The Dynamics and Complexities of Interracial Gay Families in South Africa: A New Frontier: Gay Relationships in South Africa

90 Pages·2019·1.15 MB·English

by  Oluwafemi Adeagbo

SPRINGER BRIEFS IN SOCIOLOGY
Oluwafemi Adeagbo
The Dynamics
and Complexities
of Interracial Gay
Families in South
Africa: A New Frontier
Gay Relationships in

South Africa

123
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Oluwafemi Adeagbo
The Dynamics
and Complexities
of Interracial Gay Families
in South Africa: A New
Frontier
Gay Relationships in South Africa
123
Oluwafemi Adeagbo
Department ofSociology, Faculty
of Humanities
University of Johannesburg
Johannesburg, SouthAfrica
ISSN 2212-6368 ISSN 2212-6376 (electronic)
SpringerBriefs inSociology
ISBN978-3-030-03921-9 ISBN978-3-030-03922-6 (eBook)
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-03922-6
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To my family and friends whom I deprived
some quality time during the development of
this book. And to all same-sex partners in
South Africa who are courageous to establish
enduring romantic relationships amidst
societal discriminations and stereotypes.
Preface
South Africa has a unique history with respect to how previously marginalised
groups,suchasgaymen,havereceivedrecognitionwiththeirsocialrightsincluded
in the post-apartheid South African Constitution. While heterosexual intimate
relationships,particularlymixed-racecouples,haveattracted societalandscholarly
attentioninSouthAfricaduetothecountry’spasthistoryofracialsegregation,itis,
however, striking how little emphasis is placed on understanding same-sex unions
in a transforming South Africa. This book is timely and important because it
explores the vignettes, complexities and dynamics of interracial gay intimate
relationships, an area offamily sociology that hardly gets the scholarly attention it
deserves. The book addresses the intersectionality, and the question of how sexu-
ality, gender, racial identity and personal resources influence the relationship as
well as the way resilience strategies are drawn upon to sustain the partnership.
InSouthAfrica,variousstudieshavedocumentedintimaterelationshipsinthepast
fewdecades,butthevastmajorityofthemwereaboutheterosexualintimateunions,
whether same race/ethnicity or interracial. This book is a product of my doctoral
researchthatattemptstocounteractaprevailingheteronormativebiasbyresearching
interracial male gay couples in the context of Johannesburg, South Africa, and
interrogatingtherelevanceofargumentsandassumptionsoffamilysociologyinthis
regard.Thisbookholdsrelevancefortheilluminationofdiscoursesonrace,classand
sexualityinSouthAfrica.Itisuniquebecauseitofferssociologicalinsightsintogay
men’s private and domestic lives using ‘social exchange’, interpretive accounts of
negotiations, meaningconstructionandcontestations, particularly when these lives
havebeencomplicatedbycross-racialintimacy.Assuch,thisbookwillassistinthe
generationofdebateandrefinementofthinkingonwhatconstitutesfamilial,intimate
andcohabitingrelationshipsandhowdevelopmentsandtransitionsinthiscontextcan
betheorised.
Finally, this book builds recommendations and potential policy advice for state
structures, academics and human rights organisations concerned with supporting
the rights, freedoms, lifestyles and visibility of gay people in South Africa.
Johannesburg, South Africa Oluwafemi Adeagbo
vii
Acknowledgements
My profound gratitude goes to my mentor and academic partner, Prof. Kammila
Naidoo,forherinvaluablesupport.IalsothanktheeditorsofSouthAfricanReview
of Sociology, National Identities and Journal of Gender Studies for permission to
usesomepartsofmypublishedarticlesinthisbook.IamgratefultotheUniversity
of Johannesburg and the National Research Foundation (NRF) for scholarships
awardedtomethatenabledthesuccessfulcompletionoftheresearchthatledtothe
birth of this book. A special thanks to Ms. Melanie Naidoo, Mr. Anthony Manion
(Gay and Lesbian Memory in Action [GALA], University of the Witwatersrand),
Prof. John-Mark Iyi, Prof. Jendele Hungbo and to all interracial gay partners who
participated in the study.
Ese gan! Siyabonga! Dankie! Merci! Thank you all!
ix
Contents
1 Same-Sex Intimacy in South Africa: An Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . 1
1.1 The Concept of Race in South Africa: A Brief Discussion . . . . . . 1
1.2 From Antiquity to the Contemporary: Exploring Attitudes
Toward Same-Sex Intimate Relationships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
1.3 Discourses on Homosexuality and Same-Sex Intimate
Relationships in Africa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
1.4 Racial and Same-Sex Relationships in South Africa . . . . . . . . . . . 6
1.5 Interracial Gay Partnerships: South African ‘Rainbow Family’ . . . 10
1.6 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
2 Diversity in Families . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
2.1 Diversity in Families: Traditional Concept of Family
in a State of ‘Flux’. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
2.1.1 Masculinity and Men’s Roles in Heterosexual
Family. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
2.1.2 Gay Men and Hegemonic Masculinity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
2.2 Interracial Gay Partnership Profiles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
2.2.1 Partnership 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
2.2.2 Partnership 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
2.2.3 Partnership 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
2.2.4 Partnership 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
2.2.5 Partnership 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
2.2.6 Partnership 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
2.2.7 Partnership 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
2.2.8 Partnership 8 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
2.2.9 Partnership 9 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
2.2.10 Partnership 10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
2.3 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
xi
xii Contents
3 Relationship Formation, Division of Housework and Power
Negotiation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
3.1 Interracial Gay Men Relationship Formation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
3.1.1 Face-to-Face Relationships: From Casual Partnerships
to Committed Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
3.1.2 From Computer Mediated Relationships to Long-Term
Unions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
3.2 The Division of Housework in Interracial Gay Household . . . . . . 42
3.3 Power Dynamics in Interracial Gay Partnerships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
3.4 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
4 Social Support, Coping Strategies and Conflict Management . . . . . . 53
4.1 The Impact of Social Support on Interracial Gay Men
in Intimate Relationships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
4.1.1 Social Support from Families of Origin and Friends. . . . . 55
4.2 Suppression of Identities and Non-public Displays of Affection
(PDA): Resilience Strategies in Interracial Gay Partnerships . . . . . 59
4.3 Conflict and Conflict Resolution in Interracial Gay Men’s
Intimate Relationships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
4.4 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
5 Conclusion: Contributions, Recommendations and Future
Research Areas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
5.1 Summary of the Empirical and Theoretical Contributions . . . . . . . 71
5.2 Limitations of the Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
5.3 Recommendations and Future Research Areas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
5.3.1 White Sugar Daddies and Black Cheese Boys . . . . . . . . . 75
5.3.2 White Afrikaner Gay Men and Black Gay Men. . . . . . . . 76
5.3.3 Black African Gay Men and Indian Gay Men . . . . . . . . . 77
5.3.4 Good on Paper, Weak in Action: Progressive South
African Legal Framework on Gay Rights . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79