Table Of ContentH
The imple Effective
to Cure Our
~y
Emotional rymptoms
HENRY KELLERMAN. Ph.D.
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD PUBLISHERS, INC.
Lanham • Boulder • New York • Toronto • Plymouth, UK
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD PUBLISHERS, INC.
Published in the United States of America
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Copyright © 2007 by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
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British Library Cataloging in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kellerman, Henry.
The 4 steps to peace of mind : the simple effective way to cure
our emotional symptoms I Henry Kellerman.
p. em.
Includes index.
ISBN-13: 978-0-7425-5878-6 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Psychoanalysis. 2. Symptoms. 3. Psychotherapy. I. Title.
II. Title: Four steps to peace of mind.
RC506.K438 2007
616.89'17-dc22 2007015692
Printed in the United States of America
@™ The paper used in this publication meets the minimum
requirements of American National Standard for Information
Sciences-Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials,
ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
To the memory of
Nathan Kamen
teacher-dear friend-great pathfinder
CONTENTS
Introduction 1
Part 1: The Key to Unlocking the Symptom:
The One, Two, Three, and Four of Symptom Cure
1 Point One Is the Wish 7
2 Point Two Is the Anger 13
3 Point Three Is the Who 21
4 Point Four Is To Do 29
Part II: Let's Try Using the Symptom Code with
Actual Symptoms
5 A Case of Compulsion: Bottles under the Bed 35
6 A Case of an Intrusive Thought: Fear of
Strangling Someone 45
7 A Case of Morbid Preoccupation:
Gazing at Corpses 55
v
vi Contents
8 A Case of Body Delusion: Holes All Over
MyBody 65
9 A Case of Obsession: Thinking about Death 77
Part III: What Does the Symptom Really Mean?
10 The Symptom is a Neurotic Way to Gratify the
Original Wish 89
11 Inaccessible Symptoms: Those that Resist the
Cure, and Why 99
Part IV: Symptoms that Need Medicine to be Cured
12 A Case of Compulsive Hoarding: Chaos 109
13 A Case of Anorexia: "Not Thin Enough" 119
14 A Case of Agoraphobia: "I'm Not Going to
Work Today!" 129
15 A Case of Delusional Self-Incrimination:
"No Writing!" 139
16 A Case of Split Personality: The Sexual Self,
the Aggressive Self, and the Self Self 147
Part V: Summary of the Symptom Code
17 Summary of the Symptom Code and
All Its Phases 159
Index 165
About the Author 169
INTRODUCTION
" This anxiety is driving me crazy," a woman said. A man
said: "I can't stop counting everything I do-count,
count, count--see, I said it three times." Another woman cried:
"I'm always crying-at the slightest thing-damn it." Answering
for her husband, still another woman said: "He can't face going to
any social thing-parties, weddings, anything." And then there
was the man who reported that every night before he could go to
sleep, he would need to check the locks on his front door-" over
and over;' he said. And how about this man who said, "Things
pop into my head and sometimes they scare me, like I might do
something wrong to someone." And then, while holding a hand
kerchief over his mouth, another man said: "I don't touch door
knobs, or light switches, or anything that's loaded with germs."
All of these people are talking about their psychological
symptoms. Migraine headaches, fear of heights, fear of open
spaces, scary thoughts that you can't shake, obsessions, ritual be
haviors, compulsions, and thousands of others. Have you ever
had any? Not to worry. Actually, just about all people have such
symptoms at one time or another.
When I first trained as a psychologist and then as a psycho
analyst, these were some of the problems that interested me. So,
1
2 Introduction
in the past nearly fifty years, I've worked with people in clinics
and hospitals, as well as in private practice, ~nd have had the
chance to see all kinds of symptoms up close. In most cases,
when I asked them, patients would usually say that it was their
main relationship (or not having one) that bothered them. Yet,
what they would always, always say when it came to the cure,
was that it was their symptom that they wanted cured.
WHAT IS AN EMOTIONAL/
PSYCHOLOGICAL SYMPTOM?
When people sense that they're having an experience that they
can't control, it's a good bet that they're already in touch with
the eerie presence of a symptom. An emotional/psychological
symptom, therefore, is some experience that you feel is really
out of your control. Basically, you just can't control it. Rather,
your symptom controls you, and on top of it all, there's not
much you can do about it. The symptom will dominate you. It's
at such times that you know that some inner force--different
and greater than the force of your conscious mind-is present.
And so, if you've ever had such an experience, then you know
that it feels strange, it's definitely inconvenient, and, a lot of the
time, it's even downright embarrassing.
DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO CURE
A PSYCHOLOGICAL SYMPTOM?
Over the years, I slowly began to tease out the core elements
of the symptom-to see inside-into how a psychological
Introduction 3
symptom works, how it develops, and how curing it might
then be accomplished. The fantastic fact is that psycho
therapists have never really had a map or an instruction man
ual that they all could follow so that any symptom could be
unlocked and cured. Yet, even though psychotherapists know
a great deal about the process of psychotherapeutic treatment,
the sad fact is that nowhere is there any spelled-out technique
that therapists use to systematically penetrate the symptom and
then cure it. Well, the symptom can't just be wished away and
it can't be reasoned with-it won't listen! To cure the symp
tom, you need to know its code-what it's made of. Even Sig
mund Freud, who told us a lot about symptoms, never set
forth the equation, the formula, the basic code of the symp
tom, so that then we would know how to reach into its core
and cure it.
WHAT THIS BOOK AIMS TO DO
Exactly such a formula-a symptom code, as I call it-will be
set forth in this book. When used, this formula can unfold, pen
etrate, and cure the symptom. In other words, it is my aim that
a person can use this book to understand, alleviate, and, yes,
even cure, his or her own symptom-and thereby gain a greater
measure of peace of mind. In some cases, a combination of the
symptom code and medication is needed to improve or allevi
ate a symptom.
In part I, I describe the four points of the symptom code,
which I've briefly outlined here:
