The Highly Intuitive Child: A Guide to Understanding and Parenting Unusually Sensitive and Empathic Children

219 Pages·2009·2.68 MB·English

by  Catherine Crawford

FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / CHILD DEVELOPMENT
A gentle and insightful approach to parenting children with highly intuitive abilities or C
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e are all sensitive, intuitive and empathic to one degree or another. But some of us are born more so.
The highly intuitive child may pick up on unspoken issues in the home and take on the emotions of friends,
absorb the mood in a classroom or in the world at large and even anticipate dangerous situations.
The acutely receptive intuition of these children is always “on,” acting as a sixth sense. Because this
emotional and sensory input is added to what they take in through the other five senses it can be difficult
to cope with, and their sensitivity can result in
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OFFERS PRACTICAL
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ADVICE ON HELPING
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RECOGNIZE THEIR
Catherine Crawford,
If you recognize these traits in a child, you can help. GIFT AND THRIVE,
MFT, ATR, is a licensed INCLUDING
Marriage and Family
Hearing and Helping the Sensitive Child Therapist and Registered
In this practical guide, therapist and mother Catherine Crawford Art Therapist with 20 * howlifeisdifferent
provides the tools and insight you need to recognize and honor the gifts years of experience forintuitive,
of the intuitive child in your life while minimizing the challenges that providing therapy to empathickids
children and adults of
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specializes in the unique leavinghome
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andvisualization children and adults. * resources
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You will also find inspiring stories of the intuitive child’s journey into adulthood and insights into forparents
how cultures around the world embrace the gifts of empathy and intuition. Most importantly, andfamilies
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The Highly Intuitive Child gives you what you need right now – ways to understand, nurture and esig
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Banodo kcso mfomr huenaitlyth, family www.hunterhouse.com over D HHuonutseer FOREWORD BY paul foxman, PhD
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The Highly Intuitive Child
“ Outlines 10 important skills that parents can teach intuitive children
ranging from learning how to tell the difference between random fears
and intuition, to how to turn down the volume on ‘intuitive antennae.’
Offers sincere support and practical information to parents searching
to aid and more deeply understand their highly intuitive child.”
— Publishers Weekly
“ One of the most important gifts we can give our children is to help
them trust themselves. When we trust ourselves, we possess an inner
compass on life that no one can take away. I can’t think of a better gift
to give a child. May this book help in keeping the inner compass of in-
tuition and empathy alive and thriving in our children.”
— From the book
DEDICATION
Dedicated to Ariela Rose,
the light of my life
Ordering
Trade bookstores in the U.S. and Canada please contact:
Publishers Group West
1700 Fourth Street, Berkeley CA 94710
Phone: [phone] Fax: [phone]
Hunter House books are available at bulk discounts for textbook
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For details please contact:
Special Sales Department
Hunter House Inc., PO Box 2914, Alameda CA 94501-0914
Phone: [phone] Fax: [phone]
E-mail: [email protected]
Individuals can order our books from most bookstores,
by calling [phone], or from our website at
www.hunterhouse.com
a guide to understanding
and parenting unusually
sensitive and empathic children
Catherine Crawford,
mft, atr
Copyright © 2009 by Catherine Crawford
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying
and recording, or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system
without the written permission of the copyright owner and the publisher of
this book. Brief quotations may be used in reviews prepared for inclusion in a
magazine, newspaper, or for broadcast. For further information please contact:
Hunter House Inc., Publishers
PO Box 2914
Alameda CA 94501-0914
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Crawford, Catherine.
The highly intuitive child : a guide to understanding and parenting unusually
sensitive and empathic children / Catherine Crawford. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-0-89793-509-8 (pbk.)
ISBN-10: 0-89793-509-8 (pbk.)
1. Intuition. 2. Sensitivity (Personality trait) 3. Empathy in children.
4. Parenting. I. Title.
BF315.5.C73 2008
155.45'5—dc22 2008031400
Project Credits
Cover Design: Brian Dittmar Senior Marketing Associate:
Graphic Design Reina Santana
Book Production: John McKercher Publicity Intern: Sean Harvey
Copy Editor: Mary Miller Rights Coordinator: Candace Groskreutz
Proofreader: John David Marion Customer Service Manager:
Indexer: Nancy D. Peterson Christina Sverdrup
Editor: Alexandra Mummery Order Fulfillment: Washul Lakdhon
Editorial Intern: Kimberley Merriss Administrator: Theresa Nelson
Editorial Intern: Ruoji Tang Computer Support: Peter Eichelberger
Production Assistant: Amy Hagelin Publisher: Kiran S. Rana
Printed and Bound by Bang Printing, Brainerd, Minnesota
Manufactured in the United States of America
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First Edition 09 10 11 12 13
contents
foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi
acknowledgments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xiii
introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
My Experience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
My Inspiration for Writing this Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Pushing Past Barriers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Indigo Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
My Approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Some Limits to this Work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
An Invitation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
chapter 1
