Table Of ContentTO MY CHILDREN,
Jeremy and Talia—
AND TO ALL CHILDREN:
may they feel joy, peace, and abundance,
regardless of how much money they have
“The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping old
ones.”
—John M. Keynes
“October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate. The
others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June,
December, August, and February.”
—Mark Twain
“Behind the complicated details of the world stand the simplicities.”
—Graham Greene
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
The Unchallenged Assumptions of Money Madness
Spencer's Seven Simple Rules for Achieving Money Wisdom
Introduction: Money Madness and Its Cure
Chapter 1 Money Madness: What It Does and How It Works
Chapter 2 Contracting the Condition: How We Get Money Madness
Chapter 3 Money Madness in Action: How the Money Monster Operates
in Your Life
Chapter 4 Free Your Life from Money Madness: Tame the Monster
Chapter 5 Financial Intimacy: Getting Naked Around Money
TM
Chapter 6 The Rainbow Portfolio : Madness-Free Investing—The
Boring Way to Make More Money
Chapter 7 Getting Money: Madness-Free Strategies
Chapter 8 Madness-Free Spending
Chapter 9 Philanthropy and Money Madness
Chapter 10 Enough—Finding Your Sufficiency
Chapter 11 Make It Happen
Appendix: Abby's Dilemma
Notes
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My next book, as I tell anyone who will listen, will be entitled Everybody Should Write a
Book, for I have found authorship to be the most challenging and rewarding of
experiences. But I didn't do it alone, and I want to acknowledge and thank the many
people who helped me turn my ideas into a book.
I am profoundly grateful to renowned marriage therapist and international workshop
leader Anne Watts. The moment that we decided to join forces and create our Financial
Intimacy workshops was the beginning of our commitment to take our message to a
wider audience. Throughout the process, Anne has been my mentor, my friend, my
public speaking coach, and my helpmate in writing this book. There would be no Cure
for Money Madness without Anne.
Defying the conventional wisdom about the dangers of doing business with friends
was one of my most successful and rewarding acts. Brent Kessel is my dear friend and
my trusted colleague and business partner. He urged me to take a risk and do what my
family had consistently failed at—partner in business with someone who is (practically)
family. His life, his work, his beautiful family, and his own book, It's Not About the
Money, have been inspirations for me, and I thank him for helping me flourish in
innumerable ways.
My friend Reavis Moore was one of the first people to see a book in my ideas, and he
introduced me to Bob Levine, my agent extraordinaire. I'm still astonished that Bob can
be so fierce, say “no” so often, and yet be so incredibly generous and easy to love.
It was Bob who put me together with two women who played key roles in the book:
Susan Dworkin, who gave the book its incredible and, as it turns out, absolutely
prescient title; and Susanna Margolis, who helped me clarify my ideas with patience and
common sense.
I am pleased to acknowledge and thank my wonderful colleagues at Random House:
Kris Puopolo, my editor, who helped me sift through the dirt to get to the gold, the
selfless and understated David Drake, Julie Sills, Catherine Pollock, and Stephanie
Bowen. I am grateful also to my team in California for helping me to disseminate the
cure far and wide: Jesse Seaver, Maria Freebairn-Smith, Savala Nolan, and Janine
Sternlieb.
I was well along in the process of writing the book when I had the opportunity to
meet the legendary Byron Katie. The instant rapport we shared and the seemingly
automatic meshing of our work have been a profound joy to me. The Work of Byron
Katie and her life-transforming Four Questions are a powerful resource for curing
money madness.
So many other people—teachers, friends, family, clients, and workshop participants—
have contributed to the writing of The Cure for Money Madness. I reach back to my
earliest influences, starting with my late parents: my father, Lester, who gave me
permission to speak my mind even if no one agrees with what I have to say, and my
mother, Phyllis, who gave me the sense that everyone is my friend. I am immensely
grateful also to my very-much-alive dear sister, Carol, for showing me the value of a
sense of humor. I am grateful to the three of them for their immense love and support.
