Table Of ContentTHE JEWISH HOME
A Guide for Jewish Living
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The
Jewish Home
A GUIDE TO THE
Jewish Holidays
and Life Cycles
• REVISED EDITION •
DANIEL B. SYME
URJ PRESS • NEW YORK, NEW YORK
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Contents
Foreword vii 6. Chanukah 38
Acknowledgments ix Some Historical Background 38
Introduction xi Ceremonies, Symbols,
Customs 4l
1. The Mezuzah 1
7. Tu BiSh vat 45
2. Shabbat 3
Shabbat Candles 3 8. Purim 49
The Friday Night Shabbat The Story and the Message 49
Kiddush 5 The Celebration 53
The Shabbat Challah 7
Blessing One s Children on 9. Pesach 57
Shabbat 8 Some Background 57
Shabbat Havdalah 10 Chameitz 60
Matzah 62
3. Rosh HaShanah 14 The Seder Table 64
An Unusual New Year 14 The Seder 67
Customs and Symbols 16 The Haggadah 69
Some Little-Known Facts 71
4. Yom Kippur 20
10. Lag BaOmer 75
5. Sukkot 27
Some Historical Background 27 11. Shavuot 80
The Sukkah 28
The Lulav and the Etrog 30 12. TishahB’Av 85
Hoshana Rabbah, Sh’mini Atzeret,
Simchat Torah 32
CONTENTS
13. BritMilah, B’rit HaChayim 90 17. The Jewish Divorce 149
BritMilah: Some Historical Some Biblical History 149
Background 90 Divorce in the Talmud 151
Brit Milah: Preparations and The Rights and Responsibilities of
Participants 94 Husband and Wife 153
B’rit Milah and B’rit HaChayim: The Get 156
The Ceremony 96
18. Death and Mourning 159
14. Names 101 The Moment of Death 159
Some Background 101 Preparing the Body for Burial 162
Some Jewish Teachings, What Happens after We Die? 167
Superstitions, and Favorites 104 Jewish Positions on Autopsy,
Embalming, and
15. Rites of Passage 108 Cremation 169
Pidyon HaBen: Redemption of Preparing for the Funeral Service,
the Firstborn Son 108 Part One 171
Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Some Historical Preparing for the Funeral Service,
Background 111 Part Two 174
Celebrating Bar/Bat The Funeral Service 177
Mitzvah 113 At the Cemetery 180
Confirmation 117 The Kohein and Some General
Background 184
16. The Jewish Wedding 121 Shivah: Some General
Some Biblical History 121
Background 185
Some Talmudic Background 124 Shivah: The Home and the Meal
The Institution of the
of Consolation 188
Shadchan 127 Shivah: The Condolence
Preparations for the Wedding in Call 191
Times Gone By 130 Shivah: Customs and
The Chuppah and the Ring 134
Restrictions 193
The Ketubah 136 The Kaddish 196
The Modern Ceremony,
Sh’loshim and the Year of
Part One 139
Mourning 199
The Modern Ceremony,
The Tombstone 201
Part Two 142
The Unveiling 204
The Modern Ceremony,
Yahrzeit Yizkor 206
Part Three 145
Further UR] Press Resources 209
VI
Foreword
It is frequently said that the synagogue makes Jews, while other Jewish organiza¬
tions make use of Jews. That is only partly true. The synagogue has a symbiotic
relationship with the home. If the home is Jewishly illiterate and indifferent, the
synagogue can labor mightily, but its impact will be diminished.
A vibrant Jewish home is the seed-bed of Jewish culture, identity, and practice.
A cardiac Judaism—“I feel it in my heart”—is grossly inadequate. Only a Jewish
life that is knowledgeable and rooted in Jewish history and practice can be truly
authentic.
