Table Of ContentCarlyle Jansen
sex
yourself
“we women have had our minds filled with
negative messages, especially about female
pleasure. it’s time to own our sexuality and
woman’s Guide
The To
this book helps you do it! Carlyle covers all
masTerinG masTurbaTion
the bases—no female body part nor question
has gone unturned or unanswered. i loved and aChievinG powerful
every page and it will be on my must-read orGasms
list for clients.”
— laurie betito, ph.d., author of
The Sex Bible for People Over 50
© 2015 Quiver all rights reserved. no part of this book library of congress cataloging-in-
Text © 2015 Quiver may be reproduced or utilized, in any publication data
illustrations © 2015 Quiver form or by any means, electronic or
mechanical, without prior permission in Jansen, carlyle.
first published in the usa in 2015 by writing from the publisher. sex yourself : the woman’s guide to
Quiver, a member of mastering masturbation and achieving
Quarto publishing Group usa inc. The publisher maintains the records powerful orgasms / carlyle Jansen.
100 cummings center relating to images in this book required pages cm
suite 406-l by 18 usc 2257. records are located at isbn 978-1-59233-679-1 (paperback) —
beverly, ma 01915-6101 Quarto publishing Group usa, inc., 100 isbn 978-1-62788-354-2 (eisbn)
www.quiverbooks.com cummings center, suite 406-l, beverly, 1. sex instruction. 2. sex. i. Title.
ma 01915-6101. hQ56.J275 2015
613.9071--dc23
18 17 16 15 14 1 2 3 4 5 2014049443
isbn: 978-1-59233-679-1 cover design: burge agency
book design: burge agency
digital edition published in 2015 illustrations: laia albaladejo
eisbn: 978-1-62788-354-2 photography: shutterstock.com
developmental edit: megan buckley
printed and bound in hong Kong
ccoonntteennttss
inTroducTion 6
chapTer HealtHy Solo Sex 12
one
chapTer anatomy, Hot SpotS, 22
Two
and erogenouS ZoneS
chapTer KicK-Starting 42
Three
pleaSure:
discoverinG your eroTic
poTenTial
chapTer How to SHe-Bop: 62
four
sTroKes, TechniQues, and
TricKs
chapTer cHooSing and uSing 88
five
Sex toyS
chapTer Spicing it up: 112
six
Keep your solo sex rouTine fun,
hoT, and exciTinG
chapTer Bigger, Better, 124
seven
multiple orgaSmS
chapTer coming togetHer: 150
eiGhT
from orGasms alone To
orGasms wiTh a parTner
conclusion 166
resources 168
references 170
abouT The auThor 172
acKnowledGmenTs 173
index 174
“Masturbation: the
primary sexual activity
of mankind. In the
nineteenth century, it
was a disease; in the
twentieth, it’s a cure.”
Thomas Szasz,
psychiatrist
6 sex yourself
inTroducTion
welcome to your solo sex adventure self-pleasure even hotter. Then there’s exploring myself, trying to figure out
guide! if you’re looking to make your sex everything you need to know about what was going on in and around the area
life more varied and more fulfilling—on orgasms: how to find them, how to make that pee came from. i’d never heard of a
your own or with a partner—you’ve come them bigger and better, and how to vagina, much less a clitoris. i was
to the right place. you may be brand new share them with a partner. for the grand looking at the folds of skin between my
to the art of solo play, or perhaps you are finale, you’ll find lots of ways to practice legs—my labia—when my mom walked in
an experienced connoisseur. either way, solo sex with a partner (yes, solo sex on me. she didn’t say anything—except
sex yourself will help you explore the can make your partnered sex life far to tell me to be sure to wash my hands
infinite possibilities of self-pleasure. more exciting!). afterward. i did, but i never explored that
The following chapters will debunk the first, let me tell you a little bit about part of my body again as a child.
