Stage Fright: 40 Stars Tell You How They Beat America's #1 Fear

259 Pages·2009·0.82 MB·English

by  Mick Berry and Michael R. Edelstein

S F
TAGE RIGHT
40 S T Y
TARS ELL OU
H T B
OW HEY EAT
A ’ #1
MERICA S
F
EAR
M B ,
ICK ERRY MFA
M R. E ,
ICHAEL DELSTEIN PHD
SEE SHARPPRESS • TUCSON, ARIZONA
Copyright © 2009 by Mick Berry and Michael R. Edelstein. All rights reserved.
For information contact:
See Sharp Press
P.O. Box 1731
Tucson, AZ 85702-1731
www.seesharppress.com
Berry, Mick.
Stage fright / by Mick Berry, MFA, and Michael R. Edelstein, Ph.D. ; introduction by Nando Pelusi,
Ph.D. -- Tucson, Ariz. : See Sharp Press, 2009.
250 p. ; 23 cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN: 9781884365461
Contents: Introduction -- Preface -- 1. How you can beat stage fright. 2. Carlos Alazraqui --
3. Jason Alexander -- 4. Mose Allison -- 5. Maya Angelou -- 6. Lawrence P. Beron -- 7. Mark Bittner --
8. Walter Block -- 9. Jim Bouton -- 10. David Brenner -- 11. Larry “Bubbles” Brown --
12. David Burns -- 13. Tony Castle -- 14. Peter Coyote -- 15. Phyllis Diller -- 16. Olympia Dukakis --
17. Will Durst -- 18. Albert Ellis -- 19. Melissa Etheridge -- 20. Tony Freeman -- 21. Dave Goelz --
22. Bonnie Hayes -- 23. Dan Hicks -- 24. Mickey Joseph -- 25. Kevin Kataoka -- 26. Jerome Kelly --
27. Richard Lewis -- 28. Paul Lyons -- 29. Maria Mason -- 30. Meehan Brothers -- 31. Larry Miller --
32. David A. Moss -- 33. Frank Oz -- 34. Ron Paul -- 35. Mark Pitta -- 36. Simon Phillips --
37. Kevin Rooney -- 38. Bob Sarlatte -- 39. Mark Schiff -- 40. Ben Sidran -- 41. Robin Williams.
Summary: Stage Fright is a collection of interviews with 40 prominent public figures, including famous
actors, comedians, musicians, and a former presidential candidate. It includes a lengthy chapter which
describes several proven-effective Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (the original form of cognitive-
behavioral therapy) self-help techniques useful in overcoming stage fright.
1. Stage fright. 2. Performance -- Psychological aspects. 3. Public
speaking. I. Title. II. Edelstein, Michael R.
158.27
Contents
Introduction (Nando Pelusi, PhD) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Preface . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
About the Authors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
How You Can Beat Stage Fright . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
INTERVIEWS
Carlos Alazraqui . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Jason Alexander . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Mose Allison . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Maya Angelou . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Lawrence P. Beron . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Mark Bittner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Walter Block . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Jim Bouton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
David Brenner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Larry “Bubbles” Brown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70
David Burns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Tony Castle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
Peter Coyote . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Phyllis Diller . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
Olympia Dukakis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Will Durst . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Albert Ellis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
Melissa Etheridge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
Tony Freeman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Dave Goelz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
Bonnie Hayes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
Dan Hicks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
JeROME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140
Mickey Joseph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
Kevin Kataoka . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155
Richard Lewis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160
Paul Lyons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
Maria Mason . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168
Meehan Brothers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Larry Miller . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
David A. Moss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
Frank Oz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
Ron Paul . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202
Simon Phillips . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206
Mark Pitta . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210
Kevin Rooney . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 216
Bob Sarlatte . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 223
Mark Schiff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230
Ben Sidran . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237
Robin Williams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 243
Bibliography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250
For the countless potential stars who
experience frustration and failure
along the way, yet persist in
following their passion
The co-authors of this book are available to conduct
“Beat Stage Fright” workshops and seminars.
For more information, go to
www.howtobeatstagefright.com
or write to
[email protected]
Introduction
About a decade ago, the co-author of this book, Michael Edelstein, and
I were giving a presentation to the National Association of Cognitive
