Table Of ContenttheAttraction Handbook
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Copyright 2006 theApproach
theAttraction Handbook
-Prologue-
The world has changed. Over the last 200 years, there has been more evolution in
human sexuality than in the 2000 years before that. With the advent of communication,
contraceptives, and globalization, people have more choices available to them then ever
before - and they're using it.
The days of a woman placing her future on the altar and her marital bed are over.
We've been replaced with ultimate choice - and with communication becoming cheaper
and easier, people are turning to new mediums like never before.
The rich are getting richer - sexually that is. Quality people want other quality peo-
ple. Quality women want quality men.
This is a simple truth that many will buck. But if you can understand this:
Quality women want quality men,
Then, you can succeed. But what is a quality man, and how do you become one?
This will be clear to you in about 100 pages. Get ready for what might be the most im-
portant reading of your life, because this tome is one of social skills, and the world is
one of social interaction. Brace yourself.
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-Dedication -
“I cannot fathom how I could heap enough honors upon Vincent DiCarlo -
my best friend, and a man of so much character, so much heart, and so much
life. He is nothing short of a genius, and has been one of the ultimate inspira-
tions in my life. He brings a steady hand to my quick-draw approach, and I can
only think that in the few years I've spent with him, I've made the growth of
lifetimes. He is the stuff of legends, and Vincent, God bless you man, a person
could not ask for a better friend in this world.”
-Sebastian Drake
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-Special Thanks-
“If I reach the heavens, it will be only because I stand on the shoulders of giants.
My most sincere thanks to Noah, Franco, Scott, JC, Jerry, Mook who will never really
know just how much I learn just by spending time with him, Dan, Chase, Ferrarri,
Stripped, Miso, Ryan and Andy and the rest of the crew, Mag who is arguably the most
patient tolerant forgiving enlightened person I know, Julian, Paul, Arm, John - the most
successful businessman I've ever known and a father figure to me even though we just
drink and have sex with girls when we hang, Dave "what's up doc", Alex, Mr. Black -
another true inspirational larger than life figure, Tyler, Andrew, Steve, Carlos, Jay and
his yellow '05 Hummer luxury assault vechile, Rey, Evan Marcus and Rob, Harm,
Merch, Ace, and all of Texas.
Also, thanks and love to "Santa" Crisa, Nat, Sachiko, Chao, Coco, Dorothy, Jenna,
Kristina, Jen, Kate, and of course my lil' kitty-chan. All you girls enriched my life so
much, and I miss you and wish I had more time to spend with you :)”
-Thank You For Pre-Ordering!-
Thanks for preordering theApproach Ebook. This copy is yours and yours alone, and
contains some of the exclusive pre-release content. Each copy of the preorder is slightly
unique, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks for putting your faith in us. If you wind up taking a program with theAp-
proach, feel free to bring a printed copy for your instructor to sign ;) We wouldn't be
able to do what we're doing without people loyal to theApproach and what we stand for,
and eager to improve.
God bless you,
Sebastian
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theAttraction Handbook
-Contents-
Prologue ....................................................................................................................... 2
Dedication.................................................................................................................... 3
Special Thanks............................................................................................................ 4
Contents ....................................................................................................................... 5
Pirates! ......................................................................................................................... 7
What is Attraction?..................................................................................................... 8
The #1 Mistake Guys Make ..................................................................................... 11
The #2 Biggest Mistake Guys Make...................................................................... 12
Focus ............................................................................................................................. 13
Primary Focus.............................................................................................................. 13
Secondary Focus ......................................................................................................... 14
Tertiary Focus.............................................................................................................. 14
Beware the Vertigo Effect! ........................................................................................ 15
Vertigo Examples........................................................................................................ 15
The Most Important Thing about Focus ................................................................ 17
The Five Types of Openers....................................................................................... 18
Opening........................................................................................................................ 18
Genuine Interest ......................................................................................................... 18
Implicit ......................................................................................................................... 19
Situational.................................................................................................................... 19
Indirect ......................................................................................................................... 20
Nonverbal/Playful...................................................................................................... 21
Base Level Compliance.............................................................................................. 22
Attainability ................................................................................................................ 24
Having Standards ....................................................................................................... 28
How to Get Her Contact Information..................................................................... 29
Phone Game................................................................................................................. 31
Texting.......................................................................................................................... 31
The First Call ............................................................................................................... 31
The “Three C’s” of Dating ........................................................................................ 32
Stock Good Dates ....................................................................................................... 32
Memory is Non-Linear .............................................................................................. 32
Situational Relevance ................................................................................................ 34
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Thread Cutting............................................................................................................ 35
SitRel Keywords......................................................................................................... 36
Advanced Thread-cutting ......................................................................................... 37
Closing Dates .............................................................................................................. 40
Escalation ..................................................................................................................... 41
Last Minute Reservations ......................................................................................... 42
The Two Types of LMR ............................................................................................ 42
Converting Her into a Relationship........................................................................ 43
Ming Dynasty.............................................................................................................. 44
Drawing the Battle Lines .......................................................................................... 45
Precedence.................................................................................................................... 46
Intention Maps............................................................................................................ 49
Exclusive Relationships ............................................................................................ 50
Open Relationships ................................................................................................... 50
Friends w/ Benefits..................................................................................................... 50
iMaps Phase One........................................................................................................ 52
iMaps Phase Two........................................................................................................ 53
iMaps Phase Three ..................................................................................................... 54
Lifestyle........................................................................................................................ 55
Non-Verbal Image Projection .................................................................................. 55
The Difference Between being Good Looking and Looking Good ................. 55
A Word on Health....................................................................................................... 56
Fashion and Dress ...................................................................................................... 57
Accessories................................................................................................................... 58
What Articles to Get First.......................................................................................... 59
Body Language............................................................................................................ 61
The Three Types of Kino .......................................................................................... 62
Fluidity in Motion...................................................................................................... 63
Getting Results ........................................................................................................... 64
Where to Meet Women.............................................................................................. 65
Get Out There! ............................................................................................................ 66
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“Ahoy there, matey!
