Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction: A Physician's Journey of Discovery, A

2020·1.3 MB·English

by  Meadows, Linville M.

A Spiritual Pathway to
Recovery from Addiction
A Physician’s Journey of Discovery
The characters in this book are not real individuals, rather they are
composites. The incidents and conversations are recreated from memory,
supplemented with the author’s experience and that of countless others.
Permission is granted to quote from this work for the purpose of
reviews and discussions. Permission to quote from the Big Book of
Alcoholics Anonymous provided by AA World Services, Inc. Permission
to quote from the works of Dylan Thomas provided by David Higham
Associates, London.
A Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction
A Physician’s Journey of Discovery
© 2020 Linville M. Meadows. All rights reserved.
Published by The Meadows Farm, Inc.
Cover photographs by the Author.
ISBN Print edition 978-1-7350258-0-3.
ISBN eBook edition 978-1-7350258-1-0
Visit the author’s website at
https://www.spiritualpathwaytorecovery.com/
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

A Spiritual Pathway to
Recovery

from

Addiction
A Physician’s Journey of
Discovery
Linville M. Meadows, M.D.

Table of Contents
Getting There 9
Where to Begin? 17
Addiction is a Disease 36
Alcoholic Insanity 71
Addictive Character Traits 80
Begin with Baby Steps 101
Practical Ideas 117
Moral Inventory 126
Prayer and Meditation 144
Higher Power 155
A New Way of Thinking 168
I Can Control My Thoughts 181
Living by Spiritual Principles 203
A New Way of Living 216
The Fine Points 243
Annotated Bibliography 251

CHAPTER ONE
Getting There
“The journey of a thousand miles
must begin with a single step.”
—Lao Tzu
I was sick, scared, and lost
I stood alone in the Atlanta airport, arms full of baggage, looking for the
someone who was supposed to meet me, when suddenly I dropped the bags,
collapsed into an empty seat, and began to cry. I never felt more alone, more
vulnerable, nor more frightened. It seemed that everything I had worked for
my entire adult life was being swept away. There was no one or no thing I
could turn to for help.
It seemed impossible that only five days before, my nurses had intervened
on me. My alcohol and drug use had gotten completely out of control and it was
obvious that I was impaired. I was sure the Medical Board would show up, arrest
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A Spiritual Pathway to Recovery from Addiction
me, and take away my medical license. Instead they sent me to detox. How-
ever, they issued a stern warning: failure to complete an approved rehabilita-
tion course at a center approved for physicians would result in the permanent
loss of my medical license. Complete the course, usually some three or four
months, and I would be welcomed back into the medical fold with open arms.
I was at the absolute low point of my life. I had no idea what had
happened to me, how a drink with dinner had become two bottles of wine
every night, or how an occasional party drug had become an addiction
I couldn’t control. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t quit. My life
was a drunken drugged-out downward spiral. I was dying and I knew
it. Some days I wanted desperately to quit. Other days I just didn’t care.
Almost imperceptibly, a man about my age filled the seat beside me,
caught my attention, and began to speak.
“You must be Dr. Linville Meadows,” he said kindly. “What do your
friends call you?”
“Lin. People only call me Linville if they’re mad at me.”
He put his hand out. “Name’s Mike. I’m your ride to rehab. C’mon. And I
promise not to call you Linville, okay?” Mike was slightly balding and stocky; his hand-
shake was strong, and his smile was genuine. He had a good bedside manner.
“Deal. What did you say your name was?” I asked, blowing my nose.
“Mike. From New Jersey. Obstetrician. Drug of choice: more.”
“More?”
“More of whatever you got,” he said. I managed a small laugh. He
didn’t look like a drug addict and I couldn’t believe he was actually telling
me about his addiction. There was no one back home who I could talk to
about my own problems. In fact, my days were spent terrified that someone
would discover my drug use, and yet, here he was, speaking openly about his.
In a few minutes we were in his little green convertible with the top
down, wheeling out of the airport. The fresh breeze felt good on my face.
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