Slash

245 Pages·2007·13.87 MB·English

by  Slash

.,
I.rC. 9- 3' %. a. I.. . ,--7'. -t- . 'I
' .7
To my loving family, for all their support through the good
times and the bad
And to Guns N' Roses fans everywhere, old and new; wih-
out their undying loydiy and limitless patience, none of
this would matter
FA'
S T O K E D D O N ' T TRY T H I S ' . A T . H O M E ....
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' L E A S T L I K E L Y 1'0 S U C C E E D ' . .
,
r I F ' M E M 0 e . Y S E R V
t fek like a baseboll bat to my chest, but one swung from the inside,
Ckar blue spots lit up the aoiaerr of my vision. It was abnrpt, bbodless,
silent violence, Nothing was visibly b m hn othing had chaqed to the
naked eye, but the pain made my mrld stand still I kept playing; I finished
the mng. 'The audience didn't know that my heart had done a somersault
just besort the sob. My body bad d e l i di ts karmic tetribution; remind-
ing me, onstas of how many times I'd incentionally served it up a similar
boP-de-bo~
lhejolt quickly became a dull ache that almost f& good. In any case, I
f& more aliw than I had a morn- besort, because I war more alive. 'The
machine in my heart lnd reminded me ofjust how precious this Mi is, Its
timing was impeccablet with a hll house in front of me, while I played my
guitarI I pt the message loud and clear. I pt it a fkw times that mght. And
I got it every time I mso nstage hr the mt of that touq though I never
knew wben it was comirrg.
A doctor installed an implantablecardiovert~de6brilhtmin my heart
when I was thirty-h. It's a thm~incb-bqba ttery-powered pnerator
that was k a e dt hiough an incision in my armpit. It constardy &om
my heart rate, delivering electirwhoclce whenever my heart beats too
durgeiously fist or slow. Fifteen years of overdrinking and diug abuse
bad swollen that organ to one beat short of exploding. When I was hally
hospitalized, I war told I had six weeks to live. Itk been six years since
thenand this piece of machkry has s a dm y Mi more than a few times.
I've enjoyed a convenient side &ct that the doctor did not intend: when
my indulgwces have caused my heart to beat too dangerously sbw, my
oa
defibrillator has popped keeping death &om my door hr one more
day. It also shocks my heart into submission when it beatr fast enough to
court c d k ca mst.
Itk a p dth ing Igot it djusted besort the &st VekR m,hrer tour. I
did that one sober hr the most part; sober emugh that the excitem- of
playing with a bad I belied in to fins who belied in us m o dm e to
myam.Ilndn'tbeenthatinspiredinyeaiaIrandoverthes~e;I~
in our collective energy My heart raced with exciaement hard enough to
riiggtr the machine inside me onstage every night. It wasn't pleasant but I
began to d o m et baaenminders. I saw them fk what theymere. Stranp
mornents d a k e dc hriq mornents out of time that encapsulated alifie's
woah of hard-won wisdom.
Iy o born on Jdy 23,1965, h StokGomTrert Eng- the tavn whed
-ue.
' leh'ny Kllmlster of Matdrhead was born twenty y- before me. It ycb
. ~ y e a r l ~ d r a n d l o ~ n w e ~ Y ; & ~ ~ r t h a n ~ n m ~ f t l
tkp&
".pc#ts; the year a few lsobted c h dpo p musk &weidT lS
s.
4
: ~ ~ h r e l e Q S B d R L l ~ ~ S W l ~ y ~ ~ r ~ t h e S t o n e s ~ M l l l l g
-.
* .
* *- me9 NO. 2: the best of the~cr oljectlons d ~uecso wrs:'ihem was a
c k kre vohJtlondootihdh as never beene&heda nd lsmp roud lo
Paris. My mom ru pmco&~a d decant, young and bea&I; she'd
' be a by-producto f
le& Locr An& to see the world ad make connections in fashion, Wben
My mom Is an Afrloan Amerloan and my dad Is 'Engllsh b "4-wF I t6)
their joumeyts intemected they fdl in love, then pt married in England.
