The Body Language of Liars: From Little White Lies to Pathological Deception - How to See through the Fibs, Frauds, and Falsehoods People Tell You Every Day [

184 Pages·2013·2.97 MB·English

by  Lillian Glass

THE BODY LANGUAGE OF LIARS
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF LIARS
FROM LITTLE WHITE LIES TO
PATHOLOGICAL DECEPTION
How to See Through the Fibs, Frauds, and
Falsehoods People Tell You Every Day
LILLIAN GLASS, PHD
Best-selling author of Toxic People
Copyright © 2014 by Lillian Glass All rights reserved under the Pan-American
and International Copyright Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in
whole or in part, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical,
including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval
system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the
publisher, The Career Press.
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF LIARS
EDITED BY KIRSTEN DALLEY
LAYOUT AND DESIGN BY KARA KUMPEL
Cover design by Brad Foltz/Foltz Design
Printed in the U.S.A.
To order this title, please call toll-free 1-800-CAREER-1 (NJ and Canada: 201-
848-0310) to order using VISA or MasterCard, or for further information on
books from Career Press.
The Career Press, Inc.
220 West Parkway, Unit 12
Pompton Plains, NJ 07444
www.careerpress.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
CIP Data Available Upon Request.
To anyone who has ever felt shock, emotional pain, or heartache after
discovering that someone whom you trusted with all your heart, lied to
you.
May the pages of this book give you all of the information you will ever
need to quickly decipher and unveil who is real and who is phony, who is
telling you the truth and who is lying to you.
May what you learn in this book provide you with peace of mind, less
stress, and more confidence in your life.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to acknowledge my two precious muses—my beautiful, brilliant,
and charismatic mom, Rosalee Glass (“Miss Congeniality”), and my precious,
cuddly, incredibly smart baby goldendoodle, Annabella Glass, both of whom
always make me smile and count my blessings. Thank you for making my
writing breaks fun.
And thank you to my dear literary agent, Paula Munier; to Career Press; and
to Jennifer White at Splash News and Mary Velasco at Getty Images, for their
assistance in the use of the celebrity photos throughout this book.
CONTENTS
Introduction
Part I: Encountering the Liar: Who Lies, and Why?
Chapter 1: What Is a Lie?
Chapter 2: The Price of a Lie
Chapter 3: The Evolution of a Liar: Why Animals (Yes, Animals!), Children,
and Young People Lie
Chapter 4: The Seven Reasons Adults Lie
Chapter 5: Cyber Liars
Part II: Human Lie Detection
Chapter 6: Instincts and Context
Chapter 7: The Body Language of a Liar
Chapter 8: The Facial Language of a Liar
Chapter 9: The Voice of a Liar: Pitch, Volume, Tone, and Pacing
Chapter 10: Speech Content: It’s Not Just Words
Chapter 11: Your Lying Eyes: Lovers Who Cheat and Deceive
Chapter 12: A Profile of the Most Toxic Liar of All—The Psychopath/Sociopath
Conclusion: The Catharsis of Discovery
Index
About the Author
INTRODUCTION
Being fooled, conned, duped, or just plain lied to can happen to anyone. It
doesn’t matter how smart, old, rich, or famous you are. Almost everyone at one
point in their life, and in one way or another, has been the victim of a liar—
someone who has withheld the truth or given them false information. Whether
you have been unfortunate enough to have met up with someone who has
scammed you in business; swindled you out of money; betrayed you by
spreading falsehoods; stolen your lover, husband, or wife; conned you over the
Internet, or “catfished” you by purporting to be someone they were not—rest
assured that you are not alone. The world is full of these most toxic of people,
the liar.
When you find out that someone whom you once trusted, loved, or respected
deceived you, a myriad of strong emotions can arise. These emotions range from
feeling shocked, hurt, depressed, sad, and/or angry—sometimes all of them at
once. You wonder whom you can really trust or whether you can ever trust
again. You even tend to question your own judgment. You may even beat
yourself up emotionally as you constantly ask yourself why you didn’t see the
signs of their lies well ahead of time.
But realistically speaking, how could you have seen the signs if you didn’t
know what signs to look for?
How could you have known that your spouse was cheating on you, that a
suitor you met over the internet was a phony, that your housekeeper was stealing
from you, or that your babysitter was neglecting (or worse, abusing) your child?
How could you have known that your boss was full of it when he said your
performance was great, only to fire you the next day? How could you have
possibly known that your coworker was badmouthing you behind your back, or
that your employee was bilking funds from the petty cash? How could you have
been able to tell that your closest friend was being insincere when she told you
that marrying your troubled boyfriend was a great idea? What signals did you
miss when your son swore he never experimented with drugs, only to find his
bong and a stash of pot under his bed later?
How do you know whether you can trust what you read in the media about
certain newsmakers? Is that celebrity couple really in love, or is their
relationship merely a PR ploy? How can you be sure your political leaders are
telling you the truth, or that those on the world stage aren’t really lying to you?
Researcher and pioneer in the field of lying Paul Ekman of the University of
California San Francisco studied 12,000 people. He discovered that only a little
more than 50 percent of them were able to tell if someone was lying. Thus the
odds of being able to figure out whether someone is lying to you are not great.
However, these odds can increase dramatically when you know how to read
certain signals that will alert you to the fact that someone is not telling the truth.
My aim in writing this book is to help you increase those odds. I will teach you
how to trust your instincts when you have that “gut feeling” that someone is
lying to you. More specifically, I will show you what to look for in terms of
possible signals of deception in a person’s body language, facial language
(expressions and movements), voice patterns, and finally, their speech patterns—
how they say what they say and even what they write over the Internet.
MY BACKGROUND
As a body language analyst, I have been able to report the deception of
newsmakers—politicians, sports figures, world leaders, celebrities, and criminals
who appear throughout the media. I have done this for years. I have appeared
often on various national television shows such as 20/20, Dr. Phil, Entertainment
Tonight, ABC News, Good Morning America, CNN, The Today Show, The
Insider, HLN, Discovery Channel, MSNBC, and many other programs too
numerous to list here. I was even the body language expert for Dancing With the
Stars and Millionaire Matchmaker.
In addition, I regularly appear in newspapers, magazines, and all over the
Internet, where I comment on whether I think newsmakers are lying or telling
the truth. I explore whether celebrity couples are telling the truth about their
relationship or just presenting it as a public relations opportunity. As well, I
examine whether politicians or world leaders are telling us the truth, or merely
reciting some not-very-heartfelt rhetoric. I am constantly asked by the media to
examine the body language of those involved in high-profile criminal cases, and
whether I think suspects are exhibiting signals of deception or telling the truth.
Additionally, I report on whether those newsmakers involved in humiliating
public scandals are telling us the truth or lying through their teeth.
I have also drawn on my expertise as a body-language analyst in my lectures
to law enforcement across the United States and Canada on how to detect
deception during interrogations. Perhaps my biggest achievement was the honor