The ecstasy of surrender : 12 surprising ways letting go can empower your life

388 Pages·2014·2.03 MB·English

by  Judith Orloff

ALSO BY JUDITH ORLOFF, M.D.
Emotional Freedom:
Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life
Positive Energy:
10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear
into Vibrance, Strength, and Love
Dr. Judith Orloff’s Guide to Intuitive Healing:
5 Steps to Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Wellness
Second Sight:
An Intuitive Psychiatrist Tells Her Extraordinary Story and Shows You How
to Tap Your Own Inner Wisdom

Copyright © 2014 by Judith Orloff, M.D.
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a
division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
Harmony Books is a registered trademark and the Circle colophon is a trademark of Random
House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Orloff, Judith.
The ecstasy of surrender : 12 surprising ways letting go can empower your life /
Judith Orloff, M.D.
pages cm
1. Autonomy (Psychology) 2. Dependency (Psychology) 3. Stress management.
I. Title.
BF575.D34O75 2014
158.1—dc23 2013037087
ISBN 978-0-307-33820-4
eBook ISBN 978-0-80413707-2
Illustrations by Jane Whitney
Jacket design by Jess Morphew
Jacket art: © Claudia McKinney/Phatpuppyart.com
v3.1
FOR MY SPIRITUAL TEACHER
Grace is ever present. All that is necessary is that you surrender to it.
—RAMANA MAHARSHI
CONTENTS
Cover
Other Books by This Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
My Initiation into Surrender
An Introduction to Letting Go: Preparing to Surrender, Trust, and Flourish
Part One
POWER AND MONEY
1. The First Surrender: Redefining True Success, Power, and Happiness
2. The Second Surrender: Four Vital Insights into Power and Letting Go
3. The Third Surrender: Manifesting the Heart of Money: Seeing Beyond Material
Seduction and Fear
Part Two
READING PEOPLE AND COMMUNICATION
4. The Fourth Surrender: Learning the Art of Reading People
5. The Fifth Surrender: Cultivating Impeccable Communication
Part Three
RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, AND SENSUALITY
6. The Sixth Surrender: Honoring Soul Mates, Soul Friends, and Animal Companions
7. The Seventh Surrender: Exploring the Divinity of Your Body and Sexuality
8. The Eighth Surrender: Igniting Your Sexual Power
9. The Ninth Surrender: Discovering the Sensual Essence of the Natural World
Part Four
MORTALITY AND IMMORTALITY: CYCLES OF LIGHT
10. The Tenth Surrender: Harmonizing with Illness and Pain
11. The Eleventh Surrender: Experiencing Radiant Aging: The Secret of Slowing Down
Time
12. The Twelfth Surrender: Making Peace with Death and the Afterlife
Part Five
EMBRACING ECSTASY
The Final Surrender: Celebrating the Blessing of Joy
Selected Reading
Acknowledgments
MY INITIATION INTO SURRENDER
’ the mainstream. I’ve gotten
MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN CONVENTIONAL. I VE NEVER FIT INTO
used to being the exception to the rule—the one to whom things happen
that don’t happen to most people. As a child I had visions nobody could
see. I could sense energy no one else could feel: it radiated around
everything, from friends to the moon to a lonely discarded tin can. I am
and always have been more at home in the dream world than awake.
Because I am an empath, my body is highly sensitive in ways that
confound what science defines as “normal.”
I’ve gotten used to not reacting “like I’m supposed to.” I get tired of
people trying to fit me into some box that has nothing to do with who I
am. I’ve gotten over trying to pass as “normal.” I’d rather just be my
creative, quirky self. Perhaps you can relate to my feelings because each
of us is unique, beautiful, lovable, and surprising, spontaneously
unfolding moment to moment.
That’s why I was excited about writing a book on surrender. Writing is
my passion, an alive, ever-changing meditation. I can happily spend
years writing a book, so I asked myself, “What do I most want to write
about? What do I most want to learn?” It has never interested me to just
recount what I know. Instead, I write about what I yearn to discover.
And my attraction was to the concept of surrender: the ability to be
fluid, to bend like a willow in the wind during life’s climaxes and lows. I
want to be increasingly able not to clench, obsess, overthink,
overcontrol, fight with my life, or let my stubborn streak obstruct my
spiritual expansion.
I long to uncover the secrets of the universe—not just with my mind
but with my heart, soul, and intuition. I want to fly. I want to soar. Who
says we don’t have wings? I don’t care whether anyone says it’s
impossible.
So, with these priorities, I began writing this book. Surrender: it
sounded good and it felt really right. I was ready to practice letting go
more deeply. However, I didn’t fully understand what I was signing up
for which I found out included both losses and gains. In the process, life
asked me to jump off a lot of ledges and have faith that all would be
well. Why did this happen? Stable parts of my world started shifting in
unexpected ways that required me to change. I’ve had to let go of a lot.
For instance, I sold my condo where I wrote all my other books because
of unrelenting noise and lengthy construction. I’ve exchanged a
permanent address for a nomadic lifestyle and a post office box for now.
During the move, I chose to give away most of my possessions to make a
fresh start. That was just for openers. Then I had to let go of a love who
left me; a therapist; many outmoded views about intimacy, including my
erotic inhibitions; my obsessive attachment to certain men; and the
desire for others to approve of my boyfriends, my intuitive explorations,
or anything else. Throughout all this, I surrendered my ego again and
again, trusting that a higher compassionate force was guiding me.
Why surrender? What’s the advantage of going beyond your comfort
zone? Whether you surrender a little or a lot, you’ll experience more
passion and power. As I did, you can also undergo a rebirth in areas
where you may feel bored or stuck. This flux of letting go, not knowing
but moving forward anyway is a vibrant process of refining your body
and soul. I experienced this, not without fear—but not without hope,
either. I’ve surrendered as the opposites of fear and joy often pulled at
me simultaneously. But I was also melting into the dazzling beauty that
was impelling my life. My intuition brought me here. I trust it more than
anything. So I allowed myself to be led by my inner voice and by the
mystery.
On this journey, I’ve discovered there’s a strange and wonderful
ecstasy that comes from surrendering. It creeps up on you. Then one day
you look at yourself and you are shining. You may not know exactly how
you arrived here but you’re different, and it is a blessing. By
surrendering I’ve become healthier, braver, more intuitive, more flowing
and fun, younger, more untamed, and more spiritually pliant. I’ve shed
layers of fear and limitations that kept me locked in a life that was no
longer large enough for me.
I tell you all this, the revelatory and the challenging parts, to prepare
you for the greatest adventure you may ever go on. If you’re like me—
someone who wants to become everything you were meant to be and
more—surrender is a doorway in. I offer myself as your guide. In this