who is the highly intuitive child? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Defining Intuition and Empathy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
A Gift Set to the “On” Position. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Stronger Intuition or Empathy Can Make a Difference . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Intuitive Thinkers vs. Intuitive Feelers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Intuition in Action . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
How Do You Know If You Have an Intuitive Child?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
v
vi The Highly Intuitive Child
The Strengths of Being an Intuitive Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
How Your Parental Response to Your Children Impacts Their Lives. . . . 20
Overview of the Ten Important Life Skills for Intuitive Children. . . . . . 22
chapter 2
common challenges faced by
intuitive children. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Telling the Difference Between Intuitions and Random Fears . . . . . . . . 29
Telling the Truth and Protecting Our Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Challenges at School for the Intuitive Child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Magical Thinking vs. Intuition. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Understanding the Intuitive Antenna . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Intuitive Children Tuning in to the Pain of the World. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
chapter 3
stress and the intuitive child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Your Stress Is My Stress. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Intuitive Empathy and Social Neuroscience Discoveries . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
The Intuitive Child under Stress. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
How to Spot Stress in an Intuitive Child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Trouble Asking for Help . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
How Collective Attitudes about Intuition Impact
Children’s Stress Levels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Social Stress for Intuitive Children. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
The Stress of Feeling Different . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
The Importance of Safety in Helping Intuitive
Children Manage Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
The Value of Meditation in Calming Children’s Stress Levels . . . . . . . . 55
Review of Calming the Intuitive Child’s Stress. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Contents vii
chapter 4
when an intuitive child needs
professional help. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Anxiety . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Depression. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
The Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) Question . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
Sensory Processing Disorder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Trauma and Intuitive Children. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Finding Help for Your Child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
chapter 5
the care and keeping of intuitive,
empathic bodies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
The Body Doesn’t Lie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
Teaching Children How to Trust Their Inner Yes and No. . . . . . . . . . . 70
Similarities to the Highly Sensitive Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
What We Can Learn from Holistic Therapies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Diet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
Exercise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Sleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Home Energy Hygiene . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Additional Settling at Bedtime . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
chapter 6
boundaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Ducks and Sponges: Why Some Children Need More Support
in Learning How to Set Boundaries. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
The Differences Between Intuitive and Empathic Boundaries . . . . . . . . 87
viii The Highly Intuitive Child
The Importance of a Clear Yes or No in Boundary Setting. . . . . . . . . . . 88
Visualizing a Protection Bubble . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
Put It in a Bubble . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
Rebalancing after Boundary Intrusions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
When Boundaries Become Complicated for Children. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
When a Situation Is Beyond Energy Deflection Skills. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
Empowered Boundaries and Exercising Flexibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
Intuitive Needs vs. Childhood Wants: Savvy Boundaries . . . . . . . . . . . 96
Journaling Questions about Boundaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
chapter 7
parenting the intuitive child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Your Intuitive Child Is Watching You Closely . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
The Importance of Congruency in Communicating
with Your Child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
How Intuitive Children Can Tune in to Your Marriage. . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
The Pros and Cons of Being a Sensate Parent
to an Intuitive Child. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Children and Conflicts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
When Intuitive Children Overuse Their Gifts
to Take Care of Others. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Handling Sticky Situations Created by
a Child’s Telepathy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
How Your Own Intuition Can Help Your Parenting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
How Intuitive Children Respond to Parenting
from the Heart. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
Parenting Based on Listening to and Respecting the Child . . . . . . . . . . 112
Being Kind to Yourself. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113