The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics

347 Pages·2011·17.25 MB·English

by  R. Lundy Bancroft

The Batterer

Parent 2

Lundy Bancroft • Jay G. Silverman • Daniel Ritchie

The Batterer

as

ç
Parent 2
Addressing
the Impact of
Domestic Violence
on Family Dynamics
SAGE Series on Violence Against Women
®SAGE

Los Angeles | London | New Delhi

Singapore | Washington DC
dSAGE

Los Angeles | London | New Delhi Copyright © 2012 by SAGE Publications, Inc.
Singapore | Washington DC
All rights reserved. No part of this book may
FOR INFORMATION:
be reproduced or utilized in any form or by
any means, electronic or mechanical, including
SAGE Publications, Inc.
photocopying, recording, or by any information
2455 Teller Road
storage and retrieval system, without permis­
Thousand Oaks, California 91320 sion in writing from the publisher.
E-mail: [email protected]
Printed in the United States of America.
SAGE Publications Ltd.
1 Oliver's Yard Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
55 City Road
London, EC1Y1SP Bancroft, Lundy.
United Kingdom The batterer as parent: addressing the impact
of domestic violence on family dynamics / Lundy
SAGE Publications India Pvt. Ltd. Bancroft, Jay G. Silverman, Daniel Ritchie. - 2nd ed.
p. cm. — (Sage series on violence against
Β1/11 Mohan Cooperative Industrial Area
women)
Mathura Road, New Delhi 110 044
Includes bibliographical references and index.
India ISBN 978-1-4129-7205-5 (pbk.)
1. Abusive men—United States. 2. Wife abuse-
SAGE Publications Asia-Pacific Re. Ltd. United States. 3. Family violence—United States.
33 Pekin Street #02-01 4. Victims of family violence—United States.
Far East Square I. Silverman, Jay G. II. Ritchie, Daniel, 1972­
III. Title.
Singapore 048763
HV6626.2.B25 2012
362.82'92-dc23 2011022426
Acquisitions Editor Kassie Graves This book is printed on acid-free paper.
Editorial Assistant: Courtney Munz
Production Editor: Karen Wiley 11 12 13 14 15 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Copy Editor: Pam Schroeder
Typesetter: Hurix
Proofreader: Gail Fay
Indexer: Jeanne Busemeyer
Cover Designer: Janet Kiesel
Marketing Manager: Katie Winter
Permissions Editor: Adele Hutchison
Contents
Foreword ix

Preface xiii

1. The Battering Problem 1

Defining Batterers 4

Characteristics of Batterers 6

Misconceptions About Batterers 22

Summary 32

2. Power Parenting: The Batterer's Style With Children 33

Typical Characteristics of Batterers as Parents 33

Effects on Children of Exposure to Domestic Violence 42

Child Abuse 54

The Batterer as Role Model 60

Children's Outlook on the Batterer 66

Summary 67

3. Shock Waves: The Batterer's Impact on the Home 69

Undermining of the Mother's Authority 72

Effects on Mother-Child Relationships 80

Use of Children as Weapons Against the Mother 92

The Batterer's Impact on Other Aspects of Family

Functioning 98

Resilience in Mother-Child and in Sibling Relationships 103

Summary 105

4. The Batterer as Incest Perpetrator 107

Lundy Bancroft and Margaret Miller
Review of Studies 107

The Predatory Child Molester Versus the Incest

Perpetrator 110
Shared Tactics of Batterers and Incest Perpetrator s 112

Shared Attitudes of Batterers and Incest Perpetrator s 115

Implications of the Overlap for Professional Response 118

Sexual Abuse Allegations in Custody and

Visitation Disputes 119

Summary 122

5. Impeding Recovery: The Batterer as Parent Postseparation 123

Creating a Context for Children's Healing 128

Batterers' Postseparation Conduct With Children 131

Batterers' Motivations for Seeking Custody or

Increased Visitation 140

Batterers' Advantages in Custody Disputes 142

Batterers' Tactics in Custody and Visitation Disputes 154

Effects on Children of Custody Litigation 161

Summary 161

6. The Mismeasure of Batterers as Parents: A Critique of

Prevailing Theories of Assessment 163

Influential Theories of Divorce 164

The Use of a Domestic Violence Typology to Assess

Risk to Children 177

The Overlooked Implications of Johnston, Campbell,

and Roseby's Own Observations 185

Summary 187

7. Supporting Recovery: Assessing Risk to Children From

Batterers and Structuring Visitation 189

Sources of Risk to Children From Unsupervised

Contact With Batterers 192

A Guide to Assessing Risk to Children From Batterers 198

Structuring Custody and Visitation 214

Summary 221

8. Is It Real? Assessing and Fostering Change in

Batterers as Parents 223

Steps to Change in Batterers 225

Misconceptions Regarding Change in Batterers 228

Evaluating Change in Batterers as Parents 229

Creating a Context for Change 231

Summary 233
9. Improving Community Responses to the Parenting

of Batterers 235

Child Advocates, Child and Family Therapists, and

Programs for Children Exposed to Domestic Violence 239

Custody Evaluators 250

Family Courts 255

Child Protection Systems and Courts With Protective

Jurisdiction 261

Parent Trainers 265

Psychological Evaluators 267

Batterer Programs and Fatherhood Programs 268

Battered Women's Programs 270

Supervised Visitation Centers 271

Family Lawyers and Bar Associations 272

Police Departments 273

Researchers 273

Summary 276

References 277

Index 309

About the Authors 325

Foreword

T
wenty years ago, my colleague David Wolfe and I began exten­
sive clinical and research explorations to better understand and
counsel children growing up in violent homes. We were troubled to
discover through our work that community professionals in various
helping and legal systems were largely overlooking the plight of chil­
dren exposed to the battering of their mothers. Although the potential
traumatic effects of child physical and sexual abuse were widely rec­
ognized at that time, the similar psychological impact on children of
domestic violence was little understood. The community appeared to
accept the misconception that children without visible injuries could
not be suffering great harm.
A further obstacle to expanding professional understanding in this
area has been the tendency of batterers to make themselves unavail­
able for participation in services or research studies, so they have
often remained invisible and poorly understood. Our early studies, for
example, often centered on abused women in shelters because of their
accessibility to us. Unfortunately, this focus led us to link children's
emotional and behavioral problems primarily to their mother's physi­
cal and psychological well-being, without adequate attention to how
the conduct of batterers was fomenting the dynamics we were observ­
ing. While we were correct in observing that children often recovered
more successfully when their mothers healed well, we did not always
recognize the complexity of the psychological injury to children and
the disruption to family dynamics that batterers can cause.
Fortunately, progress in this area has been substantial in recent
years. Since we wrote Children of Battered Women in 1990, there have
been many important scholarly publications on the special needs of
children in violent homes, which in turn have contributed to steps for­
ward in policy, research, intervention, and prevention. Many commu­
nities in the United States and Canada now offer specialized programs
ix