The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Any Change (and Loving Your Life More)

233 Pages·2008·0.91 MB·English

by  Ariane De Bonvoisin

the
30
first
days
Your Guide to Any Change
(and Loving Your Life More)
Ariane de Bonvoisin
To mom and dad.
Thank you for a beautiful life so full of change.
The core of man’s spirit comes
from new experiences.
—Christopher McCandless,
Into the Wild

Contents
Epigraph iii
Introduction 1
1 Change Your View of Change 7
Beliefs Can Make All the Difference
2 The Change Guarantee 27
From This Situation, Something Good Will Come
3 The Change Muscle 47
You’re Stronger Than You Think
4 Change Demons 69
How to Recognize Negative Emotions and Move Past Them
5 The Gift of Acceptance 107
Resisting Change Is Not the Answer
6 The Things You Can Control 123
What You Say, Think, and Feel
vi Contents
7 Meet Your Spiritual Side 147
Where Tranquility, Ideas, and Wisdom Live
8 Your Change Support Team 167
The People and Things That Can Help
9 Get Unstuck 185
Actions to Move You Through Any Change
The Next 30 Days and Beyond 205
Radical Optimism, Possibility, and New Directions
Our Journey Continues 215
Acknowledgments 217
Recommended Reading 219
About the Author
Praise
Credits
Cover
Copyright
About the Publisher
Introduction
Change is the law of life.
—John F. Kennedy
What If I Told You . . .
. . . that the change you are currently going through could be
a little easier, smoother, and less stressful?
. . . that people who are good at navigating changes have
certain things in common?
. . . that there are proven ways to help anyone through
change?
. . . that the change you have always wanted to make not only
is possible, but can be made with optimism and calmness?
. . . that change can actually help you love your life more?
Would you keep reading?
This book is designed to help you through any life change;
no change is too big or too small. This book will radically alter
the way you navigate change. And don’t worry: despite the title,
the book won’t take thirty days! You can read it in just a few
hours.
2 The First 30 Days
By reading The First 30 Days, you will learn how to live life as
what I call a change optimist. You will become part of a group of
people who choose to see the positive in any life change. Not only
will this mind-set carry you through your current change, but it
will make change easier to handle when you inevitably face it in
the future.
Most people have been conditioned to believe certain things
about change:
Change is hard and is something to be avoided.
Change makes me feel alone; I’m the only one going
through it.
Change takes time, energy, and work.
Change is stressful and involves pain.
If this is how you’re feeling right now, you’re not alone. We live
in a world where change has become the one constant. Think
about it: Millions of people are in the process of getting divorced
or caring for a parent or child who is sick. Millions of others have
recently lost a job, are trying to make financial changes, or want
to start a new relationship or lose weight. And there are constant
changes in politics, the environment, our jobs, technology, the
law, our health-care system and treatment options, education, the
institution of marriage, and the shape of the family today. There
are changes in how we eat, live, buy things, and even communi-
cate with each other. Given all these changes, it’s no wonder we
cling to anything that appears stable and permanent, and then go
through a tough time when that, too, inevitably changes.
For some, however, change triggers a different response, one of
optimism and strength. For these people the emotional roller