Pirates. People who download products that are sold online. For Free. *gasp*
The biggest knock against pirating isn't what happens to me. It's what happens to you.
In this book, we'll cover what makes someone attracted to something - anything. It can easily
be extrapolated... if you downloaded this instead of paying for it, it's likely you won't feel in-
clined and motivated to finish this book and apply it for many wonderful changes in your life.
Know anyone that downloads tons of things for free? Music? Video games? Ebooks? I
do. And these people rarely pay attention to any one thing, and get the value they could out
of them. I know a guy who at a free talk I was giving mentioned he'd downloaded over 10,000
ebooks - Whoa. I didn't know that many ebooks were out there.
He hadn't read more than a few pages of most of them. They were doing him no good.
So here's what I've got to say - This is my livelihood, and my fulltime job. Your purchase
of this ebook supports research and development of new concepts in the social field, and
we're making the world a better place. So - thank you for purchasing.
If however, you're one of those scurvy net-pirates, here's what I've got to say. Do focus
on this book, and use it to make your life better. Improve socially and become more happy.
That's what I want for the world.
Then go out and make a positive difference, actually learn and grow and change. Don't
download this book and not read it. Then you're breaking the law and not even getting any-
thing out of it my man. Apply the concepts in this book diligently, read through it and refer
to it. Make this your #1 reference, because it really is the best.
Then remember to support the cause. It's what lets us continue to research and write in
this field, and in doing so you'll feel more dedicated to your own success. People who pay for
this book have exactly 317.25% more success than people who don't. Really.
Sebastian
Donate now: http://www.the-approach.net/donate.php
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theAttraction Handbook
“What is Attraction?”
Many men do not what Attraction is. They are aware that the thing exists, and that some-
times they get attracted to certain girls, and sometimes girls get attracted to certain men - but as
for causing attraction? Not a clue.
Well, the word "Attraction" has different meanings, depending on the context. At theAp-
proach, when we talk about Attraction, we talk about one thing:
Actionable Attraction
Actionable Attraction is precise and practical. A girl is attracted when she has a burning
desire to be with you. When a girl has a burning desire to be with you, then you can choose to
have sex, choose to have a relationship, at your leisure.
WHAT GENERATES ATTRACTION?
Attraction is always a result of three things:
Value
Attainability
Compliance
We call this VAC for short.
Value is something that fills a conscious or subconscious need.
Attainability is the idea that you have a chance at something.
Compliance is how much work you put into getting something.
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Value: Value is something that fills a conscious or subconscious need for a person.
For example, when a man wants a car.
Car's value: Consciously, it's transportation. Subconsciously, it's a show of status.
Attainability: Attainability is the idea that you can have something.
People do not want things they have no chance of having.
Case in point: Attraction is not value-based. If it were, every man in the world would be
seriously attracted to the idea of owning a yacht. Think about a yacht - It represents travel, free-
dom, luxury, status. It can be used for adventures and enjoyment.
And yet, most men are not desiring a yacht. The reason is that a yacht is unattainable to
most men - not realistically achievable. When something is unattainable to someone, the person
will go into Auto-Rejection. This is where the person rejects the item automatically... but they're
really rejecting themselves.
So a man is valuable. He has many things in his life in order, communicates himself well,
and is appealing to women. He is attainable to a woman he approaches and talks to, and con-
verses with her for 30 minutes. He's going on and on, and yet she's not attracted. Why?
Compliance: Compliance is work or effort put into something. The more effort someone
puts into something, the more they like and respect it. This is known as the Cost-Worth Concep-
tion.
The more something costs, the more a person will rationalize it's worth.
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Case in point: The carnival. If you've ever been to a carnival, or amusement park, you
might have seen the games there. The games at a carnival are hard to win, expensive to play,
and have pretty cheap stuffed animals as prizes to them.
And yet, when someone wins? They feel ECSTATIC! They're so happy to have won, they
pump their fist, and often will give the stuffed toy to a loved one as a show of devotion, or even
put it on one of their shelves like a trophy!
If this toy were given away for free on the streets as a promotion, would the person even
take it? If one were forced upon them, what would they do with it? Likely throw it away.
This is classical Cost-Worth. When the toy takes a significant amount of money, and some
skill to win, the person has paid a significant cost, so they rationalize the toy is worth some-
thing. When it's free, the cost is 0 and so is the worth.
This book is laid out for the most long-term readability, and long-term usability. You'll see a lot of
linking around through the book, especially early on. That's because many of the sections that are neces-
sary baseline stuff for advancement get handled and then you can largely move on with your life. Read
this more like a holy book and less like a novel and you'll be in great shape.
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