They met In Puls In the s k t h f el In bve. and had me. Thel.r b$ ? And then I came along and they rret about creating their l& togethes
I & r ~ ~ khtle rcorrtlnentd comrnunlon wanV the norm; and:
My momb career as a corrtume designer started around 1966, and ooer
, wet het boundlesscrealivlty. lt hank them for belng who th&i&$h
the omme of it, her clients induded flip Who- Rinp Starr, and John
exposed me to erulromhs o rkha nd cobrful and udqk - .
Lennon. She also worked b r the Pointer Sistem, Helen Reddy Linda
Ie xperienced even wNlevery young made a perrnane- rrt.--h. p.p r.d. no- .n. R o d 4a d James Taybr. Sylvester sms one of her client4 mo. He is no
me.~yparenta~measaneqwlas~nalco&stClrM:.d~
6 b n-w w ith us, but he wu, once adkoartist who wu, like thegay Sly h e .
.* they lought me, on the fly, how to deal wlth whdwer mme wqi In
\ Heh ad agreat voice and hewas asuperpod person in my eyes; he gave me
" theonlyiype dllfet'veever knarun. \ 1 . a blackand-white rat that I named Mickey Mickey wu, a badasa Hen ever
flinched wbn I fed a mt o my snakes. He survived a f db m m y bedroom
window &er he wu, roerred out by my youqer brothel; and wu, no worse
fix the wear when he showed up at our backdoor three days ]at- Mickey
also survived the accidental removal of a d o no f his tail when the inner
chvreis of our wfi bed cut it ofE as well as cbrre to a year without hod or
=
water. We kfi him behind by mistllre in an aparanm that used as
S T O K E D
mxap space, and when we popped in to pick up some boxes, with a a r kbl ackAm&an.I w d e rw hat be said when Tony told him
Mickey came up to me conpdlya s if I'd been gone only a day, as if to that he intended to be married and raise their newborn child under their
my, *Hey!W herey ou beenf roof until he and my mom pt their in order. All things anridered,
MIckqr was one of my more memorable pets. 'Ihere ha- been mury, I'm touched by bow much diplomacy was displayed by the paesi nvolved.
from my mountain lios Cux& to the hundreds of sxnkes I've mid. Bat&
cdyI am a &taught zookeeper and I definitely relace to the animak I've
lned wkh better than to most of the humans I'm bwn.' Thow animals MY DAD TOOK ME TO LONDON AS SOON
and I hare a point of view that most peopk & e t at the end of theday I& u, I could handle the train ride. I was maybe two or three, but ins&
is about wrvid Once that lemon is hmed, earning the txust of an animal tidy I knew how far away it was from Stoke's unending miks of brown
that might eat you in the wild is a defining and d i n gex perienae. brick row bouses and quaint families because my dad was inco a bit of a
bohemian scene. We*dc nhon couches and notcome back& days. 'There
were Lava lamps and blacklights, and the electric excitement ofthe open
booths and artists along P d e l bR oad. My dad never considered him-
S O O N AFTER I WAS BORN. MY MOTHER
returned to L.A. to expand her business and to hy the 6nancial fiwndation selfa Beat, but he had abbedt hat kindofI&qk through oemosis. It
our family was built upon. My dad raid me in En&d at his paws', was as if he had handpicked the highlights of that type of & a bve of
Charles and Sybil Hudson's, home & tinu years-and it wam't m yo n adveaute, hitting the road with nothing but the clothes on yaw back,
him. I was a pttyi ntuitive kid, but I could not dkem the depth of the finding heker in apartmas fullofintem&ngpeople. My pawst aught
tension there. My dad and his dad, Charks, from wkat I understand, had me a lot, but I k a r d t heir greatest lesson early-nothing elec is quite
h than the best felatbdip Tony was the middk of t h es ons, ad he likI&ontheioad.
was every bit the middle child upstart. H iy ouqer brother, Ian, and his I remember the pod things about +land I was the center of my
older k h - David, were much more in step with the imily's values. My grandpas*a ttention. I went to school. I was in plays: The Trudue Day
dad went to art school; he was everything his kher wasn't. Tony wuu the dChristmar; I was the E di n The Litde Drummer Boy I drew all the time.
&ties; and he stood up Sbi his beliefs as wbolehearaedly as his father corn- And once a dI wa tched Zk Avmgerr and %e %wrdcrbirds. Thision
in latesixties +land war extremely limited and teflected the poet-World
demned them. Mygmndfather Charles was a &manf rom Stok a com-
munitythatbadrromehow~thmaghbiscayunchan&Moet~ War 11, Chichillv iew of the world of my grandpas' generuion. 'There
of Stoke never leave; mury, lik my grandparents, had never v e n dt he were only t kc h dba ck tkn, and yide from the tmm haws a week
hndred or rro miks south to London. Ton$ unyielding vision of attending that any of them played thoae tmm program all three played only the news.
art school and making a hing through painting was something Charles Itb no wonder that my paws' gweration threw themaelves headfirst into
could not stomach. 'Tkis chho f opinion heled constant argumas ad the cukuralahili that was afbot.
ofoen kd to vioke xchanges; Ton+y. c hims that Charles beat him A s s Once Tony and Ipined O hi n Loe Angeltr, k never spoke to his pm
on a regular bash for most of his ene again, 'Ihey disappeared from my lifequickly and I o hk e dtb em
My grand&ther was as consummately reprwdveo f 1950s Brhin growing up My mother encoufigtd my fither to sayi n wchb ut it made
as his rron was of the &ties. Charles w a dto see everything in its right n, di&ence; he had n, interest. I didn't see my Englieh datives again
place whik Tony wanted to iwr~pan d repaint it all. I imagine that my until Guns N' Roaer became dl knowa Wben we phed Wembky Sta-
grandfather was properly appalkd when his son returned &om Paris in bve dium in 199% the Hudson clan came out in fmet backstage befbre the
STOKED
&ow I witnessed one of my under, my courin, and mygrandfvbes on his A F T E R A Y E A R O R T W O I N L A U R E L C A N Y O N
very k trip to London &om Stoke, down every drop of liquor in our we moved south to an qaranent on Doheny, I changed schools, and that
d d gmo m. Consumed in full, our boo= rider in thoae days wwld l n ~ is when I d k o d j u s th ow d i @ d yt he a - kid l i dI never had a
kikd anyone but us. traditionalakid" room lid &toys andprimvy colors. Our homes werenever
painted in common neutral tones. The essena of pot and incense usuaUy
hung in the air, 'Ihe vibe was always bright, but the color scheme was always
M Y F I R S T M E M O R Y O F L O S A N G E L E S I S dark. It was Cine with me, because I was never concerned with a o d n g
the Doors' "Lighc My F Sbl asting from my parents' turntable, every day with kids my ;~geI, preferred the aompany of adults because my parentsB
dl day bng. In the late aixties and early smemk LA. wrs the place to be, friends are stdl some of the most aolorful characters rwe ver known.
especially fbr young Brits involved in the atts or music: there was ampk I listened to the radio 24/7, usually KHJo n the AM dial I slept with
c&~kaom~tothertill.etodp;ysyrcpmin~hndandtheder it on. I did my schoolwork and got good grades, although my teacher said
was mthing but paradise compared to Londonb rain and kg. Besides, I had a short attention span and daydreamed all the time. ?he truth is, my
dereaing %had fbr Yankee &s wrs the best way to flip off the syraem passion was arc I loved the French hstimpressionist painter Henri Row
and your upbriqing-nd my dad was more than happy to do so. seau and, Like him, I drew jungle scenes f do f my favorite aimah, My
My mother c o d e dh er work as a fdiond esigrm while my father obession with snakes started very arlp The tirst time my mother took me
parlayed his natural artistic talent irwographic design, My mom had con- to Big SUL;C dihrnia, to visit a friend and camp up there, I was six yevs
nections in the music industry so her hurbpnd was soon &- abum old and I spent hours in the woods catching snakes. I'd dig under every
c o nW e lived offlaud Canyon Boukvard in averyriaies communky bush and tree until I'd filled an unused aquarium ?hen I'd let them go,
up at the top of Lookout Mountain Road. That area of Los An+ has That wasn't the only Qciaement I erperienced on that outing: my mom
always been a creative ham because of the bohemian nature of the land- and her fCiend were similarly wild, carefree young women, who enjoyed
scape. 'The houses are set +hti nto the mourninside among lush foliage. ncing my momis Vollcswagen Bug along the twishing U d ero ads. I
They are bungabws with gutethoueer, and any odd number of structures rememberspaedmng dong in the passenger seat scared sdfE looking out my
that allowfor wry organic, annmunalliviq. There was awry cozy enclave window at the rocks and ocean that lay below, just inches past my door.
