Teenage Girls: Exploring Issues Adolescent Girls Face and Strategies to Help Them (Youth Specialties)

242 Pages·2006·4.25 MB·English

by  Ginny Olson

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Teenage Girls: Exploring Issues Adolescent Girls
Face and Strategies to Help Them
Ginny Olson
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Teenage Girls: Exploring Issues Adolescent Girls Face and Strategies to Help Them
Adobe® Acrobat® eBook Reader® format
Copyright © 2006 by Ginny Olson
Youth Specialties products, 300 South Pierce Street, El Cajon, CA 92020 are published by
Zondervan, 5300 Patterson Avenue Southeast, Grand Rapids, MI 49530.
ISBN: 0-310-66976-6
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible: New
International Version (North American Edition). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International
Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or
any other (except for brief quotations in printed reviews)—without the prior permission of the
publisher.
Web site addresses listed in this book were current at the time of publication. Please contact
Youth Specialties via e-mail ([email protected]) to report URLs that are no longer
operational and replacement URLs if available.
Creative Team: Dave Urbanski, Laura Gross, Heather Haggerty, Janie Wilkerson,
and Mark Novelli
Cover design by Burnkit
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’ve worked with, ministered to, and studied adolescent girls since I was an adoles-
cent myself, so having the chance to write this book is a dream come true. And as is
the case with most dreams realized, there are many people who’ve helped bring it
into being, and I am deeply indebted to them. A huge round of thanks belongs to the
team at Youth Specialties: Jay Howver, for the opportunity to take on this challenge
and having the confi dence in me that I could do it; Roni Meek, who graciously kept
me moving forward and gave her excellent guidance to the process; Dave Urbanski,
who with his amazing talent always makes me sound better than I deserve; Laura
Gross, who meticulously combed through the details to make sure the manuscript
was accurate (any errors are mine, not hers); and of course the rest of the YS team
who give so much of their lives to fi guring out how to best support those in the youth
ministry trenches.
I am also grateful for my colleagues at the Center for Youth Ministry Studies at
North Park University. Jim Dekker and Alison Burkhardt selfl essly stepped in to
carry the lion’s share of the load at school to allow me time to research and write.
They have been amazing encouragers along this journey. And I am so appreciative
for the rest of the Dekker clan who supported me along the way with encouragement,
insights, and unbelievable home-cooked meals.
This process would have been much more diffi cult if it weren’t for a small group
of friends who committed to pray for me and constantly communicated their support
as I was in my “writing cave”: Alise Barrymore (and the Emmaus Community), Deb-
bie Blue, Justine Conley, Janice Knight, Andrea Sanderson, Terryl Scarbrough, and
Gerald and Cynthia Stewart (and the Faith Community of St. Sabina). I am thankful
for their friendship in ways they will never know. And of course, I owe a large debt
of thanks to the numerous youth workers and adolescent girls who willingly and
graciously shared their stories with me over the months and years. Their insights
proved to be invaluable.
And fi nally, this book is dedicated to my mother, who patiently loved and prayed
two daughters through the journey of adolescence. Through her life, she showed us
what it meant to be a woman of God and to dream big dreams. And for that I am
extremely grateful.
—Ginny Olson
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CONTENTS
Contents
No Tourists Need Apply 7
Chapter 1: Identity Matters 15
Background 17
Infl uences on Identity Development 19
The Contexts of Identity Development 20
Self-Esteem 27
The Youth Worker’s Role 28
Chapter 2: The Adolescent Girl’s Body—In Search of “Normal” 31
Her Body Is Changing 33
Her Secondary Sex Characteristics 36
Her Primary Sex Characteristics 38
Early Maturation 42
Late Maturation 44
Strategies for Youth Workers 45
The Youth Worker’s Role 46
Chapter 3: The Adolescent Girl’s Body—Body Issues 49
Body Image 51
Extreme Exercise 58
Obesity 58
Eating Disorders 60
Recovery and Treatment for Eating Disorders 70
The Youth Worker’s Role 70
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Chapter 4: Altered State: Adolescent Girls and Self-Injury 73
Self-Injury 75
The Youth Worker’s Role 78
Chapter 5: Dating Matters 81
A Little Dating History 83
Stages of Dating: Early Adolescence 83
Stages of Dating: Middle Adolescence 85
Emerging Patterns and Issues 88
The Youth Worker’s Role 93
Chapter 6: Sex Matters 97
Girls’ Sexual Activity—by the Numbers 98
Oral Sex: The New Game in Town 100
Incest and Sexual Abuse 102
Pregnancy and Abortion 104
Sexually Transmitted Diseases 108
Same-Sex Attraction 113
Chapter 7: Emotional Matters 121
The Turmoil of the Adolescent Girl’s Emotions 123
Stress and Anxiety 127
Depression 131
Suicide 137
The Youth Worker’s Role 140
Chapter 8: Brain Matters: Cognitive and Educational Issues 143
Gender Differences 148
A Girl’s Mental Development: Issues 150
The Youth Worker’s Role 159
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Chapter 9: Family Matters 161
When Puberty Hits… 162
The Role of Mothers 165
The Role of Fathers 168
The Impact of Divorce 171
Siblings 175
Immigrant Family Issues 178
The Youth Worker’s Role 182
Chapter 10: Friendship Matters 183
How Friendships Change from Childhood to Adolescence 185
How Girls’ Friendships Differ from Boys’ Friendships 189
Girls and Relational Aggression 191
Girls and Violence 195
The Youth Worker’s Role 196
Chapter 11: Faith Matters 199
Pre-Adolescent Faith 201
Early Adolescent Faith 202
Middle Adolescent Faith 205
Alternative Spirituality 206
The Youth Worker’s Role 209
Notes 211
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INTRODUCTION
NO TOURISTS NEED APPLY
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TEENAGEGIRLS
Anthony, the youth pastor, stood chatting with a
couple of middle school students after church when
Kayla slipped by on the other side of the hall. Anthony
stopped in mid-sentence and called out, “Hey Kayla,
when’s your next game?”
The tall, lithe seventh-grader looked at him in sur-
prise. She almost never came to youth group except
when she was dragged by her parents. She didn’t even
know the youth pastor knew her name, much less that
she played basketball.
“Wednesday,” she stammered. “Three thirty. It’s
a home game.” Anthony nodded and went back to
the conversation with the rest of the students. Kay-
la walked away puzzled and skeptical. No one ever
came to the games except a sprinkling of parents and
teachers.
But Wednesday afternoon arrived, and Anthony
and a female small group leader were planted on the
hardwood bleachers, cheering Kayla on. At the begin-
ning of the game, Kayla glanced back from the bench
and shyly smiled at the new visitors. Gradually, her
mild bewilderment at their presence gave way to a
confi dent grin of appreciation.
That game was a turning point for Kayla. After
that she never missed a youth group gathering. Not
only was she a committed regular, she brought her
friends, too. One night there were about 90 students
at youth group, and Anthony was trying to divide
them into three teams for a game. He then realized
that more than a third of the students were Kayla’s
friends. He ended up having to beg a few to go to the
other teams.
What seemed to be a simple, solitary act—cheer-
ing on a student at a game—was in reality a very pow-
erful example of the ministry of presence. What Kayla
needed was someone to show up for her, to take an
interest in entering her world. Anthony was willing to
take up the challenge, and Kayla responded.
8
8
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