Table Of ContentThe Flow: The Revolutionary 4-Step Process For
Confidently Approaching Women & Getting Dates
By Dan Bacon, Leading Dating Expert & CEO of TheModernMan.com
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
A Personal Message For You 4
Introduction 6
Chapter 1: Getting Started 7
• Momentum
• Reading this eBook With Self-Discipline
• Understanding vs. Understanding + Being Able to do
• It’s Like Learning to Play a Musical Instrument
• Your Past Does Not Equal Your Future
Chapter 2: Preparing For Your Journey 11
• The Four Stages of Learning
• To Become a Natural With Women
• What Seems Logical Isn’t Always Correct
• What’s in a Song?
• 6-Step Goal Setting Formula
Chapter 3: The Flow 22
1. Start an interaction 23
• Be Prepared to Offer More Than Her Initially
• Hey Ladies!
• Pick-Up Persona vs. Being Social
• The Imaginary Pedestal
• Assume Rapport & Attraction
• Practicing to Assume Rapport
• Emotionally-Guarded Conversation
• Relax
• Project Your Voice
• Apologetic Body Language & Voice Tones
• No-One is Perfect
• Situational Conversation Starters
• Direct & Natural Conversation Starters
• Simple Conversation Starters
• Creating Your Own Conversation Starters
2. Spark Attraction 37
• Nervousness
• Living in Your Own Reality
• Losing Control of Your Reality
• Status: The Silent Power
• Status: Life
• Status: Women
• The Status Gap
• Choose Whether or Not You Will React
• Body Language & Status Cues
• Being Cool Vs. Trying to be
• Social Proof
• What do Women Really Want?
• Personality Traits That Naturally Attract Women
• Confidence
• Masculinity or Alpha Male
• Humor & Being a Funny Guy
• Challenging & Unpredictable
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• Charming
• Sexual
• Stylish
• Adventurous
• Socially Intelligent
3. Develop a Connection 102
• Deep Rapport Conversation
• Talking From Your Perspective
• Calibrating Your Style & Energy to the Situation
• Making Chit-Chat
• Calibration Errors
• Working What Sort of Women You Want
• Neediness
• Compliments
4. Take Things to the Next Level 117
• The Three Stages of Interest
• Natural Resistance
• Getting Alone With a Woman
• Touch
• Getting Phone Numbers
• Before Making the Call
• The First Phone Call
• Setting Up a Date
• If She’s Being Difficult
• If She Cancels
• What to Do on the Date
Closing Message 132
Legal Notice 133
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A Personal Message For You
I thought I’d write you a personal note to fill you in on my journey as I used the knowledge, methods and
techniques I am about to share with you.
About 2 years ago, I’d simply reached a point in my life where I wasn’t happy about my success with
women and dating.
Although I believed that I was a great guy and had been in a number of relationships with women -
something just wasn’t right.
When I stopped to think about it, I realized that I’d basically been ‘getting lucky’ and hooking up with
women as they came along.
As a result, my relationships weren’t very personally fulfilling.
I wanted to be able to meet women that I respected and actually wanted in my life; women who I could
have a much deeper experience with.
I also didn’t want to have to worry about this part of my life any more. I wanted it to be natural.
But, there was just one catch…
I wasn’t very good at meeting new women. In fact, much like 99% of men on this planet, the idea of
going to a social venue and approaching women that I didn’t know, made me feel a little uneasy.
So I stopped and had a good think about how I could change my approach to this area of life.
I then made a solid commitment to myself and promised that I would work on this area of my life until I
was completely comfortable with it. I wanted to eliminate any fears of interacting with new women, and
wanted to learn how to make the process easy, enjoyable and natural.
And I did.
Without fail, a good friend and I would go out to bars and clubs every weekend to socialize. In between
working full-time and going out on the weekends, I would read books and articles, listen to audio
programs and watch DVDs on the related subjects.
When each weekend came around, I would go out and apply what I had learnt in the real world.
By the time I wrote this book, it was a little over two years later and my life had changed in indescribable
ways. Rather than attempt to tell you how I feel now, I will ask you:
Can you imagine what it feels like to know that:
a) Women find your confidence and personality highly attractive?
b) Meeting new women is easy and natural for you?
c) You no longer have to settle for second best?
Can you imagine the confidence and peace of mind that you will gain from that knowledge?
Well, you don’t have to imagine any longer!
I am about to share what took me literally thousands of hours of researching, practicing, analyzing,
discussing and revising to learn.
This book contains all of the wisdom I acquired along the way, and I offer it now to you in the hope that
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whatever your current situation is with women, whatever your past experiences and future goals are - this
book will assist you along the way.
Thanks again and let’s get started!
Dan
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Introduction
It’s always exciting when you buy a new instructional book, and I’m sure you’ll be
wondering what great things you can learn from this one.
