Sorry About That: The Language of Public Apology

233 Pages·2014·0.76 MB·English

by  Edwin L. Battistella

Sorry About That

Sorry About That
The Language of Public
Apology
Edwin L. BATTiSTELLA
1
1
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Battistella, Edwin L., author.
Sorry about that : the language of public apology / Edwin L. Battistella.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978–0–19–930091–4 (hardcover : alk. paper) 1. Linguistic analysis (Linguistics)
2. Apologizing. I. Title.
P126.B37 2014
158.2—dc23
2013033233
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in the United States of America
on acid-free paper
Contents
Foreword vii
Introduction ix
1. The Scope of Apologies 1
2. How Apologies Succeed and Fail 17
3. How We Literally Apologize 35
4. Sorry, Regrets, and More 56
5. True Confessions 76
6. Verbal Self-defense 94
7. National Apologies 113
8. International Apologies 135
9. Why We Apologize, or Don’t 152
10. Apology in American Culture  172
A Reader’s Guide to Analyzing Apologies 186
References 191
Bibliography 209
Index 211

Foreword
my interest in apologies began years ago, when a friend asked me to help
him write an apology letter for a direct mail piece he had sent out. “You must
have to write a lot of apologies,” he joked, “Maybe you can help me.”
More recently, my attention was focused on apologies by politicians and
public figures, and a number of them (I won’t say who) are to thank for moti-
vating me to write this book. As I experienced their apologies vicariously in
the media, I became increasingly frustrated by language being used to evade
responsibility and at our willingness as consumers of language to let that hap-
pen.
As it often does, frustration led to renewed curiosity, analysis, and research,
and I quickly found myself immersed in an inter- and multidisciplinary explo-
ration of sociology, linguistics and pragmatics, philosophy and psychology,
rhetoric, legal studies, and history.
My training in linguistics has informed this book not just analytically
but in terms of the approach. After a couple of Goldilocks-like false starts,
I found that the most useful approach was descriptive and textual. Rather
than describing an ideal apology and matching actual examples to that fic-
tion, I describe what apologies try to do, how they succeed or fail, and how
they blend with other language uses such as excuses or insults. So this book is
example based as well as language based.
Most of the examples in this book are new. Some more-or-less classic exam-
ples of public apologies appear here that have been discussed elsewhere in the
literature—they were too good or too important to omit. I hope my discus-
sion has added new value to their understanding.
I have a number of people to thank as well—Hallie Stebbins, Brian Hur-
ley, and Peter Ohlin of Oxford University Press for helping me to shape this
in a readable way, and Jennifer Margulis for a close reading of an early pro-
posal. A number of colleagues also contributed ideas, examples, feedback, and
viii Foreword
kibitzing—Mary Cullinan, Maureen Flanagan, Josie Wilson, Geoff Mills, Jon
Lange, and Diana Maltz. Jennifer Marcellus helped prepare the index and ver-
ify many references. She also read the entire manuscript and made numerous
stylistic and content suggestions. Southern Oregon University did its share as
well with a President’s Scholarship and Creativity grant and a timely sabbati-
cal (is there any other kind?).
Thanks too to the scholars on whose work I have drawn—Nicholas Tavu-
chis, Nick Smith, Aaron Lazare, Deborah Tannen, David Tell, Janet Holmes,
Brian Weiner, Robin Tolmach Lakoff, Erving Goffman, William Benoit,
Keith Hearit, Timothy Maga, Jennifer Lind, J. L. Austin, John Searle, Jenny
Thomas, and H. Paul Grice.
Ashland, Oregon
May 2013
introduction
in 2003, publisher Doubleday released a gripping book on addiction and
recovery. Writer James Frey’s A Million Little Pieces purported to be a memoir
of his treatment for alcohol and drug addiction and his grueling recovery. The
book was widely praised, and Frey followed up in 2005 with another book
on the father-son relationship between himself and Leonard, a mobster he
met in rehab. My Friend Leonard also became a bestseller. Then something
happened.
In January of 2006, The Smoking Gun website published documentation
suggesting that key parts of Frey’s memoir were made up. Frey had exagger-
ated his criminal offenses and details of his tribulations: his tale of a violent
arrest and eighty-seven-day jail sentence, for example, turned out to be a quiet
arrest and short stay at a police station. His account of having root canal sur-
gery without anesthetic was disputed. The existence of his suicidal girlfriend
Lily was called into question. Frey conceded that he had “altered small details”
for dramatic effect.
Oprah Winfrey, who had selected A Million Little Pieces for her book club
in 2005, was particularly angry at Frey’s deception. The Smoking Gun piece
had appeared under the title “The Man Who Conned Oprah.” Winfrey had
initially defended Frey, even going so far as to call in to the Larry King Live
program to stress that small inaccuracies were “irrelevant” to its larger mes-
sage. Yet as the facts became clearer and the inaccuracies bigger, she felt she
could no longer stand by Frey and his book.
Winfrey invited Frey onto her January 26, 2005, show. She began the pro-
gram by apologizing to viewers for her telephone call to Larry King Live. “I
regret that phone call,” she said, “I made a mistake and I left the impression
that the truth does not matter and I am deeply sorry about that. That is not
what I believe.” Winfrey then turned to Frey and scolded him for betraying his
readers and for betraying her. Then she led him through his lies, one by one.