It is crucial that we, as Reform Jews, have the background that enables us to
choose rites, practices, and ceremonies that are meaningful to us. It is slander to sug¬
gest that “it is easy to be a Reform Jew” because no demands are made on us. In
truth, it is hard to be an authentic Reform Jew. We have to know what Judaism is
all about so that we can use our best judgment and make our own choices about a
Jewish life-style congenial to our values.
In helping Reform Jews to make such choices. Rabbi Daniel Syme has made a
unique contribution through The Jewish Home. Rabbi Syme credits me with the
idea. I am honored; it is one of my better ideas. Rabbi Syme has given us a practi¬
cal guide on how each of us can own a portion of a faith—modern, yet ancient—
whose values resonate through all of human history and can enrich our lives today.
Reform Jews give to halachah (Jewish law) a respectful vote but not a veto. Such
choices cannot be made by the ill-informed, for Judaism must never be reduced to
a religion of convenience. Rabbi Syme has shared with us the Jewish materials we
need to choose wisely from the richness of Jewish religious experience.
—Albert Vorspan
vii
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Acknowledgments
From the Original Edition
The‘ ‘Jewish Home” series in Reform Judaism magazine came into being in 1974 at
the suggestion of Albert Vorspan, senior vice president of the UAHC. Over the
ensuing thirteen years, dozens of friends generously helped to shape the contents of
this book, far too many to mention each by name. There are some, however, who
must be singled out for special thanks.
Aron Hirt-Manheimer, Joy Weinberg, and the staff of Reform Judaism kept the
series on deadline and on track. Stuart L. Benick, UAHC director of publications,
oversaw the production of each “Jewish Home” booklet and this single volume with
his rare genius. Josette Knight and Annette Abramson meticulously copyedited each
of the more than sixty articles, selected photographs that sensitively reflected the
tone of each piece in turn, and made countless wise editorial suggestions.
Close to one hundred colleagues read one or more of the individual articles. I
wish to thank them all, but particularly Rabbi Bernard Zlotowitz, who served as
chief scholarly advisor for the series. Rabbis Steven M. Reuben, Howard O.
Laibson, Emily Feigenson, Ronald Mass, Nina Mizrahi, Paul Yedwab, Jeffrey Perry-
Marx, Gary Bretton-Granatoor, and Herman Snyder made particularly significant
comments over the years, as did Edith Samuel, z”l, and Judith Spiegler Paskind.
Finally, no individual contributed more to this book than my secretary, Eppie
Begleiter. She typed each article with painstaking attention, always encouraging,
always caring. She is a special treasure.
IX
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
For the New Edition
This new edition of The Jewish Home could not have come into being without the
help of several people in particular. I would like to thank my colleagues at the now
URJ Press, including Ken Gesser, Rabbi Hara Person, Rabbi Suzanne Singer, Annie
Belford, Jeremy Master, Christine Sweeney, Liane Broido, Joel Eglash, and Debra
Hirsch Gorman, all of whom contributed to this revision.
In doing this revision, there were many things to consider. Rabbi Suzanne Singer
and rabbinic students Annie Belford and Jeremy Master were particularly helpful in
this process. In working on this revision, it has been wonderful to see the ways in
which Reform Judaism continues to evolve. Holidays like Yom HaAtzma-ut and
Tishah B Av are now more widely observed than they had been when this book was
first published. However, because they are not home celebrations but primarily syn¬
agogue or community based, I did not create new chapters on these holidays. I have
made revisions in this new edition to reflect changes in Reform Jewish practice since
this book was first published. Many of these changes are a result of the increased
role of women in Jewish life, even since the original printing of this book in 1988.
Some changes reflect the greater voice that Jewish tradition and traditional practices
now have in the Reform Movement of the twenty-first century. Other changes cor¬
respond to the transformation that has occurred in the Jewish family in the last fif¬
teen years, as our definition of family has continued to expand. The order of the
book has also been changed to correspond to the yearly holiday cycle, in the hope
of making this book even more helpful.
I hope this will book will answer questions, challenge preconceived notions, and
give you a taste for more Jewish living and more Jewish learning!
X
