The Conflict Resolution Toolbox: Models and Maps for Analyzing, Diagnosing, and Resolving Conflict

268 Pages·2005·1.52 MB·English

by  Gary T. Furlong

More Praise for The Conflict Resolution Toolbox
“We all know one thing about conflict: It is messy! Furlong’s models offer medi-
ators, facilitators, lawyers, psychotherapists and others ‘a leg up’ in more swiftly
figuring out what is going on and what is needed. Furlong does not offer up a
single ‘truth,’ style or theory, so much as a collection of effective tools that
professionals, groups and families can use to better understand what they are
experiencing and how they can approach achieving better results. Highly
recommended.”
James C. Melamed, J.D., CEO, Mediate.com
“Acraftsperson is only as good as the tools they use. In this important new
book, Gary Furlong provides the essential conflict resolution toolkit, offering a
practical selection of specialized tools that will be useful to all conflict resolution
craftspeople—novice and veteran alike.”
Richard J. Weiler, LL.B., Chartered Mediator,
Fellow, International Academy of Mediators
“Gary has a remarkable ability to help fellow practitioners and clients alike achieve
breakthroughs one wouldn’t think possible. Anyone interested in constructively
challenging their own thinking will find this toolbox practical and invaluable. His
unique insights and strategies are powerful and truly distinguish him as a leading
practitioner.”
Leah Borsa, National Alternative Dispute Resolution Advisor, Parks Canada Agency
“In this well-written book, Gary Furlong provides eight practical and highly
original models for analyzing and resolving conflict. Furlong’s ingenious trans-
formation of several important theories from psychology, sociology and other
fields into models and worksheets, plus his illustration of how these models can
be used with some highly emotional interpersonal clashes, give managers fresh
ways to think about resolving common workplace conflicts. There is a model to
fit various individual conflict resolution preferences and various types of quar-
rels. Don’t miss this important new book—a must have for every manager’s
reference library!”
Dr. Carol A. Beatty, Director, Industrial Relations Centre;
Associate Professor, School of Business, Queen’s University
“This incisive book will help mediators and others working with human con-
flicts experience the way that different lenses reveal vastly different views. This
book will help our teaching, practicing, and thinking, and ultimately assist us in
the complex and essential work of seeing things through multiple lenses.”
Michelle LeBaron, Professor of Law and Director, UBC Program on Dispute Resolution
“This book’s strength is in taking some central conflict resolution ideas from oth-
ers and organizing them into a system of analysis in one handy source. The way
analytical tools are presented, their practical usefulness and the depth at which
Gary reviews them is new and helpful for practitioners, giving them a jumpstart
in learning and growing.”
Gordon Sloan, Partner, ADR Education, Victoria, BC

