The Action Hero's Handbook: How to Catch a Great White Shark, Perform the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, Track a Fugitive, and Dozens of Other TV and Movie Skills

244 Pages·2002·5.88 MB·English

by  David Borgenicht

THE ACTION HERO’S HANDBOOK
Warning: The skills taught within this handbook are meant for the use of true action heroes only
—not for evil geniuses, criminal masterminds, or bad guys of any type. If you fall into one of
these categories, put this book down immediately and slowly back away from the register. (We
have inserted a traceable microchip inside the binding of this book, so do not attempt to abscond
with it—we will be watching you.) Although the information within comes directly from highly
trained professionals in the situations at hand, we present it for entertainment purposes only—
use it at your own risk. Moreover, we do not assert that the information presented within is
complete, safe, or accurate for the situation you may find yourself embroiled in. The authors, the
publishers, and the experts within hereby disclaim any liability from any harm, injury, or
damage due to the use or misuse of the information contained within this book. Finally, nothing
in this book should be construed or interpreted to infringe or encourage infringement of the
rights of other persons or of any state, federal, global, or universal laws. All activities described
should be conducted in accordance with the law—even if the laser is about to slice through your
body armor.
—The Authors

Copyright © 2002 by Quirk Productions, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced
in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2002091083
eISBN: 978-1-59474585-0
Designed by Frances J. Soo Ping Chow
Illustrations by Larry Jost e-book production management by Melissa Jacobson Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com
v3.1
CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Introduction
Chapter One:
Good Guy Skills
How to Secure/Spyproof a Hotel Room
How to Secure and Read a Crime Scene
How to Take Fingerprints
How to Track a Fugitive
How to Interrogate a Suspect
How to Survive in Prison When You’re Wrongly Incarcerated
How to Catch a Great White Shark
How to Tell When Someone Is Really Dead
How to Save Someone Who Has Flat-Lined
How to Drive a Bus at High Speed
How to Negotiate a Hostage Crisis
How to Take a Bullet
How to Save Someone from Being Hit by a Speeding Car
How to Save Someone Who’s Hanging from a Cliff
Chapter Two:
Love Skills
How to Stop a Wedding
How to Dirty Dance
How to Make and Use a Love Potion
How to Pick Someone Up in a Bar
How to Turn Sexual Tension into Mad, Passionate Sex
Chapter Three:
Paranormal Skills
How to Communicate with an Extraterrestrial
How to Contact the Dead
How to Fend Off a Ghost
How to Predict the Future
How to Perform the Jedi Mind Trick
How to Perform the Vulcan Nerve Pinch
Chapter Four:
Fighting Skills
How to Train for a World Championship Title Fight
How to Take a Hit with a Chair
How to Draw and Win a Gunfight
How to Be Ready for Anything
How to Win a Fight When You’re Outnumbered
How to Disarm a Thug with a Gun
Chapter Five:
Escape Skills
How to Evade a MiG
How to Fix Your Space Shuttle on Reentry
How to Make a Clean Getaway
How to Win a High-Speed Car Chase
How to Win a High-Speed Chase on Foot
How to Catch Someone in the Air When You Don’t Have a Parachute
How to Crash Through a Window
How to Escape from Handcuffs
How to Navigate a Ventilation Shaft
How to Escape a Sinking Cruise Ship
How to Climb Down Mount Rushmore
About Our Experts
About the Authors
Acknowledgments
INTRODUCTION
Action heroes are made, not born. Even those with superpowers and
precocious talents had to start somewhere. After all, did you really think
that Superman could always leap tall buildings in a single bound, that
James Bond always knew to drink martinis shaken (not stirred), or that
Indiana Jones was born with a whip in his hand instead of a rattle? Of
course not—every action hero shows a clear aptitude for heroism, but
needs guidance along the way.
In the beginning, every action hero is just an ordinary but good man
or woman. The hero must first identify and then hone his skills and
talents. Then, before he achieves hero status, he’ll have to overcome a
series of obstacles (physical, emotional, or paranormal). And somehow,
through the cumulative effect of his upbringing (good or bad), formative
life experiences, an apprenticeship, and the occasional bite of a
radioactive insect, his inner action hero eventually comes to the surface.
But even after he’s saved his first dude or damsel in distress, or
thwarted his first plot for world domination, there are times when the
most accomplished action heroes still need a little help. No man or
woman is an island—and this applies to secret agents, hot private
detectives in cat suits, capable Vulcans and Jedi Knights, and rugged
archaeologists alike.
That’s where this book comes in. This book truly is your guide to
keeping up with the Indiana Joneses. It’s the only primer on the essential
skills all action heroes must know to survive and thrive in this dangerous
world—Good Guy Skills, Love Skills, Paranormal Skills, Fighting Skills,
Escape Skills—all from real experts in the subject at hand.
The skills we teach have all been featured in television shows and
movies. But before now you’ve never been able to read a real-world,
step-by-step, how-to guide to these skills. Let us reiterate: all of the
information in this book is completely real. Want to know how to really
catch a great white shark? To actually deliver a Vulcan Nerve Pinch? To
spyproof your hotel room? To win a fight when outnumbered? To climb
down Mount Rushmore National Monument? It’s all inside. We spoke
with FBI agents, sexologists, stuntmen, hypnotists, karate masters,
criminologists, detectives, and dozens of other highly trained
professionals to obtain real-world solutions to the kinds of situations that
usually only happen to people with very cool names, unusually tight
clothing, and few (if any) sweat glands.
So use the information wisely—and whatever you do, don’t let this
book fall into the wrong hands.
Read on, and good luck—we’re counting on you.
—The Authors