of a k sa nd musicians living up there when I was young: Joni Mitchell
lived a fitw houses down from us. Jim Morrison liwd behind the Canyon
Store at that time, as did a young Glen Frey, who was just putting wether
the Hagka It was the kind of atmosphere where everyone wrs conned:
my mom designed Jonib clothes while my dad de+d her album covers.
David G&n was a c hfii end of our+ too, and I amember him well He
+d Gum N' Roees yaml ateq though when he did he didn't know who
I was-and I didn't tell him. He calkd Oha t Christmas in 1987 and asked
her bow I was doing. %u should know bow he's doing," she said, "you just
put hisbandb i#:dout ."
MY PARENTS' RECORD COLLECTION WAS
flawless. 'Ihey Listened to everythingf rom Beethoven to Led Zeppelin and
I continued to find undiscovered gems in their library well into my beens. I
knew every artist of the day because my parents took me to concerts con-
stantly, and since my mom took me to work with her okna s well. At avery
early 9 I was exposed to the inner workings of entertainment: I saw the
inside of many recording studios and ehearsal spaces, as well as TVa nd
film sets. I saw many ofoni Mitchell's recording and rehearsal sessions; I
also saw Flip Wilson (acomic who was huge thenbut whom time has &got-
ten) temrd his TV show. I saw Australii pop singer Helen Reddy ehearse
and pehrm, and was thee when Linda Ronstadt played the Troubador.
Mom abo took me along when she outfitted Bill Cosby for his stand-up gigs
and made his wih a few one-offpieces; I emember going with her to see the
Pointer Sisters. All of that was M rt he course of her career, but when we
l i da t hataparementon Doheny, her business was really taking06 Carly
Simon came over to the house!, soul singer Minne Ripperton as well. I met
Stevie Wonder and Diana Rosa My Enom tells me that I met John Lennon, M Y BROTHER. A L B I O N . WAS BORN I N
too, but unbrtunately I don't emember that at all. I do emember ~ i n g December l972. That changed the dynamic of my idya b it; suddenly
Ringo Starr: my mom designed the very Pdint-Funkadelicoutfit that there was a new personaliy among us. It was cool to haw a little brother,
Ringo woe on the cover of his 1974 album, Goodmight VimaI t was high- and I was glad to be one of his carnalreis: I loved it when my parents m l d
waisted and metallic gray with a white star in the middle of the chest. askme to bokafter him.
Every bachtaF or sound- scene that I saw with my mother worked But it wasn't too bq after that that I began to notice a greater change
some kind of strange magic on me. I had no idea what was going on, but I in our family. My parents wren't the same when they were together and
was hcinated by the machinationsofpehrmance back thenand I stillam too often they were apart Things scartd to get bad I think once we m o d
now. A stage full ofinstruments awaitingaband is exciting to me. ?he sight into the apaltmerv cm Doheny Driw and my mom's business began ao really
ofaguitar stillturns me on. Thee is an unstated wonder in bothof them: sucaeed Our address was 710 North Doheny, by the way, which is now a
they hold the ability to transcend reality given the right set of players. vacant bt where Christmas tiees are sold in December. I should also men-
tion that our next-& neighbor in that building was the original, self- other and rocialized in the same circle of friends. When they split up, my
prochimed Black Elvis, who can be booked & parties in Lu, Vegakif kleb rother wasjusc two years old, so& obvious reasons they agreed that
anyoneb interested. he shodb e in his motherb care, but left me the option of living wkh &her
Now that I'm older I can see some of the obvious hues that aae away one of them ro I chow to live wkh my mothet 0la suppedu s u, best as
at my parents' relatiomhip My fither mver liked bow ckwe my mother shecould, travelingconsmntIyto w h mhe r work took her. Cht of neces-
to her mother. It bruised his pride when his mother-in-hw helped ur, ham sity, my brother and I wm-e shuffled between my mod house and my
and hewas never hd of her involvement in the funily. His drinking grandmotherb home. My pnts'hwe had always been busy, interesting
didn't help thinp my dad used to like to drink-a bt. He was a stem and unconventionaLbut it had always been stable. Once their bond was
typically bad dr& he was never vioEn2 because my dad is much too b r o ht hough c~~ tramition became the nonn & me.