John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd.
Copyright © 2005 by Gary Furlong
All rights reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyright herein
may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means—graphic, elec-
tronic or mechanical without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Any request for photocopying, recording, taping or information storage
and retrieval systems of any part of this book shall be directed in writing
to The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For an
Access Copyright license, visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free
1-800-893-5777.
Care has been taken to trace ownership of copyright material contained in
this book. The publisher will gladly receive any information that will enable
them to rectify any reference or credit line in subsequent editions.
National Library of Canada Cataloguing in Publication Data
Furlong, Gary T.
The conflict resolution toolbox : models & maps for analyzing,
diagnosing, and resolving conflict / Gary Furlong.
Includes index.
ISBN-13 978-0-470-83517-6
ISBN-10 0-470-83517-6
1. Conflict management. 2. Mediation. I. Title.
HM1126.F87 2005 303.6’9 C2005-900319-7
Production Credits:
Cover design: Mike Chan & Ian Koo
Interior text design: Adrian So R.G.D.
Front and back cover photo: Mike Chan
Printer: Tri-graphic Printing Ltd.
John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd
6045 Freemont Blvd.
Mississauga, Ontario
L5R 4J3
Printed in Canada
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
CONTENTS
Forewordxii
Acknowledgementsxv
Chapter One – Introduction1
We All “Practice” Conflict Resolution Daily3
Diagnosis: Finding the Root Causes of Conflict4
Theories vs. Models in a Practice Profession6
A Wide Range of Conflict Analysis Models11
Becoming a Reflective Practitioner13
Summary15
How to Use this Book17
Chapter Two – Overview of the Models19
Why These Eight Models?19
Model #1—The Circle of Conflict21
Model #2—The Triangle of Satisfaction21
Model #3—The Boundary Model22
Model #4—The Interests/Rights/Power Model22
Model #5—The Dynamics of Trust23
Model #6—The Dimensions Model23
viii Contents
Model #7—The Social Styles Model24
Model #8—Moving Beyond Conflict24
Chapter Three – The Conflict Story25
Case Study25
Chapter Four – Model #1: The Circle of Conflict29
Background of the Circle of Conflict Model29
Diagnosis with the Circle of Conflict30
Case Study: Circle of Conflict Diagnosis35
Strategic Direction from the Circle of Conflict38
Case Study: Circle of Conflict Strategic Direction40
Assessing and Applying the Circle of Conflict Model44
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the Circle of Conflict Model46
Additional Case Study—Circle of Conflict50
Circle of Conflict Worksheet: The Spanish Estate54
Chapter Five – Model #2: The Triangle of Satisfaction61
Background of the Triangle Model61
Diagnosis with the Triangle of Satisfaction61
Case Study: Triangle of Satisfaction Diagnosis64
Strategic Direction from the Triangle of Satisfaction68
Case Study: Triangle of Satisfaction Strategic Direction72
Assessing and Applying the Triangle of Satisfaction Model75
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the Triangle of Satisfaction Model77
Additional Case Study—Triangle of Satisfaction79
Chapter Six – Model #3: The Boundary Model89
Background of the Boundary Model89
Diagnosis with the Boundary Model89
Case Study: Boundary Model Diagnosis94
Strategic Direction from the Boundary Model96
Case Study: Boundary Model Strategic Direction98
Assessing and Applying the Boundary Model100
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the Boundary Model100
Additional Case Study—Boundary Model103
Contents ix
Chapter Seven – Model #4: Interests, Rights, and Power109
Background of the Interest/Rights/Power Model109
Case Study: I/R/P Diagnosis115
Strategic Direction from the I/R/P Model116
Case Study: I/R/P Strategic Direction118
Assessing and Applying the I/R/P Model119
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the I/R/P Model120
Additional Case Study—I/R/P Model122
Chapter Eight – Model #5: The Dynamics of Trust127
Background of the Trust Model127
Diagnosis with the Trust Model132
Case Study—Trust Model Diagnosis138
Strategic Direction from the Trust Model142
Case Study: Trust Model Strategic Direction150
Assessing and Applying the Trust Model155
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the Trust Model156
Additional Case Study—Trust Model158
Chapter Nine – Model #6: The Dimensions of Conflict167
Background of the Dimensions Model167
Diagnosis with the Dimensions Model167
Case Study: Dimensions Model Diagnosis172
Strategic Direction from the Dimensions Model174
Case Study: Dimensions Model Strategic Direction178
Assessing and Applying the Dimensions Model182
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the Dimensions Model183
Additional Case Study—Dimensions Model185
Chapter Ten – Model #7: The Social Style Model191
Background of the Social Style Model191
Diagnosis with the Social Style Model193
Case Study: Social Style Diagnosis198
Strategic Direction from the Social Style Model200
Case Study: Social Style Strategic Direction208
Assessing and Applying the Social Style Model209
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the Social Style Model210
Additional Case Study: Social Style Model213
x Contents
Chapter Eleven – Model #8: Moving Beyond the Conflict217
Background of the Moving Beyond Model217
Diagnosis with the Moving Beyond Model219
Stage One: Denial220
Stage Two: Anger221
Stage Three: Acceptance222
Case Study: Moving Beyond Diagnosis224
Strategic Direction from the Moving Beyond Model229
Case Study: Strategic Direction with
the Moving Beyond Model235
Assessing and Applying the Moving Beyond Model242
Practitioner’s Worksheet for the Moving Beyond Model243
Additional Case Study—Circle of Conflict244
Moving Beyond Model Diagnosis and Worksheet:
The Workplace Assault Case245
Moving Beyond Model Strategic Direction:
The Workplace Assault Case247
Chapter Twelve – Conclusion249
Index253
FOREWORD
Several years ago my life-companion Susan and I decided to
take a hiking vacation in France. We planned to walk a por-
tion of the Sentier de Grande Randonnée (GR), a network of
paths which, during the Middle Ages, were pilgrimage routes
between towns and cities in the North of Europe and famous
religious shrines in Southern France and Spain. While we were
not on a religious pilgrimage per se, we did want to spend
some good time together, be in touch with nature, and have a
bit of tranquility (which we do not always find in our work as
mediators). We also wanted to experience good French meals,
village hospitality, and scenic walks through charming French
countryside without losing our way, which we knew from past
hikes in unknown territory was all too easy to do.
So, in preparation for our vacation, we acquired a number
of maps—road maps, topographical maps, maps of towns and
villages, maps that showed the way to noteworthy scenery,
inns or restaurants. While it sounds like we are map fanatics,
this is really not the case. We merely wanted to use them as