 13 12 11 1 2 3 4 5
This book is also available on the World Wide Web as an eBook.
Visit www.abc-clio.com for details.
Praeger
An Imprint of ABC-CLIO, LLC
ABC-CLIO, LLC
130 Cremona Drive, P.O. Box 1911
Santa Barbara, California 93116-1911
This book is printed on acid-free paper
Manufactured in the United States of America
This book is dedicated to my father, Ben Boxer—
master of the lost art of the good schmooze

Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction xi
Chapter 1 The Good Schmooze in Social Interaction 1
Chapter 2 Schmoozing in the Family 43
Chapter 3 Schmoozing at Work in the Workplace 79
Chapter 4 The Good Schmooze in Education 115
Chapter 5 Schmoozing Cross-Culturally 147
Chapter 6 Conclusion: The Lost Art 177
Glossary 191
Bibliography 193
Index 197

Acknowledgments
Many people supported me in the writing of this book, and I wish
to express my sincere gratitude to all of them. My husband, Joseph
Cook, put up with my long hours at the desk; moreover, he not only
read and meticulously commented on parts of the manuscript, but he
also urged me to take iced tea breaks, eat meals, and even get away
for recreational activities. He deserves my heartfelt thanks. My dear
friend Angel Kwolek-Folland not only gave me feedback on earlier
drafts, but also fed me at her home time and again during the book’ s
preparation. Thank you, Angel, for urging me to watch Gator foot-
ball when I felt that I should have been writing. My research assistant,
Caroline Kennelly Latterman, proofread each chapter, told me what
worked and what did not, and did a lot of tedious work on endnotes
and the bibliography—all while preparing for her own wedding. My
lovely daughters, Marin Feldman Xavier and Brooke Feldman; their
husbands, Ricardo Xavier and Scott Hinzman; and my wonderful step-
sons, Alexander and Zachary Cook, gave me the family nurturing so
needed during this project. These grown children provided endless
data on family schmoozing. Finally, my thanks to my editor at Praeger,
Valentina Tursini, who tolerated my frequent e-mail queries and still
always provided positive and encouraging words.