smart and aomplicd to ever express himeelfthmugb brute violence, but 'Iheseparvionwasveryhadonmy&therad Ididn'tseehim&qute
he had a bad temper under theinhence. When he was drunk, he'd act out awhile.Itwashardonallofuy t~ybecamerealitytomeonceIsaw
by makiq impproprmte aomments at the expense of t h ein hk presence, my mother in the company of another man, That man war David Bowie.
Needltu to say, he burned many bridges that way.
1-~+,kIIldha~lonawnthatdingwas+~
Myp-smvertde?ehotherwithvychingk~peet,kinthe I N 1 9 7 5 . MY M O T H E R ST ART ED W O R K I N G
rnonchs be&e they split up, they annpletely awided each 0th- My mom cbe+with David Bowiewhik hewas reamlingSsahn to Stah;she had
was out most +s ad my dad s p tt bwe +ar in the lcicchtq somber been designing clothes for him since Young Amaiaru. So when he signed
and ;Lbne, dnnkiqr ed wine and listening to the piam compositions of Erik ontoetar inthefikn IheMan WhoIkIOtoEarthmymomwas hiredtodo
Sptie, When mymom was borne, mydadandIwcntoutonImgwrllra the costumes & the film, which shot in New Mexico. Along the way, she
He walked everywhere, in England a dI ns Angeles. In pre-Charles and Bowie embarked on a semi-inaense a&i Looking back on t now, t
Mamon L.A.-Wre the Manson clan murdered Sharon Tate and her might not haw been that big of a deal, but at the time, it was like wamching
friends-we also used to hiochhike erywhere. LA. was innocent b& an alien land in your backyard.
that; those murders +&xi the end of the utopian ideals of the sirties A hmy p-s split up my mom, my broth- ad I moved into a hare
Flower Power era. on Rangely Dri~I.t was a very cool bww the wah of the living room
My childhood memories of Tony are cinemuic; allof them &moons were sky blue and emblazoabd wkh cbuds. 'There was a piano, and my
spent looking up at him, waEq by his side. It war on one of t h ew alks mom's reand collection took up an entire wall. It was inviting ad COZY
that we ended up at Fatbuqer, w hhe d me that he and Mom were Bowie came by often, wkh hk wife, An& and their son, Zowie, in tow.
separating. I was devaatd; the only stabilit y rd known was done. I didn't The &w m-e unique it seemed entirely mtural & Bowie to bring
urkquedom, Ijua stared at my hamb-. When my mom cut me down his wifi and son to the home of his lover so that we might all hang ouc, At
to explain the hationl ater that night, she pointed out the practical bea- the time my mother practiced the same &m of tranrrcendennl medintion
elits: I'd haw two houses to liw in. I thought about that & a while, and t that David did. 'Ihey chanted befcm the shrine she maintained in the
m&senseinawaybutit~ndedlikealie;InoddedwhileshespIrebut bedroom.
I stopped listening. I aaepted David on- I got to know him because heb mait, iimny, and
My pas's eparation was aunicabk yet a d dbe cause they didn't intensely creative My experience of bim off- enriched my ex+e of
divorcle until yeair, later. 'Ihey ohen lived wkhin waEq dhnceo f each him -age, I xmx to aee him d my mom at the L.A Forum in 1975,
STOKED
-
and, as I have been so many times sine% the mom- he came out omtage,
incharacter, I capmued His entire matt m sth e essence of p&-
mance. I saw the funiliar elemems of aman I'd p e nto know exaggerated
to the extreme. He had deed rock d o mto its room: being a rocksr
is the inemdon ofwho you ate and who you mnt ao be.