myths that can make it tough to myself. These days, i run a sexuality as i grew up, sex and relationships
embrace masturbation, and will show you retail store and workshop center called terrified me, probably because i didn’t
why (and how!) solo sex should be Good for her. based in Toronto, Good for know anything about them other than
celebrated. you’ll get an in-depth look at her offers a selection of top-quality what i learned from hollywood and Tv.
your erogenous anatomy, and you’ll sex toys, books, dvds, and workshops although i dated a little during high
discover how to get yourself in the mood on sex and sexuality. but i grew up in a school, each time the intimacy moved
for pleasure when sex is the furthest conservative household in which sex beyond kissing, i freaked out and ran
thing from your mind. once you’re ready didn’t exist. we never discussed it away. finally, when i was twenty-one, i
for some self-loving, you’ll learn a whole as a family, and the only intimacy i was dating someone i felt pretty
slew of solo sex techniques, and you’ll witnessed at home was my mom kissing comfortable with, and i decided i was
find out plenty about how sex toys and my dad on the cheek—once. Then, when i ready to try sex. when we were about to
other fun accessories can make was about six years old, i was in my room take our clothes off, i stopped. “i’m
7
several years and relationships later, well, that sounded like a lot of fun!
my inability to orgasm got me dumped. my sister and her friends were my first
my partner found it too stressful to have workshop participants, and with that, my
terrified of your penis,” i told him. “i’ve sex with me without the finale everyone new career was born. lots of my
never seen one before.” he was really expects. well, this was a turning point for workshop participants told me they’d
patient, and after he gave me a guided me: now my inability to orgasm was love to have access to a comfortable,
tour, i decided that we could make getting in the way of my relationships. professional place where they could take
friends, his penis and i. and we did. but so i went to a good friend for advice and more workshops and buy good quality
when we had sex, i felt pleasure and asked her what i needed to do to climax. products. so i opened Good for her, and i
intensity building—with no release. i she told me i should buy the hitachi continued to learn from my colleagues,
didn’t know what to expect, because i magic wand, a back massager. i did. and a customers, and workshop participants.
hadn’t experimented with masturbation couple of weeks later, i had my first over time, i found that so many women
since my mother interrupted me fifteen orgasm. finally, i knew what everyone was were struggling with masturbation,
years earlier. once, my partner stopped talking about: i was a part of the “o” club! finding their erogenous zones, having
what he was doing and asked me what i as the years passed, i continued my orgasms with their partners, or having
liked. “aren’t you supposed to know sexual exploration: i kept buying toys orgasms at all—just like i had. i enrolled
that?” i replied. Gently, he suggested and kept learning. when my sister, a in a sex therapy training program, on
that it might be helpful if i knew a little united church of canada minister, was top of other formal and informal
more about my own body, and about what getting married in 1995, i bought her educational opportunities, so that i could
brought me pleasure. some fun toys to celebrate her help my customers even more—and much
so i decided to be a good student. i relationship. i brought them as wrapped of this book’s content is a direct result
tried really diligently to have an orgasm, gifts to her bridal shower, thinking that of my own experience in giving
both on my own and with my partner. no they were a pretty typical kind of bridal workshops and in coaching individuals
joy. i’d feel a little bit of pleasure, but no shower present. well, according to her and couples, as well as my own personal
fireworks. after a while, i’d get bored friends—who brought wine glasses and adventures, of course.
and give up. after two years of focused pottery—sex toys were not regular bridal
effort, i gave up for good. i rationalized shower gifts. when they saw the toys i’d
it to myself in this way: some people are brought, my sister’s friends exclaimed,
tall, others are short; some are good at “what on earth is that?” and asked,
math, while others are good at art; some “where do you stick it?” and “what does
people can orgasm, and some people it do?” i answered all of their questions
can’t. and you know what? i enjoyed sex, matter-of-factly, and they told me that
but i accepted that i wouldn’t be able to because i was so comfortable talking
have an orgasm, and i adjusted my about sex, i should start conducting
expectations accordingly. workshops on the subject.
8 sex yourself
