The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need: Repress Your Anger, Think Negatively, Be a Good Blamer, and Throttle Your Inner Child

294 Pages·2007·10.12 MB·English

by  Paul Pearsall

T he L a st
S e l f - H e lp B o ok
Y ou ll E v er N e ed
He press Your Anger,
I h i n k N eg a I i ve ly,
Be a Go o d BI a m e r>
and Throttle Your Inner Child
P A UL P E A H S A L L, P H. D .
HOOKS
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
New York Go to Ne
Table of Contents
2
Title Page
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Introduction
PART I - Why Self-Help Hasn't Helped
Chapter 1 - Self-Help Needs Our Help
FIND A PITCH AND PULP IT
THE SELLING OF SILLINESS
THE FATHERS OF SELF-HELP
DONAHUE. DR. RUTH. AND THE KINSEY INSTITUTE
THE GURUTOCRACY ELITE
THE TONO-BUNGAY EFFECT
CLOSED MIND. OPEN WALLET
LETHAL PLATITUDES
WHO SAYS SO AND HOW DO THEY KNOW?
SCIENCE OR SCIENTISM?
WITHIN OR BETWEEN?
THE MONSTER BETWEEN
WHAT KIND OF A PRISON GUARD WOULD YOU BE?
I'VE HAD MY FILL OF DR. PHIL
CREATIVE SELF-HELP
Chapter 2 - The Facts of Life?
THE "WIDENING CIRCLE" PHENOMENON
FARFETCHED MEMORIES
SUPPRESSING THE IDEA OF REPRESSION
THE ESTEEMED CONCEPT OF SELF-ESTEEM
GUILT: THE NOBLE EMOTION
NEGATIVITY AS STRATEGY. NOT SYMPTOM
THE ADDICTION FICTION
A LESSON FROM RATS IN PARADISE
SELF-HELP HERESY
MAYBE. MAYBE NOT
Chapter 3 - Savoring Your Own Good Life
THE SILENT EPIDEMIC
MINDFULNESS VERSUS EVALUATION
WHY POSITIVE THINKING IS DEPRESSING
THE WISDOM OF A FOUR-YEAR-OLD MIND
HAPPINESS STRESS
DARK CLOUDS WITH GRAY LININGS
TRANS-PARENT SURGERY
DR. BUDDHA'S FOUR TRUTHS
RE-MINDING OURSELVES
THE WISDOM OF BEING ' LIGHT"-HEADED
PART II -... And How It Can
Chapter 4 - Developing a Contrarian Consciousness
HOT AND COLD RUNNING PEOPLE
THE POWER OF THE MADE-UP MIND
QUITE THE CONTRARY
SOME IDEAS OF MINE THAT YOU SHOULD NOT
ACCEPT
SHATTERING THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
TEN CONTRARY COMMANDMENTS OF SELF-HELP
Chapter 5 - Love Lies and Why We Believe Them
PROPOSITIONS ABOUT LOVE
MISMANAGED UNIONS
LESSONS FROM TERMITES
WHY HAPPILY MARRIED PEOPLE AREN'T IN LOVE
WHY CAN'T WE STAY TOGETHER?
BLINDED BY THE LIGHT OF YOUR LIFE
BONDING. BOREDOM. AND BLISS
LOVE'S TWO SIDES
REJECTION SENSITIVITY
A HEALTHY LOVE TRIANGLE
TOO SELFISH FOR LASTING LOVE?
OPPOSITES DISTRACT
PROPOSITIONS OF LOVE
THE LOVE-WORTHY TEST
Chapter 6 - Committed to a Family Asylum
PROPOSITIONS ABOUT "FAMILYING"
DELIGHTFULLY DYSFUNCTIONAL
SAFETY IN THE MADHOUSE
FAMILIES AREN'T FOR CHILDREN
THE PROBLEM AND PRIVILEGE OF PARENTING
FAMILY LESSONS FROM THE IRON MAIDEN
TOO MUCH CREDIT. TOO MUCH BLAME
RESILIENT TWIGS
LOST CHILDREN
GROWING DOWN INSTEAD OF UP
THE QUESTION OF A LIFETIME
THE DECISION TO DIVORCE
PROPOSITIONS ABOUT FAMILYING
Chapter 7 - A Lively Livelihood
PROPOSITIONS ABOUT WORKING
WORKING TOWARD POVERTY
TOXIC-SUCCESS SYNDROME
W'IST-FULL
SPIRITUAL UNEMPLOYMENT
THE PRIVILEGE OF DOING GOOD WORK
ROSY THE HEALER
PSYCHOLOGICAL ABSENTEEISM
THE BLISS AND BENEFITS OF BEING TYPE A
Chapter 8 - Escape from Health Hysteria
PROPOSITIONS ABOUT HEALTH AND HEALING
HOW ARE YOU?
THE GREAT DIET SCAM
PERPETUAL PATIENTS
ARE WE ALL CRAZY?
FIVE PROPOSITIONS ABOUT HEALTH AND
HEALING
Chapter 9 - Overcoming the Burden of Youth
PROPOSITIONS ABOUT AGING
THE GIFT OF A THIRD LIFETIME
WHAT'S WRONG WITH LOOKING YOUR AGE?
AGING IS A LAUGHING MATTER
GERONTOLOGY OR PATHOLOGY?
FEELING OUR AGE AND SAVORING IT
SAME PERSON. DIFFERENT BODY
THE CIRCLE OF OLD LIFE
GRAYING OR GLOWING?
FIVE PROPOSITIONS ABOUT AGING
Chapter 10 - Healthy Dying and Good Grieving
PROPOSITIONS ABOUT DYING AND GRIEVING
A QUESTION FOR EINSTEIN
WHAT DOES DYING MEAN AND WHAT'S THE
BENEFIT?
SELF-HELP'S WORST FEAR
THERE WAS AN ELEPHANT IN MY ROOM
CLAUDIA'S GENTLE DEATH
THE DEATH DELUSION
NOTES ON NARCISSISM
THE MAGIC OF MEMORIES
WATER LOGIC
TIMELESS SOULS
FIVE PROPOSITIONS ABOUT DYING
EPILOGUE
Notes
Index
Copyright Page
ALSO BY PAUL PEARSALL 5
Super Immunity: Master Your Emotions and Improve Your Health
Super Marital Sex: Loving for Life
Super Joy: Learning to Celebrate Everyday Life
The Power of the Family: Strength. Comfort, and Healing
Making Miracles
The Ten Laws of Lasting Love
A Healing Intimacy: The Power of Loving Connections
The Pleasure Prescription:
To Love. To Work. To Play, Life in the Balance
Write Your Own Pleasure Prescription
The Heart's Code: Tapping the Wisdom and Power of Our Heart
Energy
Wishing Well: Making Your Every Wish Come True
Partners in Pleasure:
Sharing Success. Creating Joy, Fulfilling Dreams... Together
Miracle in Maui: Let Miracles Happen in Your Life
Toxic Success: How to Stop Striving and Start Thriving
The Beethoven Factor: The New Positive Psychology of
Hardiness, Happiness. Healing, and Hope
T he Last
S e l f - H e lp Book
You'll Ever N e ed
Repress Your Anger,
Think Negatively,
Be a Good Blamer,
and Throlile Your Inner Child
P A U L P E A R S A L L, P H . D.
With aloha
for my wife. Celest, my sons, Scott and Roger,
my mother, Carol,
and in loving memory of my father, Frank