Behavior Therapists, of which we’re both on the Board of Advisors. And,
wouldn’t you know it, my co-presenter interrupted and corrected me. Sure,
I balked a little, but I knew I’d better listen, as he is a master. He didn’t let
the point go—he was more concerned with the truth than my possibly
bruised feelings. So we debated, and eventually I conceded his point, very
publicly.
It’s a good thing that our discussion was about how not to disturb one-
self. I got a lesson on practicing self-mastery in public by the co-author of
this very book on practicing self-mastery. Boy, is he good.
Dr. Edelstein and Mick Berry have synthesized in the most elegant and
simple way the principles used by many popular performers to overcome
their own stage fright. Taking the tenets of Rational Emotive Behavior
Therapy, a powerful and focused type of cognitive-behavioral therapy de-
veloped by Dr. Albert Ellis, they present step-by-step exercises designed to
help anyone overcome stage fright.
They interview many incredible performers in this book, including
Phyllis Diller, Melissa Etheridge, Robin Williams, Maya Angelou, Olympia
Dukakis, Frank Oz (“Miss Piggy” of the Muppets), Richard Lewis, David
Brenner, and Jason Alexander (George Costanza from “Seinfeld”). These
performers present their own techniques for overcoming stage fright, and
many of their techniques are similar to those outlined in more detail by the
co-authors of this book in the first chapter.
In my many years of practice, I’ve come to respect the subtlety and
power of many of these methods, and how they work to change lives for the
better. My practice and thinking on these matters show me endless variation
in human desires, but definite patterns in disturbances such as fear of public
speaking, social phobia, and stage fright. Our tendency to take preferences
2•INTRODUCTION
for public approval and escalate them into demands is at the root of stage
fright, and Edelstein and Berry clearly identify the three main ways in which
to overcome it.
First, they’ll have you identify and dispute your demands on yourself
and your performance. That sounds daunting, but it’s like removing a tarp
on a baseball field: it reveals many possibilities. Second, they’ll have you
assess your implicit and explicit demands on others, and the ways these
demands can lead to anger and resentments. Addressing these demands will
do wonders for your relationships with others, and will make ensemble per-
forming easier. Third, they’ll have you explore the demands that you may
unconsciously be placing on performance conditions — and how quickly
you can find excuses to quit or to not even try.
Dr. Michael Edelstein is often my go-to guy for the finer points of the-
ory and practice. He knows his stuff inside and out—and that’s reflected
here in a clarity and focus rarely found in self-help books. If Michael
Edelstein agrees or disagrees with me, I listen. His co-author, Mick Berry, is
an energetic, witty, and insightful entertainer who has mastered the methods
described here, and is a great complement to Dr. Edelstein. Their collabora-
tion has really borne fruit.
This book will help you get better, not just feel better. In my years of
practice, writing on and reading literature on human change, I can say that
the most effective methods of overcoming stage fright are distilled in this
very readable book by two skilled and dedicated change-agents.
I can promise that you’ll have fun getting better, too. Study this gem and
gain mastery over yourself. Then, go out, take the stage, and gain mastery
over your audience!
—Nando Pelusi, PhD, Contributing Editor, Psychology Today
Preface
When we began working on this book, we reasoned that most people
suffering from stage fright would not buy it simply because of its title and
the insights it offers. We aren’t household names (yet). So, we decided to ask
celebrities about their struggles with stage fright—what works for them and
what doesn’t. This approach succeeded beyond our hopes. Readers will be
touched by the intimate struggles and triumphs of the stars they love and, as
a wonderful bonus, will see validation of our recommendations on dealing
with stage fright.
You’ll find the essence of our approach to this very common problem
detailed in the first chapter. It presents proven anti-anxiety strategies from
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), developed by pioneering psy-
chologist Albert Ellis. (As a bonus, Dr. Ellis passionately spells out his con-
cepts and strategies in our interview with him.) These strategies will allow
you—through persistence and hard work—to greatly diminish or perhaps
entirely overcome your stage fright.
Contrary to common sense, an illustrious career, celebrity status, great
wealth, or other success as a performer will not cure your stage fright.
Phyllis Diller told us: “I know of entertainers, in long, long careers, who
never got over it, to the point of throwing up before every performance. . . .
And they were big, big stars.” (p. 96–97)
Entertainers of all stripes overcome stage fright by changing how they
think: a change in thinking causes a change in feeling and behavior. As
Robin Williams incisively notes: “Obviously, thinking is what creates the
anxiety. And also, thinking diminishes it.” (p. 246)
Even though many of those interviewed here appear to not fully appre-
ciate this fact, they all, commendably, have devised their own strategies for
dealing with stage fright. Some of these parallel one of our recommenda-
tions—using rational self-statements to put stage fright into perspective. We
heard, over and over, the interviewees say that a bad performance is “not the