The Adoption Answer Book: Your Compete Guide to a Successful Adoption

274 Pages·2007·6.38 MB·English

by  Brette McWhorter Sember

AdoptionAB_full.qxd 6/4/07 11:08 AM Page 1
TTHHEE
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The Answers You Need for a
A
AA DOPTION
Smooth and Successful Adoption
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OO Answer Book
Bringing a child into your home may be one of the happiest events in your life.
But deciding toadopt can also raise a lot of questions.The Adoption Answer Book
PP
is your legal and practical guide to the adoption process.It covers all the differ-
ent types of adoption and thoroughly explains the processes and procedures you
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need togo through to make your dream of adopting a child a reality.
Your Complete Guide to a Successful Adoption
II
This book answers these questions and many more:
OO
Procedures and Domestic Agencies Closed vs.Open
n n n
Documents Adoptions
n How do I decide whether to nWhat is a home study,and what is the NN nInternational
Raising an Adoptions Birth Parents’Rights
adopt? best way to prepare for one? n n
Adopted Child and Roles
nCan I adopt my stepchild? nWhat problems might I encounter in AA
the adoption process?
nShould I have an open or
NN
closed adoption? n How much does it cost to adopt a child?
nHow do I adopt a child from nOnce I adopt a child,can the biological SS
another country? parent change his or her mind?
WW
Whether you are thinking about adoption or have already started the process, EE
TheAdoption Answer Bookhas the information you need to reach your dream.
RR
SPHINX® PUBLISHING Parenting/Pregnancy $14.95 U.S.
ANIMPRINTOFSOURCEBOOKS,INC.® $19.95 CAN BBOOOOKK
NAPERVILLE,ILLINOIS ISBN-13: 978-1-57248-607-2 £7.99 UK
www.SphinxLegal.com
ISBN-10: 1-57248-607-4
SEMBER
C N
P A
U E
B M W S
RETTE C HORTER EMBER
AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page i
THE
A D O P T I O N
Answer Book
B M W S
RETTE C HORTER EMBER
S P
PHINX® UBLISHING
ANIMPRINTOFSOURCEBOOKS, INC.®
NAPERVILLE, ILLINOIS
www.SphinxLegal.com
AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page ii
Copyright © 2007 by Brette McWhorter Sember
Cover and internal design © 2007 by Sourcebooks,Inc.®
Cover photos © 2007 by Punchstock,Inc.
All rights reserved.No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any elec-
tronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in
the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in
writing from its publisher,Sourcebooks,Inc.Purchasers of the book are granted license to
use the forms contained herein for their own personal use.No claim of copyright is made to
any government form reproduced herein.All brand names and product names used in this
book are trademarks,registered trademarks,or trade names of their respective holders.
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks,Inc.Portions of
this book were previously published as The Complete Adoption and Fertility Legal Guide.
First Edition:2007
Published by:Sphinx®Publishing,An Imprint of Sourcebooks,Inc.®
Naperville Office
P.O.Box 4410
Naperville,Illinois 60567-4410
630-961-3900
Fax:[phone]
www.sourcebooks.com
www.SphinxLegal.com
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject
matter covered.It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal,
accounting,or other professional service.If legal advice or other expert assistance is required,the services
of a competent professional person should be sought.
From a Declaration of Principles Jointly Adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations
This product is not a substitute for legal advice.
Disclaimer required by Texas statutes.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Sember,Brette McWhorter,1968-
The adoption answer book / by Brette McWhorter Sember.-- 1st ed.
p.cm.
ISBN-13:978-1-57248-713-0 (pbk.:alk.paper)
ISBN-10:1-57248-713-5 (pbk.:alk.paper)
1. Adoption--United States.2. Adoption--Law and legislation--United
States. I.Title.
HV875.55.S45 2007
362.7340973--dc22 2007015207
Printed and bound in the United States of America.
SB — 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page iii
Contents
Introduction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ix
Chapter 1: Choosing Adoption. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Deciding to Adopt
Adoption and Fertility Treatments
Legal Effects
Birth Parents’ Rights and Roles
Extended Birth Family
Legal Process
Adoption Support
Preparing for the Adoption Roller Coaster
Preparing for the Future
Chapter 2: Adoption Decisions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Open vs. Closed Adoption
Domestic vs. International Adoption
Agency vs. Private Adoption
Finding and Choosing an Agency
Finding and Choosing an Attorney
Facilitators
Affording Adoption
Chapter 3: Adoption Procedures. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Home Studies
Consent
Adoption Court Procedures
Post Placement
Birth Certificates
Adoption Financial Credits
AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page iv
iv The Adoption Answer Book
Family Leave
Insurance and Planning for the Future
Chapter 4: Second-Parent Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Deciding to Adopt a Stepchild
Qualifications to Adopt
Notice or Consent
Pre-Adoption Procedures
Second-Parent Adoption Process
Chapter 5: Domestic Agency Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Public Agencies
