The High-Conflict Custody Battle: Protect Yourself and Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations, and Parental Alienation

241 Pages·2014·2.25 MB·English

by  Amy J.L. Baker

“When three great minds like these collaborate, a prism is created
through which a light of wisdom can shine in the darkest of places.
A must- read for all people touched by this unfathomable dilemma.”
— Judge Michele Lowrance (ret), mediator and author of
The Good Karma Divorce and Parental Alienation 911
“In each journey through parental alienation, it is easy to lose the
way. What seems to be a clear and just path in navigating family
court is not always reality. Amy J. L. Baker, Brian Ludmer, and J.
Michael Bone have given alienated parents a comprehensive road
map that allows them to make their journey through this highly
emotional period with level heads and hearts. The authors’ work
empowers readers and leaves them feeling revived, secure, and con-
fident as they travel to their final destination: reunification with
their children.”
— Jill Egizii, president of the Parental Alienation
Awareness Organization, USA
“The High- Conflict Custody Battle is a joint effort by writers with
complementary skills and expertise: Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is a
research psychologist who has studied child psychological abuse; J.
Michael Bone, PhD, is a clinical and forensic psychologist; and
Brian Ludmer, BComm, LLB, is an attorney whose practice focusses
on high conflict family law. The three authors have created a book
that is both scholarly and highly practical, which will be helpful for
mothers and fathers who find themselves coping with a difficult,
overly litigious marital separation or divorce. The book addresses in
detail the personal and legal crises that frequently occur in high-
conflict divorce, such as parental alienation; allegations of domes-
tic violence and child sexual abuse; and undertaking a child custody
evaluation. It is notable that the authors acknowledge that all the
participants in these legal battles have both flaws and biases, so no
one is expected to be perfect. Although this book is primarily
intended for divorcing parents, it will also be good reading for
mental health and legal professionals, including judges.”
— William Bernet, MD, professor emeritus in the
department of psychiatry, Vanderbilt University School
of Medicine, Nashville, TN
“Having recently tried the most publicized parental alienation case
to a successful conclusion, I highly recommend this book for parents
coping with an alienating spouse. The authors have provided an
effective guide to assist parents through difficult litigation. This
book should be read by every targeted parent.”
— Jim Pritikin, fellow of The American Academy of
Matrimonial Lawyers
The
HigH-ConfliCt
C U S t oD Y
B a t t l e
Protect Yourself & Your Kids
from a toxic Divorce,
false accusations
& Parental alienation
amy J. l. Baker, PhD
J. Michael Bone, PhD
Brian ludmer, BComm, llB
new Harbinger Publications, inc.
Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the
subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in
rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or
counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2014 by Amy J. L. Baker, Michael J. Bone, and Brian Ludmer
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Acquired by Melissa Kirk
Edited by Will Derooy
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Baker, Amy J. L., author.
The high-conflict custody battle : protect yourself and your kids from a toxic divorce,
false accusations, and parental alienation / Amy J. L. Baker, J. Michael Bone, Brian
Ludmer.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-62625-073-4 (paperback) -- ISBN 978-1-62625-074-1 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN
978-1-62625-075-8 (epub) 1. Custody of children--United States. 2. Parent and child
(Law)--United States. 3. Divorce--Law and legislation--United States. 4. Children of
divorced parents--United States. 5. Parental alienation syndrome. 6. Psychological
child abuse. I. Bone, J. Michael, author. II. Ludmer, Brian, author. III. Title.
KF547.B35 2014
346.7301’73--dc23
2014016748
We dedicate this book to our families, from whom we have
learned so much about love, respect, and compassion, and
to parents and children affected by high- conflict custody
disputes and loyalty conflicts. May they find a way to
remain connected despite the forces pulling them apart.

Contents
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .vii
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
1 High- Conflict Custody Disputes and Litigation:
An Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
2 Coping with a High- Conflict Custody Dispute:
Taking Care of Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19
3 Finding and Working with the Right Attorney . . . . . . .53
4 Finding and Working with the Right Mental Health
Consultant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .75
5 Documenting Your Case for Your Attorney . . . . . . . . .91
6 Preparing for a Custody Evaluation . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
7 Finding and Working with the Right Expert Witness . . . 149
8 Addressing False Allegations of Child Abuse and
Domestic Violence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167
9 What to Ask for in Court . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183
Appendix A: List of Statutes Pertaining to the
Best Interest of the Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
Appendix B: Example of a Court Order
Transferring Custody to the Targeted Parent . . . . . . . 211
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 223

Acknowledgments
We gratefully acknowledge the wonderful team at New Harbinger
Publications, who create a collaborative writing and editing process,
including Melissa Kirk and Jess Beebe, and freelance copyeditor
Will DeRooy. The book has been greatly improved through their
keen attention to the words and their meaning, ensuring that the
book would speak to the broadest range of parents.