The Executive and the Elephant: A Leader's Guide for Building Inner Excellence

339 Pages·2010·8.145 MB·English

by  Daft, Richard L

THE EXECUTIVE
AND THE
ELEPHANT
a leader’s guide for building
inner excellence
•
Richard L. Daft
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Daft,RichardL.
Theexecutiveandtheelephant:aleader’guideforbuildinginnerexcellence/
RichardL.Daft.
p.cm.
Includesindex.
ISBN978-0-470-37226-5(hardback);978-0-470-63661-9(ebk);
978-0-470-63667-1(ebk);978-0-470-63668-8(ebk);
1.Leadership.I.Title.
BF637.L4D342010
658.4’092—dc22
2010013839
PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
firstedition
HBPrinting 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Contents
•
Preface vii
Acknowledgments ix
PARTONE
TheTwoSelves
1. TheProblemofManagingYourself 3
TheConflictBetweenKnowingandDoing
TheUniversalFailureofWillpower
TheDividedSelf:ExecutiveandElephant
LearningtoLeadfromYourInnerExecutive
PurposeofThisBook
2. RecognizeYourTwoSelves 15
LevelsofConsciousness
TwoVoicesWithin
WhyYourMindIsFilledwithAutomaticThoughts
UnfocusedElephantMindVersusFocusedExecutivePresence
SmallBoxVersusLargeMind
PARTTWO
WaysYouMayMisleadorDeludeYourself
3. ThreeTendenciesThatDistortYourReality 37
YourInternalJudge
YourInternalMagician
YourInternalAttorney
iii
iv contents
4. EveryLeader’sSixMentalMistakes 52
ReactingTooQuickly
InflexibleThinking
WantingControl
EmotionalAvoidanceandAttraction
ExaggeratingtheFuture
ChasingtheWrongGratifications
PARTTHREE
HowtoStartLeadingYourself
5. EngageYourIntention 71
VisualizeYourIntention
VerbalizeYourIntention
6. FollowThroughonYourIntentions 90
WriteDownYourIntentions
SetDeadlines
DesignTangibleMechanisms
7. CalmDowntoSpeedUp 107
GetConnected
LetItHappen
SitbyYourProblem
RelaxYourBody
CalmYourElephantbyActingthePartorMaking
aGentleRequest
8. SlowDowntoStopYourReactions 125
StopandThink
StopInterrupting
DetachfromYourEmotionsandImpulses
JustSayNo
EmployPunishment
PARTFOUR
BecomeAwareofYourInnerResources
9. GettoKnowYourInnerElephant 147
KnowYourself
contents v
SolicitFeedback
TakeAdvantageofaSetback
10. ExpandYourAwareness 162
ReviewtheDay
ContemplateCreatively
PARTFIVE
ReachfortheHeights
11. SharpenYourConcentration 177
FocusYourAttention
FocusonMeans,NotEnds
SlowDown,Look,andListen
FocusonPeople
12. DevelopYourWitness 192
TurnInwardtoDevelopYourWitness
UseRadicalSelf-Inquiry
WhoAmI?
13. ReprogramYourself 209
RepeataMantra
PrayerMayHelp,butNottheWayYouThink
14. MendYourMindwithMeditation 223
WhyMeditate?
AnEasyWaytoStart
TwoEssentials
MindfulnessMeditation
TryVisualRatherThanVerbal
ContemplativeMeditation
PARTSIX
CanYouLeadfromaPeopleFrameofReference?
15. ChangeYourFrametoSeePeople 243
WhatIsYourFrame?
FromLeadingObjectstoLeadingHumans
HowtoChangeYourFrame
vi contents
16. ChangeYourFrametoAskQuestions 261
FromAnsweringQuestionstoAskingQuestions
InAllThings,Consult
17. LivingandLeadingfromYourInnerExecutive 275
HigherConsciousnessRevisited
WhenHerMindWentQuiet
AnswerstoIndividualQuestions
FinalThoughts
Notes 294
AbouttheAuthor 311
ExerciseIndex 313
Index 317
Preface
•
althoughididn’tknowitatthetime,thisbookoninnerexcellence
beganonmyfirsttriptoIndia.Ifeltacallingtolearnaboutspirituality,
and where better to start than India? Sitting on an ashram, reading
and studying deep ideas, and trying to meditate were jolting changes
in paradigm for me, as were the hot days and cold showers. At times
my head almost hurt as I tried to integrate what I was learning in the
East with concepts from the West; the spiritual and academic were not
blendingeasily.GurusfromEasterntraditionsdidresearchintothemind
by focusing on the mental dynamics within their inner world; Western
socialsciencefocusedonunderstandingotherpeopleintheouterworld.
Bothlinesofinquiryweresincerelysearchingforthetruth,butinopposite
directions. It took me a while, and multiple trips to India, to assimilate
lessons derived from within into the lessons from the outer world with