Mordecai Mitnick was instrumental in helping me understand my own money
madness so I could explain the cure. Charlie Fisher and Maury Stein, Brandeis professors
who became close friends and mentors, provided valuable critical feedback on the
manuscript. So did Pat Jennerjohn, Marty Dirks, Jonathan Marks, Brian Kennedy, Brian
Heath, Billy White, Karen Solomon, and lifelong friend Bennett Cohen.
Jason Cole, my business partner and friend, helped me to focus on what I really love
doing in the financial world and thereby helped create much of the material for this
book. All the employees of Abacus have helped me to think outside the box—essential
both for our business and for this book. Their community of support and collegiality has
brought me a great deal of joy. In particular I must acknowledge Greg Aloia and
Suzanne Lawrence, who have been long-term loyal and supportive colleagues at Abacus.
Paul Jaffe, owner of one of the last remaining independent book chains, Copperfield's,
was another friend who saw the book in what I was doing and encouraged me to go
forward.
Jocelyn Rasmussen, friend, coach, and all-around inspiration, gave me the confidence
that my ideas could actually help people. She has been a steadfast cheerleader of both
my life and this book.
Lenny Linsker offered me the use of that most prized commodity, a Manhattan
apartment, so I could finish the manuscript.
Many people have served as mentors for this work, whether they know it or not:
David Michael; Frank Donoghue, a once-and-current writing mentor; and George
Kinder, a financial advisor I respect enormously and the man who launched me into the
workshop arena. Al Winner was the first mentor in my life.
In providing emotional support, friends from every corner of my life helped make this
book possible and enriched the writing process. B. J. Wasserman, Michael and Donna
Stusser, Chris Deckker, Gera-lyn Gendreau, artists Alex and Allyson Grey, Bex
Wilkinson, Josh Mailman, Parker Johnson, Dana Zed, and my dear lifelong friend and
college roommate, Howard Levine, all provided the kind of steadfast encouragement
that is so essential to the writing process.
My men's group—Rick Phillips, Tom Sipes, Saha Johnson, Tom Wick, Jahn Ballard,
Murray Lewis, and the late Andy Davidson— was also a bulwark of support on more
than 400 Monday nights over ten years. The collective wisdom and loving presence of
these friends helped me share my money secrets, keep my money monster at bay, cure
my own money madness, and stay madness-free.
From the world of established authors, I am grateful to exercise guru Kathy Smith, to
Deepak Chopra, and to QVC host Kathy Levine, who can sell anything. All provided
early encouragement that gave me confidence in my ideas.
I am deeply grateful to my wife, Janine, for her enthusiasm for my ideas, for her
editing skills, for being my partner in financial intimacy, and for her love. I am also
grateful to the two most extraordinary beings and teachers in my life, Jeremy and Talia,
who remind me daily that my net worth is so much larger than I could possibly
calculate.
Finally, I want to acknowledge my first cousins, Steven Gilbert and Jane Shelofsky.
Even though money madness drove our families apart for decades, our recent reunion is
proof that anything, even a fight over money, can be healed.
THE UNCHALLENGED ASSUMPTIONS OF MONEY
MADNESS
Here is a set of assumptions, almost universally accepted as true, that block rational
thinking about money. These unexamined beliefs can make us behave in ways that are
disastrous to our bottom line and our peace of mind. The Cure for Money Madness will
challenge these assumptions and give you the antidote to your unproductive money
behavior.
Assumption Challenge/Antidote
I don't want to know
the numbers/what my The numbers are never as scary as the
bank statement assumption. Antidote: Check your Actual
says/what my taxes Net WorthTM to see that you are
are/what my credit wealthier than you think (see Chapter
card debt is because I 10).
might get worried.
I don't know anything
about money, so I let Money is simpler than you think. Your
my spouse handle it; I natural common sense is worth as much
don't have anything as if not more than your spouse's
valuable to say where financial sophistication.
money is concerned.
This is limited thinking—first, because it
I'm a doesn't value all the fringe benefits of