In addition to providing you with The Flow: The Revolutionary 4-Step Process For
Approaching Women & Getting Dates – I am also going to ensure that you understand the
‘bigger picture’ surrounding it, so you can use The Flow with maximum success.
As such, the information you will encounter will fall into the following categories:
a) Mindsets: Your personal psychology.
How to think like a man who is naturally attractive to women.
b) Behaviors: Your actions.
How to behave like a man who is naturally attractive to women.
c) Non-verbal communication: Your body language.
How to communicate in ways that are naturally attractive without using words.
d) Verbal communication: Your words.
How to speak with a woman in a way that naturally generates attraction.
e) Perspective: Your perspective.
How to broaden your perspective and gain a deeper understanding of what is really going on between men
and women.
I am also going to focus on preparing you and guiding you to become a ‘natural’ with
women, so this area of life is easy and enjoyable for you.
Once you become a natural with women, you will then have so much more time and energy
to fully focus on the rest of your life.
These days, interacting with women is awesome fun, but it requires no real thought or
effort on my part.
I can just be myself.
Albeit, a much more attractive version of myself!
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Getting Started
Chapter One
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Momentum
Your life is beginning to change right now as you read this.
What once seemed like a daunting task will soon start feeling like a very natural part of
your life.
However, let’s be realistic.
This is a journey and like most things of value, it takes time.
Let me ask you a question…
Can you face the prospect of practicing over the next 6 months to 12 months until you
begin to grasp the concepts, behaviors and attitudes of a man who naturally attracts
women and dates as many women as he wants?
Can you commit to practicing until you’ve reached your desired level?
Excellent.
I will now give you a very important piece of advice for your journey that has already
begun:
Remember to create momentum for yourself by recognizing and celebrating your mini-
successes along the way.
What do I mean by that?
Let’s say you approach a woman and she becomes attracted to you, but then you mess it
up after a few moments/minutes.
That’s okay!
Celebrate the successful part (she was attracted to you) and acknowledge the parts you
need to improve on.
Walk away and say, “Okay, what went well? What do I need to do better next time?
Overall, what have I learnt about myself and social interactions?”
Then approach another woman, and begin the process again.
Reading This eBook with Self-Discipline
For those of you who simply can’t wait to get to the tips, techniques and practical
examples: Feel free to skip to Chapter 3 and then revisit Chapter 1 & 2 later.
For those of you who want to practice self-discipline and read this book with a clear
purpose: I guarantee that you will get a lot more out of each section if you work with the
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flow of the book.
Onward!
Understanding vs. Understanding + Being Able to do
Anyone can say, “Yeah, I understand that…it makes sense.”
But can those same people do it?
Think about it.
Most guys can understand that they need to be confident and not worry about being
rejected when approaching a woman to start an interaction. But, when it ‘comes to the
crunch’ they just can’t do it.
Suddenly, they become paralyzed by a fear of rejection. The confidence they spoke about is
nowhere to be seen.
It is one thing to understand something and another to be able to do it.
It’s Like Learning to Play a Musical Instrument
If you want this area of your life to become natural and easy, then you will need to
practice.
Let’s imagine that you’re learning to play a guitar...
In the beginning you struggle to play a few notes. Then, with a bit of practice you’re able to
play short pieces.
A smile creases your face.
“Wow… I did it!”
You keep practicing.
A month later you can play a full song. Three months later you can play an elaborate
instrumental for your friends or family.
You feel comfortable with a guitar in your hands.
Something that was once an awkward challenge is now becoming fun.
One day, you reach a point of being able to pick up a guitar and launch right into playing
something beautiful without having to think about it.
It has become natural.
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Your experiences on your journey to success with women will closely mirror this.
At first a lot of what is suggested in these pages may seem awkward or difficult.
Some of it may even feel unnatural when you try it.
Eventually however, you will feel comfortable interacting with women in the manner
suggested.
You will not only understand how to be successful with women, but you will be doing it with
the ease of a natural.
Your Past Does Not Equal Your Future
If there are negatives in your past with women, please forget it and decide to let go of any
bad feelings you have.
This is a new beginning.
Forget what you’ve been told about women and dating from friends, family and TV.
Why?
Most people are not speaking from personal experience, and have simply lifted their
‘knowledge’ from convenient media sources such as magazines and television.
You are now taking charge of your life and have the correct information at your fingertips to
succeed.
If you can make a real commitment to yourself to get this area of your life handled, then
you have a lot of fun times to look forward to.
Chapter Summary
During this chapter we discussed some key points to remember as you get started on your
journey. They were:
1. Create momentum for yourself by celebrating your mini-successes.
2. The difference between understanding something and understanding and being able to
do it.
3. That the past does not equal the future.
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