Skinny Boy: A Young Man's Battle and Triumph Over Anorexia

256 Pages·2007·1.03 MB·English

by  Gary A. Grahl

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By gAry A. grAhl
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Gary A. Grahl, M.S.E., L.P.C., N.C.C.,
is a licensed school counselor in
Wisconsin. He is a resource person for
ANAD (National Association of
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with eating disorders and their families.
He has been featured on television programs like Jenny
Jones, Les Brown and Extra; and in print media such as
Men’s Health, Woman’s World, New York Newsday, Chi-
cago Sun Times, and Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel.
Gary and his wife, Jeanna, have three children.
Praise for Skinny Boy
“Skinny Boy is a compelling and honest first-person account
of a vexing human challenge––repairing one’s relationship to
oneself”
Psychology Today
“Gary Grahl is a hero and an exceptional writer. Through
Skinny Boy, Gary makes a spectacular contribution to the eat-
ing disorders field.”
Vivian Hanson Meehan, President and Founder
ANAD - National Association for Anorexia Nervosa
and Associated Disorders
“Skinny Boy effectively chronicles the inner dialogue between
the anorexic voice urging him to resist treatment and keep get-
ting thinner and his rational mind.
Leigh Cohn, M.A.T., Editor-in-Chief,
Eating Disorders: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention
“More books like this about the male experience with Anorexia
Nervosa need to be written. This book gives insight into that ex-
perience. My thanks to Gary Grahl.”
Mae S. Sokol, M.D.
Associate Professor of Psychiatry & Pediatrics
Creighton University School of Medicine
“The running internal dialogue between the author and his eat-
ing disorder provides a window into the cognitive and emotion-
al world of individuals suffering from this devastating illness.
His style of writing alone makes this book a must read for any
professional working with these individuals.”
Michelle Klinedinst, Executive Director
Rosewood Eating Disorders Center, Wickenburg, Arizona
iv
“Gary Grahl’s powerful story of transformation demonstrates
how it is possible for a person to gradually surrender eating
disorder thinking and behavior in favor of a life worth living.
Tom Shiltz, MS, CADIII
Rogers Memorial Hospital, Eating Disorders Program
v
Copyright © 2007 By Gary A. Grahl
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in any way, or by
any means, without the express written permission from the publisher. Although
the events in this book are based on actual events, not all events depicted herein
occurred in chronological order. Names of buildings, locations and private indi-
viduals have been changed.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Grahl, Gary A.
Skinny boy : a young man’s battle and triumph over
anorexia / by Gary A. Grahl.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-9761547-4-7 (softcover: alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 0-9761547-4-9
ISBN-13: 978-0-9761547-7-8 (ebook, PDF)
ISBN-10: 0-9761547-7-3
1. Grahl, Gary A.--Health. 2. Anorexia nervosa--
Patients--United States--Biography. 3. Anorexia nervosa
--Patients--United States--Rehabilitation. I. Title.
RC553.A5G73 2007
616.85’262’0092 2006931881
Questions regarding content of this books should be addressed to:
American Legacy Media, Clearfield, Utah
Visit us at www.americanlegacymedia.com
[email protected]
Printed in the United States of America
Distributed in North America by Independent Publishers Group (IPG)
(800) 888- 4741 or [phone].
1 2 3 4 5 11 10 09 08 07
vi
To Mom and Dad,
the pinnacles of patience and perseverance.
And to my wife and kids,
for their rich love and support.
vii
c
ontentS

Introduction..............................................................................x
Part One: Self Destruction
1. Sign of the Obsession.......................................................1
2. Helpless.............................................................................4
3. The Ride................................................................................6
4. And Your Name is...? .......................................................10
5. The Iron Giant ................................................................14
6. The Fifty Cent Tour ............................................................. 21
7. Chandra ............................................................................24
8. Group Therapy .................................................................29
9. Atalanta The Private Investigator.......................................34
10. O. T. ......................................................................................41
11. Scrabble ..........................................................................46
12. The Doctor is In(sane) .....................................................51
13. Send the Alternate ..........................................................56
14. The Battle of O. T., 1986 ..................................................59
15. What about Bob? .............................................................63
16. My Free Get-Out-of-Prom Card ......................................68
17. Chandra’s Discharge .......................................................73
18. My Post-Prom ..................................................................77
19. Let’s Play Hide the Tunafish––Twice ...............................80
20. D-Day...............................................................................87
21. Illusion Theories for All Occasions .................................96
22. The Letter .......................................................................104
viii
Part Two: The New YOU
23. Bacon Anyone? ................................................................109
24. And the Award For Best Actor Goes To... .............................111
25. Am I Ever Glad To Smell You ..............................................115
26. One Sharp Package? .........................................................120
27. Back So Soon? .................................................................130
28. Dr. Buckmier’s Warning ...................................................133
29. Wet Dream .......................................................................140
30. Can’t You See the “No Trespassing” Sign? ...........................146
31. The Power of YOU ............................................................149
32. An Idol Visit .....................................................................155
33. The Warning ....................................................................163
34. The Infatuation Begins .....................................................170
35. Busted .............................................................................179
36. Ariel’s Lessons: Girls 101 ..................................................184
37. The Elevator Ride to Heaven .............................................191
38. Bad News .......................................................................200
39. Musical Toast ..................................................................208
40. The Session ...................................................................214
41. Courage ..........................................................................224
42. Trash IT .........................................................................233
Epilogue................................................................................. 237
Acknowledgement .................................................................241
ix
i
ntroduction
Although the character names and places and certain details in this
book are changed for confidentiality reasons, the people and per-
sonalities are real, and the stories that unfold are based on true events.
Their impact still lives on in my life to this day. It is my goal that you will
find hope and encouragement while reading these pages, for I firmly be-
lieve, and discovered first hand, that recovery is very possible for anyone
who wages war against an eating disorder. You need not let anyone tell you
otherwise.
As you read, please keep in mind that my process of change did not
happen as quickly as the book may imply. My hospitalizations spanned
a handful of journeys over three hundred days within a five-year period,
(not including outpatient work). Old habits die hard, particularly when
dealing with an obstinate, thick skull like mine, so it took some time before
I wised up and realized that letting go of my eating disorder lifestyle was
preferable to holding on to it.
I also found one thing in common between the eating disorder lifestyle
and the process of recovering from it: both have strong elements of hard
work and routine. It takes just as much will power to train my brain to
memorize a Bible verse or a positive affirmation as it does to drag myself
x