whichIwasmorefamiliar.
As I absorbed a new way of thinking, a key discovery for me was the
EasternconceptofusingBuddhior‘‘intellect’’asamentalmechanismto
guide one’s life, rather than living a life helplessly surrendered to one’s
senses,desires,andself-interest.AsIbegantocomprehendthissomewhat
separate and higher way of thinking, I startedseeing similar concepts in
the West. The notion that people have two selves or two thinking pro-
cessesnowseemedtoappearallaroundme,alongwiththenaggingprob-
lem of how to regulate or manage one’s emotions, impulses, and fears.
Manypeoplewereaskingquestionsabouthowtofocustheirrestlessmind
andenergy,howtoavoiddistractions,andhowtomanagethemselvesto
leadorlivemoreeffectively.Isawagreatdealofinterestandinquiryfrom
bothpsychologyandneuroscienceinself-regulationandintheextentto
which people had so-called free will or were governed by unconscious
desires and thought processes. In psychology, the higher part is charac-
terizedbyconsciousormetacognitivethoughtprocessesthataredistinct
from the nonconscious or simple cognitive processes. In neuroscience,
vii
viii preface
the higher part is called the executive function in the brain’s prefrontal
cortex,andthelowerpartincludestherestofthenervoussystem.
In some sense, the two parts of the mind are not very complicated.
One part is quick and impulsive, and at times its restless urges are
too strong to control. This part wants immediate gratification; it has a
short attention span and a childlike stubbornness in defending its own
positions. The other part is slower and wiser, humble, determined; it
doesn’t overreact to things, and keeps the larger purpose in mind. I had
myownissuesfinding moreoftheslowandsteadywithinmetoreplace
the reactive and restless. I researched and experimented with many
techniques fromEastandWestthat would developthe partofmymind
thatcouldmanagemyownbehavior.
Thisbookisaboutthehow,notthewhat,ofimprovingyourleadership.
Changing one’s personal habits or leadership style is not easy. Where
do you go for help? There are hundreds of books on leadership that
tell people what they should do as leaders. These books offer excellent
advice, such as the five leadership principles, seven habits, ten timeless
principles, fifteen secrets, and twenty-one irrefutable laws, all of which
havevalueforreaders.Incontrast,mypurposeinthisbookisnottogive
you another listof whatmakes agood leaderbut to provide the howof
changingandimprovingyourselfintotheleaderyouwanttobeandcan
be.Thisbookoffersspecificexercisesandpracticesthatshowyouhowto
startmanagingyourselftobecomemoreeffectiveasapersonandaleader.
WhenIstartedusingtheseideastoteachMBAstudentsandmanagers
how to strengthen their intellect, they reported back some progress
in changing themselves. One problem was that people had a hard time
identifyingwiththeirownconsciousandunconsciousminds.Thingstook
off after I adopted simple names for the two parts. Participants in my
classes and programs then really seemed to get it. The names that stuck
wereinnerexecutiveforthehigherpart(intellect)andinnerelephantfor
the lower. Students started using the terms to describe themselves and
theirbehavior.Afewexecutivestookthetermsbacktotheirworkplaces
asapointofreferencetohelppeopleunderstandandtranscendtheirless
functionalbehavior.Thesenotionshadpracticalvalue,sotheremaining
challengeformewastowriteuptheideasandpracticesinbookform.
ThefinaltallyisthatIamnowlivingwithinadifferentparadigmand
have experienced modest success teaching these ideas and practices to
others.Pursuinginner excellencehas certainlychangedme.Ihope some
aspects of this paradigm of two parts within your mind will help you
developthehigherpartofyouonyourjourneytobecomingabetterleader,
spouse,parent,friend,colleague,oremployee,alongwithgreaterfocuson
andsatisfactioninwhateverendeavorsinwhichyouengage.Yourinner
excellenceiswaitingforyoutoclaimit.Whynotgetstartednow?