Agency Liability
Private Agency Adoption
Interstate Issues
Ethnic Concerns
Dealing with Problems
Chapter 6: International Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Choosing an Agency
Choosing a Country
Choosing a Child
Dealing with Paperwork
The Process
Dealing with Immigration
Citizenship
Readoption
Changes in Adoption Law
Dealing with Problems
Chapter 7: Parent-Initiated Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
Adopting Independently with an Agency
How to Find a Birth Mother
Facilitator
AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page v
Contents v
Advertising
Choosing a Birth Mother
Contact with Birth Mother
Payments
Counseling
Waiting for Your Child to Be Born
Paperwork
Adjustment Period
Dealing with Problems
Chapter 8: Single-Parent Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
Considerations for Single-Parent Adoption
Bias Against Single Parents
Home Studies
Laws Governing Single-Parent Adoption
Protecting Your Family
Raising Your Child
Chapter 9: Gay and Lesbian Adoption. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
Single-Parent Adoption
Second-Parent Adoption
Couple Adoption
International Adoption
Finding Gay-Friendly Adoption Agencies
Raising an Adoptive Child in a Gay Family
Chapter 10: Kinship Adoption . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
Types of Kinship Adoptions
Adoption vs. Guardianship
Custody vs. Adoption
Adoption vs. Foster Care
Notice and Consent
Kinship Agreements
Agency Involvement
AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page vi
vi The Adoption Answer Book
Court Proceedings
Finalization
Coping with Kinship Adoption
Chapter 11: Adult Adoption. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
Evaluating the Need for Adult Adoption
Restrictions
Consent
Legal Procedure
Effect of Adult Adoption
Chapter 12: Embryo Donation/Adoption. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
Finding a Donor
Embryo Adoption
Legal Effect
Costs
Agreement
Chapter 13: Surrogacy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
Surrogacy Laws
Surrogacy Programs
Finding a Surrogate on Your Own
Surrogacy Agreements
Payment Issues
Insurance Coverage
Problems with Surrogacy
Other Steps to Protect Yourself
Chapter 14: Coping with Adoption. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159
Dealing with Reactions to Adoption
Dealing with Others Involved in Your Case
Dealing with the Waiting
Dealing with Doubts
Changing Your Mind
AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page vii
Contents vii
Taking Time Off for Your Adoption
Bonding with an Adopted Child
Dealing with Adoption Disappointments
Chapter 15: Raising an Adopted Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167
Celebrating Your Adoption
Worrying about Your Adoption
Breastfeeding an Adopted Infant
Talking to Your Existing Children about Adoption
Raising Biological and Adopted Siblings
Talking to Your Adoptive Child about the Adoption
Keeping an Adoption a Secret
Cultural Heritage
Medical Issues
Post-Adoption Support
Finding Birth Parents
Glossary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Appendix A: Resources. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183
Appendix B: State Adoption Specialist, Photolisting, and
Foster Care Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
Appendix C: Sample Adoption Forms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 257
About the Author. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 262
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AABook_frontmatter 5/7/07 2:23 PM Page ix
Introduction
Adoption is a very special and magical thing. A child is born to other
people and becomes part of your family—legally , emotionally, and
completely. Whether you ar e considering adoption or have alr eady
decided it is what you want, you probably have a lot of questions about
the types of adoption available, the costs, and the procedures. This book
is your legal and practical guide through all of the options before you.
If you are interested in adopting a U.S. child, you can work with a
domestic public agency or a domestic private agency , or you can work
with an adoption facilitator or locate a birth mother on your own. You
may also be considering an international adoption, wher e you adopt a
child from another country. If you are a stepparent, you may be inter-
ested in becoming your stepchild’s legal par ent thr ough adoption.
Foster parenting is an option that might appeal to you. Embryo dona-
tion/adoption and surr ogacy are other methods of adding a child to
your family using an adoption pr ocess that you may be considering.
This book addresses all of these choices, and explains the processes and
procedures you need to go through to bring your dream to reality.
Whether you are married, a straight single, a gay single, or part of a
gay marriage or partnership, there are a wide variety of adoption oppor-
tunities for you to consider and pursue as you see fit. Adoption is
considered by people who have children, have had unsuccessful fertility
treatments, have never tried to have childr en, or who ar e currently
undergoing fertility treatments. Whatever walk of life you ar e coming
from, adoption is an option that can work for you.
While this book strives to give you the most up-to-date information
available, laws are always changing, so you must always do your own
research to make sure you get the most current information possible. It